Majorly depressed need some wise words OG

About a year ago I cheated on the person I was currently dating. It was a one time thing but with someone I still have frequent contact with. Last week the truth was slipping out and I decided I couldn't keep the secret from the relationship any longer. Problem is the relationship is now over. with no chance of forgiveness. My number is blocked and I have no way to express how deeply sorry I am and how much I want to fix the relationship no matter how much work it takes.

Since that time I cheated, I have realized this is the person for me. It's not a perfect relationship but I wouldn't have traded it for anything.

I haven't been able to sleep or eat. At work everyone can tell I'm a wreck, I haven't been able to concentrate on training. I just can't pull myself to together. I know I put myself in this situation and can only complain so much but more than anything I hate that I hurt someone who gave me their whole heart. Even if I can't fix the relationship I just want to fix the heartbreak I caused.

Advice?

Move on. Phone Post 3.0

<blockquote>IDOHARM - <span id='userPost51498945' class='User-334506'>Move on. <img src="/images/phone/apple.png" alt="Phone Post 3.0" border="0" style="vertical-align:middle;"/></span></blockquote><br /> That's a tough pill to swallow my friend. Just the thought of giving up so quickly makes me a little sick to my stomach.

It's far more difficult to earn back trust from a woman who has decided to cut off all contact. Once all trust is gone, that woman is probably off your radar.

Spend some time figuring out how to prevent yourself from doing that again. What boundaries you can create, etc. Phone Post 3.0

That is the real bitch about life. Just because you have realized your mistake, it doesn't mean you get a chance to fix them. Not all broken things fit back together. Take what you know and grow as a person and move forward. By trying to hold on to something you fucked up in the past and fix it you are dragging yourself back to that time and all its bullshit. The key to life is letting go and moving forward Phone Post 3.0

Thanks guys.
VUs for all advice.
Its not exactly what I want to hear, but it is what I need. I know the OGers know their shit!

Hand written letter - neat hand writing , kiss ass, explain why your an idot, beg for forgiveness, construct an idea on how it will never happen again and be ready to give up power in the relationship.

Post mark and send it. Phone Post 3.0

Take some time to change your focus, work out, watch new shows, go for a run, anything to keep your mind off it for now. Have fun with friends. In the time your mind is off of it she will either change her mind and give you another chance, or you'll know it's completely done. Either way time is the only thing that can make things better. There are plenty of fish in the sea bro.

There's no relationship anymore, man

Let it go and forget about it. Even if she took you back, she'll always hold it against you in the back of her mind and (in all likelihood) use it against you when she feels like it.

Just accept the fact that you reap what you sow and try to move on as best you can

The loving and trusting relationship you are remembering no longer exists because of your actions. Even if your ex took you back, everything has now changed and is tainted with darkness. Hopefully you learned to stfu in the future when you cheat on the next one. Phone Post 3.0

honestly this is a perfect time to not even worry about relationships or even dating for a few months.

 

do somethings you have wanted to do

 

take a trip somewhere,  take a class on some subject you've wanted to learn about, take up a new hobby, rededicate yoruself to an old hobby.

 

allow yourself to live and learn from this mistake.

http://youtu.be/5wz6Ec8zSvk


 Phone Post 3.0

StrikingMMA - 
mmamba - Thanks guys.
VUs for all advice.
Its not exactly what I want to hear, but it is what I need. I know the OGers know their shit!

If she has cut off any avenue of contact then there isn't much you can do to apologize further. It's probably time to let that go and move on. The other side of the coin is that she walked away without looking back must mean that the relationship doesn't mean as much to her any more. So really it is time to just let it go and move on.

There's an old saying that if you love something then you let it go. If it comes back then it was meant to be. Maybe this is the case eventually here and maybe not. Either way your only path is to move forward and let her decide if she wants to try again. Don't contact her about it any more.

Now is the time to focus on yourself and learning to be a better person. Being alone for a while isn't always a bad thing. Maybe something better will drop into your life eventually. Too often we look at the one we lost and idolize them. Something better may be out there instead.

