I would absolute die inside. Somehow, after taking the necessary time to wither within I would have no choice but to pull up my socks and figure my shit out for the sake of my kids. If my kids are older and moved out by then, I may just head up into the mountains and keep going until I can go anymore.
My father-in-law is in the hospital as we speak, after having surgery on Wednesday to have some of his intestines removed because they found something. Seemed it was going to be a minor procedure but I just heard something is going on and they're keeping him in the hospital instead of sending him home today.
My mother-in-law has alzheimers kicking in more rapidly by the day, and we are realizing how much he was doing for her at home, and how the stress of this is really impacting her at the moment as she seems twice as bad this week as she had up to now. We're doing all we can, but realizing some in home care is definitely necessary. He is worried about her, she is worried about him, and I have been thinking about this subject more than ever this past week.
I wish nothing but a positive turn of events for you and your wife OP! Loads of good energy coming your way from BC Canada as I end this post!
Sincognito - I had a co-worker, young guy with a huge, saggy gut, get married and have kids. He was poor, so he and his wife delivered newspapers in the A.M., as well.
2 months ago they're in a horrible car accident. His wife dies. For the next month his Facebook posts were either sharing memories/pictures of his wife, or GoFundMe's for funeral expenses and tombstone expense.
Then, out of the blue, he starts posting pictures of him and another woman (who is always flicking the camera off), and before you know it the dude is in a relationship. Now, every post is some meme about love and how much he's in love with this woman. He's also posting text pictures that say shit like, "Never judge a woman for crying, you don't know what hell she has gone through."
I'm like, so confused by how much he's just switched from mourning husband to desperately in love lunatic.
<br />
<p>
<span class="User-354788" id="userPost59771195">When you're so broken that you barely are able to manage being alive, and then one day something gives you the reason to do that again, you'll understand.</span></p>
</blockquote>
<span class="User-354788" id="userPost59771195">How long did it take you before you started dating?</span></blockquote>
2 years.
What kind of pisses me off is that people have this expectation that you must wait a certain length of time or not go too long otherwise they can't accept it.
The truth is, they don't matter. They are not the ones living that hell. They have no right to tell you how long you are going to be there.
Yet they say things like, "Oh it's too soon" or "Oh he needs to get over it and move on."
Let me be the first to tell them...f*ck off.
You arn't living that hell so until you are, just shut your got d@mn mouth.
You don't think that the guy who found something to live for in 3 months won't be grieving still? That he won't be any less messed up that the guy who took 2 years?
This is not directed at you btw. Just kinda irks me still.
Overall, my suggestion is to live your life and say everything. You don't know when you won't be able to and you don't want to be sitting there saying, "I iwish I would have..."
Thanks, gents! She is going to kick ass, but our friends got me thinking... Let's be real, I've been thinking about it since I found out. It takes all the desire of career advancement, savings, home ownership, and makes it all irrelevant to me. I want to just drift away, and not have to talk about it with EVERYONE. It's already a struggle to talk about the situation with everyone. It becomes exhausting, and just makes me wish that there was a resolution. I guess It's the Final Countdown da da da daaaaaaa da da da da daaaaaa! Or, I spend the next few months watching her get weaker and weaker.
Anyway, that's not what I feel is going to happen, but just a thread of consciousness I've had to travel down.
I always joke with my wife that i will make sure i die first so i dont have to deal with it haha.
The only issue i see with your plan is you'd let your wife down. We all would want our loved ones to live full and meaningful lives after we go but often can't comprehend do it ourselves.
I hope your wife pulls through and makes a full recovery, but if that doesn't happen, make her proud.
Sincognito - I had a co-worker, young guy with a huge, saggy gut, get married and have kids. He was poor, so he and his wife delivered newspapers in the A.M., as well.
2 months ago they're in a horrible car accident. His wife dies. For the next month his Facebook posts were either sharing memories/pictures of his wife, or GoFundMe's for funeral expenses and tombstone expense.
Then, out of the blue, he starts posting pictures of him and another woman (who is always flicking the camera off), and before you know it the dude is in a relationship. Now, every post is some meme about love and how much he's in love with this woman. He's also posting text pictures that say shit like, "Never judge a woman for crying, you don't know what hell she has gone through."
