Ever since I first laid eyes on that sweater, I wanted it. I want it like Joe Pesci wanted my house in Home Alone.
But there is one thing missing. I have the build, the elite-level athleticism, the eventuality that I may one day be bald (thanks, Grandpa)....but I have no sweater. My torso remains frigid, frostbitten even, in this harsh Canadian June. I am ill-prepared for the coming fall, and by winter I may very well perish.
It is an all-purpose piece of clothing, something you can wear to a press conference and outclass the Golden Boy himself, Oscar De La Hoya.
On the flip side, it doubles as a great comfort piece, used for some hobnobbing over drinks with the comrades, or perhaps a lighthearted TV interview. A true well-rounded sweater, skilled in all disciplines.
I try to stay positive in my search, but I am nearing the end of my rope. I appeal to you, the good people of the MMA community, to locate a vendor for this sweater. I am willing to pay up to and including 125 Canadian Dollars for this sweater, and possibly more depending on my Mid-Summer Bonus from A&P/Metro Food Stores.
And if I do not find it, well, it is God's will.