Keep a positive attitude and just focus on being a better man now.

Well said. Thank you

This community/forum members really are awesome!

Bought a blue so I could vote all you awesome fuckers up!

Another problem was me and her were so obsessed with each other I lost touch with a lot of past friends. I'm not trying to be that person who show's back up when hurting or needing something. Just getting advice from you guys has helped a lot.

 

Will also add some pics as an additional thank you when I'm home!

If it makes you feel better, she probably also cheated on you and is just using your dalliance as an excuse to move on.

Still, if you love her, keep trying to get her back.Once the initial pain and anger wears off, if she hasn't found someone she likes better, you might have a chance. Also, even if you admitted to doing something bad, start denying it now and pretend you have no recollection of admitting anything.

mmamba - About a year ago I cheated on the person I was currently dating. It was a one time thing but with someone I still have frequent contact with. Last week the truth was slipping out and I decided I couldn't keep the secret from the relationship any longer. Problem is the relationship is now over. with no chance of forgiveness. My number is blocked and I have no way to express how deeply sorry I am and how much I want to fix the relationship no matter how much work it takes.

Since that time I cheated, I have realized this is the person for me. It's not a perfect relationship but I wouldn't have traded it for anything.

I haven't been able to sleep or eat. At work everyone can tell I'm a wreck, I haven't been able to concentrate on training. I just can't pull myself to together. I know I put myself in this situation and can only complain so much but more than anything I hate that I hurt someone who gave me their whole heart. Even if I can't fix the relationship I just want to fix the heartbreak I caused.

Advice?
Go through the 5 stages of grief. If she was the one for you, you wouldn't have cheated. This tells me, in particular, you're experiencing complicated grief (Google it, too hard to explain typing on a phone).

I don't condone cheating but I also believe in forgiveness and the truth is, the only person you can forgive now is yourself for having made the mistake. Phone Post 3.0

sadic1 - If it makes you feel better, she probably also cheated on you and is just using your dalliance as an excuse to move on.

Still, if you love her, keep trying to get her back.Once the initial pain and anger wears off, if she hasn't found someone she likes better, you might have a chance. Also, even if you admitted to doing something bad, start denying it now and pretend you have no recollection of admitting anything.


Not your normal posting style.  I lol'd.

Who the fuck confesses to cheating? Phone Post 3.0

mmamba - Thanks guys.
VUs for all advice.
Its not exactly what I want to hear, but it is what I need. I know the OGers know their shit!
You make decisions like you did, because you aren't ready to settle down. You may think you are, but most likely not.

Give it time. Hang out with your friends. Get back into a hobby you have slacked off on.

You go through these things to learn. Understand the lesson being taught and move on. Good luck Phone Post 3.0

I'm going to go against the grain on this one, might get me torched. But it's my answer as of today:

You cheated a while ago and you sound like you've learned from it, that's excellent. Right now speaking to her probably wouldn't help because she's probably a mess. Give her a week or two total, then go to any avenue necessary to speak with her if you still can't eat, sleep, etc. If it's really that important to you write a letter in the mail, create a new email address to contact her, go to her house, be that psycho mother fucker that's in love and tries to get the girl he feels he's destined to be with. If she's truly worth it of course. Sometimes time heals bad shit, she's angry right now so you're not going to get her anywhere.

Tell her you wanted to give her some time to process things and then you were going to go to any length to try and get her back. Kiss her ass, send her flowers, tell her you love her a zillion times, do whatever. I'm a king of fucking shit up with girls sometimes, and this stuff can work or it might not. If it doesn't work then you take the advice of everyone else.

Oh, and call your boys to talk to in real life. It doesn't matter that you lost contact because of a girl, we're guys and we're there for our boys no matter what. We're not caddy like women can be. So it doesn't matter. A friend called me last month that lives across the country, we haven't spoke in several years because he moved away a girl. And now I might fly to San Fran next month to watch WSOF with him. Because he's my boy and sometimes we do dumb shit when we fall in love. He never betrayed me, so I'd love to hang with him for a weekend.

Hope this helped.

Good luck dude.