I'm like, so confused by how much he's just switched from mourning husband to desperately in love lunatic.
<br />
<p>
<span class="User-354788" id="userPost59771195">When you're so broken that you barely are able to manage being alive, and then one day something gives you the reason to do that again, you'll understand.</span></p>
</blockquote>
<span class="User-354788" id="userPost59771195">How long did it take you before you started dating?</span></blockquote>
2 years.
What kind of pisses me off is that people have this expectation that you must wait a certain length of time or not go too long otherwise they can't accept it.
The truth is, they don't matter. They are not the ones living that hell. They have no right to tell you how long you are going to be there.
Yet they say things like, "Oh it's too soon" or "Oh he needs to get over it and move on."
Let me be the first to tell them...f*ck off.
You arn't living that hell so until you are, just shut your got d@mn mouth.
You don't think that the guy who found something to live for in 3 months won't be grieving still? That he won't be any less messed up that the guy who took 2 years?
This is not directed at you btw. Just kinda irks me still.
Overall, my suggestion is to live your life and say everything. You don't know when you won't be able to and you don't want to be sitting there saying, "I iwish I would have..."
I'm being forced to think about it. My wife has a surgery tomorrow. This is the second time she is having it. The first time, the surgeon gave her a 10% chance to live. She did, and has soldiered on 6 more years.
Unfortunately, everything doesn't always stay fixed. She is having the same surgery tomorrow. She is having her intestines cut and resected due to an inability to eat or drink meaningful quantities. The surgeon said her intestines have looped on themselves, and scar tissue is keeping them constricted.
So, anyway, we just had friends come over. The entire talk was about how I will manage if she doesn't make it tomorrow. WTF? Anyway, I don't know. I think I'll disappear to an island somewhere -- maybe sell stuff on the beach. I will just want to get away from this all. I love my wife more and more every day. So, the memories we've built may just be too much.
Anyway, I've got a lot on my mind, and am just wondering what you savages would do?
I almost went through this in December, the wife delivered our second child. Everything was gravy up until the actual delivery, there were some complications and she ended up passing a huge blood clot and hemorrhaging a bunch to the point where she passed out.
She ended up in the high risk ward for about a week.
The whole time I was trying to figure out how I would handle shit if she died.
Fortunately for me, she survived. But I never came up with an answer.....still don't have one. I'd be a single father of 2 youmg daughter's with no idea what to do. I'm sure I'd work it out.....but will happily put that off for as long as possible.
I'm being forced to think about it. My wife has a surgery tomorrow. This is the second time she is having it. The first time, the surgeon gave her a 10% chance to live. She did, and has soldiered on 6 more years.
Unfortunately, everything doesn't always stay fixed. She is having the same surgery tomorrow. She is having her intestines cut and resected due to an inability to eat or drink meaningful quantities. The surgeon said her intestines have looped on themselves, and scar tissue is keeping them constricted.
So, anyway, we just had friends come over. The entire talk was about how I will manage if she doesn't make it tomorrow. WTF? Anyway, I don't know. I think I'll disappear to an island somewhere -- maybe sell stuff on the beach. I will just want to get away from this all. I love my wife more and more every day. So, the memories we've built may just be too much.
Anyway, I've got a lot on my mind, and am just wondering what you savages would do?
I'd have to get over the shock that I was married and didn't know it first. Then I would deal with the consequences.
I'm being forced to think about it. My wife has a surgery tomorrow. This is the second time she is having it. The first time, the surgeon gave her a 10% chance to live. She did, and has soldiered on 6 more years.
Unfortunately, everything doesn't always stay fixed. She is having the same surgery tomorrow. She is having her intestines cut and resected due to an inability to eat or drink meaningful quantities. The surgeon said her intestines have looped on themselves, and scar tissue is keeping them constricted.
So, anyway, we just had friends come over. The entire talk was about how I will manage if she doesn't make it tomorrow. WTF? Anyway, I don't know. I think I'll disappear to an island somewhere -- maybe sell stuff on the beach. I will just want to get away from this all. I love my wife more and more every day. So, the memories we've built may just be too much.
Anyway, I've got a lot on my mind, and am just wondering what you savages would do?
