Intimidation, please help

Hey Tony, I started submission grappling a couple months ago and I have wrestled and always been active in sports but for some reason in wrestling and now the submission grappling I get intimidated very easily when I see who my opponent is going to be, or if I know that he is very good. I have the mindset that I would really like to win but I dont believe that I am going to beat the really good guys and I think this hurts me a lot. I want to have the attitude that no one is going to beat me but without being real cocky. How come I think like this and how can I change it so I do believe in myself more.


If your experience is anything like mine, chances are, you think you are going to loose because you are loosing all the time! After a 'couple of months' how good do you really expect to be against the top guys?In time you will get better, and instead of being the one doing all the tapping, you will be the one making others tap. With success comes confidence, but that success takes a looong time to come and a LOT more training!

I am no MrBlauer but perhaps changing how you define winning might be a place to look. In a sport situation if you look at learning and having a good roll as winning perhaps you wont build the thing up in your mind.

I am interested in MrBlauer's response to this question on self defense level ,also. The idea I think is not to win a fight but to survive an encounter that one has failed to avoid?

I dont have to beat anyone so it is harder to feel intimidated?

Thanks for the forum Mr Blauer.


think about your opponent not as person but some animal one taht you dont care for at all im not sayin be abd sportsman or chaet but in the ring let it all hang out

Hi Guys,

Intimidation is a mental dis-ease that makes up an important segment in my fear management courses. It is a particularly important concept for your success in life, be it in the ring, the street at work or home.

I'm going to share thoughts on intimidation separate to the specific question and approach it more philosophically.

Like many of my principles, I approach the issue of 'intimidation' from the a different perspective; you are forewarned.

Here goes:

In reality, no one has ever intimidated 'you'.

'You' have only intimidated yourself by attaching significance (negative images) to your opponent's posturing, size, verbal assualts, resume, belt, etc.

Remember the scene's in THE WATERBOY, where there's shift in how Sandler's character 'chose' to see his opponent? It changes everything. As funny as the movie was this was a really good example of mind-set and psychological fear.

This principle works both ways of course, so trying to 'intimidate' your oppoennet can distract you from simply being strategic.

In real life, if the fighter you face has prepared himself, on all levels, and he's shown up to fight, chances are nothing will phase him except two things:

Getting hit so hard that he is physically phased or losing emotional focus which usually causes people to give up; to lose the 'will' to fight.

In reality, there is nothing 'you' can do to intimidate an opponent. Only the opponent can intimidate himself. ANd vice versa.

The whole psychology of intimidation is fascinating and is an important element to my fear management program. But it is definitely a new paradigm and takes some reflecting before we realize its importance.

One more thing: Understanding this new perspective doesn't mean we are free from intimidation. As humans, our emotions are at the forefront of our behavior and so we will experience intimidation so long as we have fears.

Your new power is to realize - in that moment - that it is you helping to give your opponent his power. And there's no need to ever make your opponent more dangerous than he already is.

Have a great day.



ttt again for mr blauer

Thank you MrBlauer and MrSonnon.

As is usual I am humbled and grateful.