laughable pickups

what are some laughable pickup lines guys have tried on you?

i had a guy tell me once "your hot...like a jalepeno"

i loled in his face :)

response:

"You're a tool... like DeWalt."

Shoving a chair into my friend and I so that we would talk to him and his friend. It ultimately worked but I called him an asshole and told him he's doing it wrong. Little while later, he turns to me and says "So are we going to fuck or what?" I told him no and then got the whole bar laughing at him as I belittled his stupid self for being an idiot.

meow mix - Shoving a chair into my friend and I so that we would talk to him and his friend. It ultimately worked but I called him an asshole and told him he's doing it wrong. Little while later, he turns to me and says "So are we going to fuck or what?" I told him no and then got the whole bar laughing at him as I belittled his stupid self for being an idiot.



 lol come on now meow mix how could you resist an obvious winner like that?

Sandy Cheeks - 
meow mix - Shoving a chair into my friend and I so that we would talk to him and his friend. It ultimately worked but I called him an asshole and told him he's doing it wrong. Little while later, he turns to me and says "So are we going to fuck or what?" I told him no and then got the whole bar laughing at him as I belittled his stupid self for being an idiot.



 lol come on now meow mix how could you resist an obvious winner like that?

I don't know. He was definitely a winner though.

 

"do you swallow" is the best pick up line cause I breaks the ice and shows if the woman can laugh or if she's a whore my go to line is a simple one "hello how are you doing" Phone Post

"Are you from Tennesse? Cause you're the only 10 i See." and "nice shoes. Wanna f*ck?"

I once told a girl in a bar that she had the most beautiful hair color I had ever seen.
She actually did have the most beautiful hair color I had ever seen and I'm certain she got that all the time from everyone.
She then proceeded to open her pants to show me it was her natural color.
I was caught completely off guard and I think it took me about 10 seconds to come up with "Yeah, that really looks great :)"

Any of the PUA bullshit

And

"I'd like to kiss you where you pee (or bleed)"

Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

I had some guy walk up to me once when I was downtown. He was grabbing his crotch and sticking his tongue out, and walks up to me that way and says "where's yo man".

I didn't know if he was trying to pick me up or what LOL I looked at him and said "at home, want me to call him?" he stopped grabbing himself and walks away.

Perhaps I could have thought of something clever to say, but seriously? do you really get girls that way? WOW

My dad is in the hospital with a broken hip. My mom and I are visiting and this beautiful young nurse walks into the room. My dad says "What did you have to do, win a beauty contest to work here.?" The good thing is my mom also found it funny.

They call me Fred Flintstone cause I make your bed rock! Phone Post

 hahaha

U girls r 4getn 1 that we say "those pants are ugly.take em off Phone Post

I'd suck a fart out of your ass and hold it like a bong hit. Phone Post

Hey, is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I can totally see myself in your pants. Phone Post

Do you work at subway???



Cuz your giving me a footlong. Phone Post

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven because have sex with me Phone Post

Is it hot in here or is it just you? Phone Post