I'm an atheist for the most part. The idea of longing for more in our existence kinda voids atheism but it's how I feel at the moment.
I just don't mesh with organized religion. I don't like the bigotry and hypocrisy that comes along with it. I was raised Christian but always resented it.
Im in a low spot, and at the end of the day, all I wanna do is be a good person. Something really fuckin' basic ya know? I try my best and the for the most part I think I succeed. However, for having such basic goals I don't get the peace in life and the fulfillment.
In fact, my brain is so fucked up, I don't even get to enjoy the peace of mind that everything's going how it should. It's always searching for conflict. It can't just enjoy the moment, so it finds something for me to worry about. Or It creates a scenario for me to worry about.
I wish there's more to this life because should I decide I'm too tired to go on anymore, maybe the next level will let me experience the peace and tranquility I've been yearning for. I want such basic things yet I feel this life has forsaken me from just the simplicity of being content.
It's getting harder and harder. 
.
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Oops didn't fully read OP. If you're serious about how you're feeling and worried you might harm yourself, call and talk to someone!
Bro, you there?
Be strong man. Exercise till you are exhausted and you won't over think for a while.
retiredblubelt,
Life owes you nothing, and life can be harsh and unpredictable and counter to your dreams. . But keep in mind,even at your worst, living in a stable country (for the most part) makes you in a better state than 60% of the world.
More to this life? Look around. There's more to learnt than you could ever do. There is more to life, it's living with the understanding you'be been given the gift of consciousness and thr ability to do almost whatever you choose. Take advantage. Do what you think is right for you and your loved ones, and forget the rest.
You still with that wife of yours?
Retired Blue Belt - I'm an atheist for the most part. The idea of longing for more in our existence kinda voids atheism but it's how I feel at the moment.Start studying the bible again. See how Jesus addressed the hypocrites and how he taught us we should live
I just don't mesh with organized religion. I don't like the bigotry and hypocrisy that comes along with it. I was raised Christian but always resented it.
Im in a low spot, and at the end of the day, all I wanna do is be a good person. Something really fuckin' basic ya know? I try my best and the for the most part I think I succeed. However, for having such basic goals I don't get the peace in life and the fulfillment.
In fact, my brain is so fucked up, I don't even get to enjoy the peace of mind that everything's going how it should. It's always searching for conflict. It can't just enjoy the moment, so it finds something for me to worry about. Or It creates a scenario for me to worry about.
I wish there's more to this life because should I decide I'm too tired to go on anymore, maybe the next level will let me experience the peace and tranquility I've been yearning for. I want such basic things yet I feel this life has forsaken me from just the simplicity of being content.
It's getting harder and harder.
So it goes.
you stated you just wanted to be a good person. Identify a couple things you can be a part of in your community. Help out. Enjoy being a good person
I'm pretty sad this morning.
Live your life right, and be a good person, and you'll be fine.
I don't understand being in a hurry to see what's on the other side. Live and enjoy life, even if things are bad, because once it's over it's over. You'll get to experience the other side for eternity, might as well experience this side for as long as possible before crossing over 
In for later when I can write a more thoughtful response.
First, try and make sure you get 8hrs of sleep. Once you're rested, try and get out and enjoy nature. Be around happy people. Become physically active. Yoga was great for me when I was have a really rough time. Chicks and deep breathing. Nothing better! Lol. Most important though, see a doctor and talk to them. No shame in that. Even the strongest need help sometimes.
You can believe in God, yet not take the Bible as the "be all, end all" and (IMO) largely reject religion.
I have pretty much no use for organized religion as a whole. I believe parts of the Bible, but not necessarily the whole thing. Or at least know it's not the whole story. And I don't know that I necessarily believe the whole idea that God is merely the old dude in the throne looking down upon us. I hold almost a more abstract view of God...silly as it sounds, but almost more akin to how The Force is described in the Star Wars movies.
I also know that I don't know enough to say I know what God is, but that I can find peace in seeking the truth for myself & developing / pursuing a personally spiritual path and relationship.
Probably why I dislike most organized religion. (I won't say "all" as I've not been exposed to all organized religion, so therefore won't paint it all with the same brush.)
You're newly separated. It's going to take a while until you feel better.
Retired Blue Belt - I'm an atheist for the most part. The idea of longing for more in our existence kinda voids atheism but it's how I feel at the moment.
I just don't mesh with organized religion. I don't like the bigotry and hypocrisy that comes along with it. I was raised Christian but always resented it.
Im in a low spot, and at the end of the day, all I wanna do is be a good person. Something really fuckin' basic ya know? I try my best and the for the most part I think I succeed. However, for having such basic goals I don't get the peace in life and the fulfillment.
In fact, my brain is so fucked up, I don't even get to enjoy the peace of mind that everything's going how it should. It's always searching for conflict. It can't just enjoy the moment, so it finds something for me to worry about. Or It creates a scenario for me to worry about.
I wish there's more to this life because should I decide I'm too tired to go on anymore, maybe the next level will let me experience the peace and tranquility I've been yearning for. I want such basic things yet I feel this life has forsaken me from just the simplicity of being content.
It's getting harder and harder.
Look into Christianity for yourself. Read Christ's words and the New Testament and you get a better idea of what Christianity is. Much of what we see in modern churches is not what Christ intended. Find out for yourself and ask the Holy Spirit to lead you on the journey. That's what he is here for.