Life can suck my balls

Just had enough.

By before I rant on, as much as I fucking hate things right now, I have 2 kids and I will suffer every day in silence, through the agony and misery rather than put them through ‘that’.
One promise I’ve made that I will never break.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t sit here thinking it. Feeling fucking worthless. Thing is, I know I’m not worthless, my kids love me. It’s hard to explain, if you know you know.
I wanna go to sleep and never wake. Drive away and never look back, but I don’t. Barely holding the family/marriage together. My wife, as amazing as she is, just can’t cope with my mood swings right now.
I need help. I want help. But apparently I gotta just fucking wait, and keep fucking up mine and others lives along the way.
On probation and doing community service. Broke my hand yesterday punching a table, rather than a person and landing inside. Medication isn’t right, fucking me up and giving side effects. And not even scratched the surface there.
I don’t give a fuck if not one of you cunts replies, I just needed to vent a bit before I explode.

Fuck you world.

28 Likes

What started all this stuff? Tell us the whole story.

I am a psycho too, I am likely to understand.

15 Likes

Damn dude
I feel for you.
You’re doing the right thing by trying to hold it together for your family.
In this crazy ass world, they need their father.

3 Likes

Sounds like you’re thinking long term and unselfishly and have a great family.

So you’re better at life than most.

Don’t be a prisoner of the moment. Today’s issues will eventually pass.

I’m rooting for you.

5 Likes

being angry is a choice

6 Likes

That blows brother. You should do some research on visualization, laws of attraction and that type of shit. No joke, it can help and fairly quickly. I don’t buy into this type of thing normally but someone talked me into checking it out and it did help me. Good luck

3 Likes

So is punching a table…

3 Likes

Qigong as a meditative exercise helps a lot.

have you had your testosterone levels looked at? you sound a like you feel a little hopeless and frustrated.

One day at a time man. One foot in front of the other. Just do your community service and check in with the court/officer. That bullshit goes away before you know it as long as you do your part.

I do hear that the tables in your hood are all going to band together and jump you back.

4 Likes

Same with jelqing

2 Likes

I’m bipolar, I’ve only just been officially diagnosed, though known for years. I’ve coped in life, just gotten on with it
Now I need help. I need the correct medication.

Grafted hard to take care of my family.
Then along comes this covid bullshit and life is flipped on its head. And I’m struggling with this ‘new world’ shit. It’s dragging me down, but I refuse to surrender. So no mask, no jab etc etc, but that means me and the family are limited to what we can be doing. And as much as my family mean to me, I refuse to surrender my principles. Causing tension.
I have physical injuries that are currently going untreated, again ‘cos covid’. So I’m in pain too, 24 fuking 7. Then the insomnia in top. I get 3-5 hours sleep at very most.
Just all culminating into one big ball of fuck you right now.

4 Likes

Spend as much quality time with your kids as you can. They’ll never judge you and it’ll clear your head. Life can always be much worse. You’re luckier than you realize.

1 Like

Meet with your Doctor. They know what dialing in the meds takes and that’s trying different options until one works……for the time being. Don’t be afraid to keep at your Doctor.

2 Likes

Do you have a plan to get the help you need? What’s the next step?

2 Likes

You have a right to feel the way you do. A lot of people feel exactly the same way when they are in a tough situation.

I always recommend to use that anger as a flame of inner will. Use it to make yourself stronger.

3 Likes

We have all been in dark places and the bs over the last 2 years hasn’t helped much.

Don’t do anything stupid OP (aka, don’t be a faggot - not that there is anything wrong with that btw)…

Tomorrow is a new day - day 1…

I get you.

Let it out here. Plenty of folks here can understand.

Misery shared is halved.

2 Likes

I saw the psychiatrist this week. I need to see them again so sort out medication.
I can hold my hands up and admit I’m not right. I want to get better, I want the help.
My marriage is holding on by a thread. As much as I can say it’s both our faults, I know that if I wasn’t like this then things wouldn’t be this bad. I’m a fucking horrible cunt and how she’s not walked out with some of the things I’ve said, I will never know. But I don’t mean a single one of them, I just get in a red mist. I can’t stop, hence my community service shit. That day it took 6 coppers to restrain me. And I barely remember any of it, but I’ve seen the police cam footage.

4 Likes

What if we share misery 33 ways? Then is it still half? Asking for a buddy.

1 Like