Long Distance Relationship - Ever Been In One?

when my wife and I met and married she lived in CA and lived in VA. We didn't live together until 6-8 months after we got married. It's almost 15 years now.

Well, I'm married, but I'm in Brazil for work until January 2016, except for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

From January 2015 until about mid May I was near Tacoma, WA.

So, yeah...2/3 of the time it's a long distance relationship. Makes me question my career choices.

DosAnjos#1fan -
fahker - First year of my current relationship was a 400km distance. Absolutely fucking beautiful.

She would come in on the weekend and I got my brains screwed out and then she would head back so I had a break.

Helped me ease into the relationship. She came in with 3 kids and I wasn't used to it.

All good 8 years later and still getting my brains screwed out. Phone Post 3.0

You are probably one of the very few success stories.
We understood she was moving to me from the beginning. There was no wondering if how it would work out.

I had enough of Southern Ontario and wanted to go back North and it would have been a deal breaker if she asked me to go back South.

Was really just about cleaning out the house in Bramledesh and selling. Phone Post 3.0

I'm in one right now with Taylor Swift. She just doesn't know it yet Phone Post 3.0

They don't work. Point of a relationship is to bond and show affection for one another, to not feel lonely. Kind of hard to accomplish via text and videos. You want to touch boobs, grab skin, pull her hair, kiss her lips, rub her hands, hear her laugh, etc. Long distance doomed to fail almost everytime. Either it falls apart, or there is a third wheel in the relationship. Phone Post 3.0

JROTT - I'm in one right now with Taylor Swift. She just doesn't know it yet Phone Post 3.0
Catfish..lol Phone Post 3.0

I've had 2 that I can think of offhand.

I shall tell you the stories. FRAT warning. Even though I am FRATing I will still try and condense it.

The one in university was were we met in our dorm during orientation weekend in the spring. We got along great and traded numbers. We actually called a lot. (Note: This is late 80's so no cell phones) She lived 2 hours away from me but we instantly "clicked" on the Friday and by Sunday people already thought we were dating.

Over the summer we chatted and talked and I was pretty sure that we'd hang out once we both arrived at university. We chatted daily which seems like nothing now but then there were no cell phones and you had to plan on being in one place or leave messages. Plus there was no e-mail. It was the constant calling and planning to connect that kept us connected. It was work you were putting in and investing even though we probably didn't see that at the time.

By the time I hit university I had a girlfriend already and had been with for a bit. She was a year younger than I and still in High School. When I got there, this girl I had met in the spring was actually waiting for me. She knew I had a GF but we got along so well that we just did everything together. She met my GF when she came to visit etc and we all did stuff together when she did but eventually the being with this girl and my GF being back home led to my leaving my GF and starting to date this girl.

So we were together throughout the school year and at the end of the year I moved to her hometown and lived with her family as I got a job there. We went back to school and while we lived in different dorms this time we pretty much were inseperable. That was the ticket for us. Being together ALL the time was what kept us together. 

However, after second year there was a problem. I couldn't get a job in her city so I had to be 3 hours away while I worked a summer job. Then she failed out after her second year and that put her 4 hours away from me at university.

Despite being in our 20's I drove and she had no license. So she would have to either come see me by public transport or by friend and I would have to drive to see her. She would come when she had time off work and I would mostly see her on weekends as I was in school. We literally started into seperate worlds.

I was a terrible boyfriend so it's easy to see she would get suspicious when I would miss call times etc or not repsond to messages on my answering machine right away. Even when e-mail was introduced to us it didn't help. People don't realize how cell phones connect people so instantly these days with texts, e-mail, calling, and face to face etc.

Soon I was making up reasons why I couldn't drive 4 hours to see her on the weekends or that she couldn't come see me because I was studying. It was the distance that killed it for us. It was not the only thing but it was the first thing that lead to everything else happening because she wasn't right there and I was like a dog when a squirrel ran by.

Long story short, when you are invested and have the means it can work but for the most part even having the means these days is death to it because it's just too easy to stay in touch. There are cell phones, Skype, e-mail, it's easier to stay in touch and transportation like Uber makes it easier to get to each other these days. Unless there is committment to the relationship and effort, it will not work.

I am sure that age and state in life makes a difference too. When you are younger your life is more fluid and there is less permenence to planning. 

Overall, I would say, don't do it.

I changed my mind about talking about the second one. Sorry.

Yeah, it's hard. If you already have plans to be in the same area thought then you've got a good shot.

It can work, as long as there's money for travel everything is good in my experience. I'm at a long distance relationship out of necessity now, gf had to go back to her country after uni so until then we are on the frequent flier programme.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder...but also beware not to enter into a platonic relationship...if you don't meet up after a while for no legit reason you know what's up.

Irishyouwould - Lol, how weird. I have a friend that just took her long distance boyfriend to LaX to travel back to Miami. Dudes a huge Mma fan. Reading this you would think you were him. Lmao. That would of been crazy. Phone Post 3.0
We've done similar trips together. Phone Post 3.0

tommyNOfilter - Been there. Couldn't keep my zipper up for 8 months on several occassions.

But, we are still together after the LD ended
Does she know that u fucked other women? How long has it been since the long distance ended? Phone Post 3.0

Ghetto-Top-Team -


It can work if:



- You both make an effort to communicate every day, or at least several times a week



- You see each other reasonably often



- The LD arrangement is temporary and you'll eventually be in the same location full time

Thats exactly what we're doing. Thank you sir for the positive vibes and support. Phone Post 3.0

Did it once and it was great for me.

She was working on her double masters degree and was kind of a prudish chick.

In the meantime, I banged any strange that crossed my path.

It ended because I figured I would fuck things up at some point.

My girlfriend moved to Jamaica but we are maintaining a long distance relationship. Phone Post 3.0

Met my current (now live in GF) while celebrating my birthday in Vegas. She was celebrating hers too and also lived in Vegas. We hit it off super well and kept in touch. Every couple of weeks we took turns visiting each other (I live in SoCal) and less than a year after we met, she moved out here.

They can work, but there has to be an endgame which is to close the distance one way or the other. For us, it didn't become serious until the decision was made that when her lease was up, she was coming out here. A time frame for that is also important, and I wouldn't give it more than about six months at most. Otherwise, don't bother.

The older I get, the more I understand there is no one path. I had grandparents who lived a long, successful marriage despite sleeping in separate rooms & full disclosure (& acceptance) of his serial mistresses. I have several friends in entertainment that happily manage to juggle long-term, long-distance relationships in several of the towns they frequently play, with varying degrees of forthrightness. I know polyamours with rich, close relationships, & exclusive couples with no intimacy at all. So, "Make your own rules" is my opinion.

With that said, LDRs rarely reach the end of the "best behavior" period that you must get past to truly know a person until the LD part of it goes away. So be careful about that.

My buddy is in one now, going on six months. It works great for him, since he's admitted he gets bored extremely easily and gives up on relationships after the first few weeks. "Gives up" as in completely stops texting, or leaving his couch, or putting on clothes, or giving a shit about the girl at all.

So as it stands he's got his extended honeymoon phase. Sex on the weekends and video games in his underwear all week.

She's got kids. It won't last.

So she's sent you pics?

PROVE IT!

If she's worth dating long distance then it's worth moving closer together IMO. Hence, I would do LD for too long. If she's worth it then one of you should move. Otherwise, move on. Phone Post 3.0