well I feel old as shit today....
make fun of me, cheer me up the OG way.....
For a 35 year old....you can't spell for shit!
TUREND?
Take some Viagra, then go fuck yourself.
Stick your finger up your ass, wiggle it around and report back. 
I stopped fucking your wife over a year ago, get over it man 
I remember when I turned 35. Initiate downward spiral. Have fun circling the toilet bowl of life until you reach the bottom and die.
oh, and Happy Birthday.
Your name is backwards, you've already been alive longer than you were meant to and all the dreams and successes you've hoped for are now likely too far gone.
Just give up and enter a spiralling depression, accelerated by delicious delicious booze. It's for the better
You have a lot to look forward to....
Thyroid problems
Lower sex drive
Weight gain
Lack of motivation
Aches and pains for no good reason
Ever increasing feeling of impending doom
Happy birthday, enjoy
Happy birthday. Prepare for everything to start hurting/aching and more body hair to sprout than you ever imagined possible.
"Ever increasing feeling of impending doom"
Holy fucking this, Batman.
Happy b day mine is on the 24th. You can't possibly be a bigger loser than me though so at least you have that going for you.
Half way to 70!
At your age you're considered gross by all the girls you wanna bang. Fortunately for you, your overworked immune system will allow the aids to kill you quickly.
Out of curiosity, which of the following have you already lost?
Eyesight
Hair
Selfrespect
Boners
I guess 35 is still young enough to attention whore.
dont worry you balls wont drop to the floor until you are 35
oh wait you are 35
hello dangle balls!
Snappy Whistleteeth -
You have a lot to look forward to....
Thyroid problems
Lower sex drive
Weight gain
Lack of motivation
Aches and pains for no good reason
Ever increasing feeling of impending doom
Happy birthday, enjoy
Hey look on the bright side, you can cash out your 401K and have lots and lots of sex with younger women paid to be with you until something like cancer or heart disease brings about the sweet embrace of death and then you cash in your chips and you to hell to burn and burn forever.
I turned 35 last December and I've never felt better. Forget about the age and do what it takes to make you happy. Grab life by the balls and caress the shit out of them fuckers.
I mock your value system.
Also, you look foolish in the eyes of others.
Past instances, in which I professed to like you, were fraudulent!
Freeman -Yea well, recently I turned 47 and 1\2.
I'll be 46 on Sunday so go fuck yourself OP!
Happy birthday!
So double secret go fuck the both of you.
2soon - well I feel old as shit today....
make fun of me, cheer me up the OG way.....
I'm not saying this to just bust your balls but I felt 5 times worse at 40 than 35. You need to just enjoy 35 because you only deteriorate at a faster pace the older you get. Think of how big of a piece of shit an unrestored 35 year old car is.