Making A Wooden Jack-O-Lantern For My Daughter

Peace, my friend, I turn all the holy night in light of the pumpkin and the home front. One side is a afraid face, and the other is funny inside. It is made of wood with a wooden deck inside, and an artificial bar at the top to serve as a lever to turn on and off the light. She asked me to do this throughout all of the martyr's work, and I also provided a training movie about how to do that in another industry. She is very happy when she saw her, turns off all the lights and continues to be salon, working as a disco ball, binds a big dental teeth and takes on the ceiling that his love had taken. What you do?

Fuck me, I am bored.  I need to get out.

I ran this through a translator a few times: 

"hello my friends.  I am making a Halloween jack-o-lantern for my daughter, with two different faces on the front and back.  One side is a scary face and one side is a funny face, in case the scary face scares her.  This is made out of wood and will have a strobe light inside as well as a fake stem on top to act as a handle for turning the light on and off.  This is something she requested that I make for halloween and I also shared an instructional video on how to make it in an another thread.  She was very happy when she saw it, we turned all the lights off and danced in the living room with the strobe light acting as a disco ball, casting big scary teeth on the ceiling, which she really enjoyed.  What are you making for your kids for Halloween?"

I translated it to Russian, then into Polish, then Hebrew.  

If I am ever single again and need to do some online dating I am going to do this for my profile and all subsequent communications with women, then sit back and watch the confusion when we meet.