Just sharted AMA

Got back from a quick hike. Drank 12 beers last night and had 3-egg omelet thus morning w/ coffee.

A little ago had a bag of Matador beef jerky and 33 oz coconut water.

Got a little too overconfident and pushed hard to blast out two huge farts, with the second one wet and squishy.

Underwear casualties so far unknown.

I'll be happy to address any questions as this situation unfolds. Phone Post 3.0

Shartnado? Phone Post 3.0

Did you post this before getting to a toilet? 

 

If so, I admire your dedication, but would advise that you rethink your priorities sir.

Jizz to mud ratio?

I stopped in a kmart to use their bathroom. Streaks in underwear= underwear thrown on top of maintenance cabinet....sorry kmart.

Currently pissing coconut water out of my ass nonstop. Phone Post 3.0

J:M is about 8:10 Phone Post 3.0

6ULDV8 -


Did you post this before getting to a toilet? 



 



If so, I admire your dedication, but would advise that you rethink your priorities sir.

This is live coverage, sir Phone Post 3.0

Wtf ants? There's an ant farm under me and now they're crawling in my shoes . Who the fuck has an ant colony in their department store ? Phone Post 3.0

WaltJ - 
6ULDV8 -


Did you post this before getting to a toilet? 



 



If so, I admire your dedication, but would advise that you rethink your priorities sir.

This is live coverage, sir Phone Post 3.0


This isn't a question, but if you go out there and buy a pair of underwear, explain to the teller what happened while paying for them and show her this thread, and then to back to the same stall to change into your new underwear, and walk out of that Kmart with your head held high and a wink for the teller that sold you your new gitch...



 



I quit my job tomorrow and come and work for you, because you sir, are a goddam boss!

WaltJ - J:M is about 8:10 Phone Post 3.0
4:5, IMO. Phone Post 3.0

Ankle status? Phone Post 3.0

Hope you have deep cheeks Phone Post 3.0

How was the smell? Phone Post 3.0

I did this at work once I just cut the patch of shit out of my underwear with an exacto knife. Phone Post 3.0

Quickly. Describe the aroma that is coming out your shorts as we speak. Phone Post 3.0

cuzzi - I did this at work once I just cut the patch of shit out of my underwear with an exacto knife. Phone Post 3.0

this killed me haha

Sharting is no joke. I hope your boxers will pull through. Phone Post 3.0

Undies were compromised, so I had to ditch them. Drove home (very carefully) and promptly took a shower and changed , but goddamn if I'll ever drink half a case of beer and a shitload of coconut water again Phone Post 3.0

Phone Post 3.0