Just shit my pants

Was out and my stomach got the bloop bloop. I wasn’t near a restroom so I was attempting to hold it and the pain grew excruciating. I had the sensation that I needed to shit but the pain was such that I felt like a well timed slow fart could relieve some pressure. I proceeded cautiously and my fart came with a charging shit patty following. Was driving. 

I pulled into a residential area and found some bushes and took off my shorts and boxers. Wiped my ass with the boxers and left them. Someone is going to get a surprise next time they trim their bushes.  I was mortified but luckily no one saw me. Time to reset the calendar back to 1. 

 

The Donkeypuncher - 

Was out and my stomach got the bloop bloop. I wasn’t near a restroom so I was attempting to hold it and the pain grew excruciating. I had the sensation that I needed to shit but the pain was such that I felt like a well timed slow fart could relieve some pressure. I proceeded cautiously and my fart came with a charging shit patty following. Was driving. 

I pulled into a residential area and found some bushes and took off my shorts and boxers. Wiped my ass with the boxers and left them. Someone is going to get a surprise next time they trim their bushes.  I was mortified but luckily no one saw me. Time to reset the calendar back to 1. 

 



Shit.  That was you on my outdoor cam?



Bastard!

Can't talk now Flanders, I've got a class to teach!

(
Can't talk now Flanders, I've got a class to teach!
 

lionsoul -
The Donkeypuncher - 

Was out and my stomach got the bloop bloop. I wasn’t near a restroom so I was attempting to hold it and the pain grew excruciating. I had the sensation that I needed to shit but the pain was such that I felt like a well timed slow fart could relieve some pressure. I proceeded cautiously and my fart came with a charging shit patty following. Was driving. 

I pulled into a residential area and found some bushes and took off my shorts and boxers. Wiped my ass with the boxers and left them. Someone is going to get a surprise next time they trim their bushes.  I was mortified but luckily no one saw me. Time to reset the calendar back to 1. 

 



Shit.  That was you on my outdoor cam?



Bastard!

You can keep the boxers. 

Mm hmm, last year I was at the fair and same thing happened. I went to bathroom took off boxers, cleaned up, threw me out, and tied hoodie around my waist like Rocky from 3 ninjas and rode all the rides I wanted, lol. Had like a quarter-sized stain on my pants. my fam was Rolling and riding on me the entire time.. 

Didn’t let it get in the way of my Funtime and Dunkin the clown 3 times throwing faster than fuck. 

 

They are going to get your DNA off the boxers and hunt you down.

You never trust a fart man.

 

 

 

 

Not even in a fire.

Did I ever tell you guys about the time I shit myself in a vehicle full of co-workers in Vietnam?

 

A lot like you've desdcribed here, except there were 25 of my closest collegues there to witness and smell the damage.

 

I also left behind some nice jeans and boxers for a local.

NEVER GAMBLE ON A FART

Never_rolled -

A few months ago I was at my GF's and she left for the office and I had to let out a fart. I sharted all over her sheets. FML

I did this same exact thing years ago. It wasn't my gf but she was in the next room. I think she got suspicious when I suddenly wanted to do her laundry but she never found out

TheDookeypuncher, imo