Might make drastic life changes... OG approves?

FRAT... I’ll write a summery at the bottom. 

 

I moved to the north ga mountains straight out of high school in 1997. I moved to get away from Atlanta and bad decisions I was making. (Drugs and young dumb stuff). I dropped out of college and bought into a bar/restaurant in 1999.  Did well, got married, had kids, house, etc... had a great decade.  

 

Here comes 2010. Divorce. Sold the restaurant in a divorce/custody battle.  Lost everything. Gave it away in hindsight. But fought hard for my kids for 3 years. Brutal custody battle. Lost that (gave in actually) in 2014. 

 

My ex moved about 2 hours away the middle of this year. She’s in a great situation with a great guy.  She’s also a great mom. (Some would say she’s not because of the way she dealt with me, but outside of that, she’s awesome with the kids)

 

I’ve struggled financially here. I do electrical work and tend bar on the weekends. I make more tending bar than I do through the week. I’m also tired of the service industry. 

 

Im living with a woman who’s great to me.  But I’m not ok seeing my kids once a month for hours at a time. I’m not happy.  I thought I’d get used to the schedule and the changes. My kids are happy. (My daughter misses me a lot, my son completely fine).  I feel like I’m making the biggest mistake of my life not following them. 

 

So, my choice is. Stay here and build a life with this woman or follow my kids. 

 

 

FRAT Should I follow my kids to another city?

Follow your bliss.

Shave your balls.

I guess just do what your gut tells you, hindsight is always 20/20

Putting myself into your situation; I would follow my kids. My $.02

Many kids grow up and move away from their parents. Only to be seen on holidays. Your kids should be about old enough to drive 1/2 way to meet you. If they don't, let them grow and move away like so many others and be happy to see them on the holidays.

-hang on the your new lady friend.

Follow your kids. You don’t get a do-over on this. 

You say you've struggled financially.

Fixing this should be your priority. It sets the proper example for your kids and ultimately allows you to take better care of them.

Preemptively, I will say there is a huge difference between neglecting your kids because you are a workaholic and just want to become richer for the sake of being richer. You aren't in that boat.

You need to set yourself up to help your kids and yourself, because once they become young adults they will be too focused on building their life up to save your sorry ass.

Are you a journeyman electrician?

CyberPunk - You say you've struggled financially.

Fixing this should be your priority. It sets the proper example for your kids and ultimately allows you to take better care of them.

Preemptively, I will say there is a huge difference between neglecting your kids because you are a workaholic and just want to become richer for the sake of being richer. You aren't in that boat.

You need to set yourself up to help your kids and yourself, because once they become young adults they will be too focused on building their life up to save your sorry ass.

I didn’t want to FRAT too much. But this is my other real struggle now. I was really successful in my twenties. I’ve learned to be “poor”. I’m not poor, but I live poor by my standards. I did that because I could still go to my kids practices and eat lunch with them at school and that kind of thing. 

 

All the sudden I’m not happy being poor.  If I can’t have my kids I want something for myself. I feel like an asshole for I. Like I owe my girlfriend and her son my life and dedication now. But something is missing. It’s my kids. I know that. 

 

I know I can’t waste her time. I feel like I have to make a choice quickly. 

 

I also know what it would mean to my children for me to have the means to help them along in early adult life. 

 

I’m honestly thinking about moving closer to them and just focusing on a career. Maybe not getting anymore time with them. But the same amount and buiding something for the future with them. 

King Trav - Are you a journeyman electrician?

There aren’t any unions around here. It’s a 10-15 dollar an hour job. And if I stuck with it and got a license in a couple years it would be really hard to get in with contractors. It’s the good ol boy system. Rural GA 

MMA Playwright - Shave your balls.

Done. I like my balls licked and sucked. So I keep them pristine.  

Pumpkin Spice Lazarus -

Follow your bliss.

I took this as an OG smartass post at first. 

 

But it makes sense now. I wouldn’t use the word “bliss” to describe my kids. But there is no bliss without them. 

When my kid spends a week at his grandparents (or longer in the summer) I go into a depression. I dont know how you do it brother. My mom remarried and moved us across the country when I was 9 and I didnt see my dad for years. It really sucked but nowadays you have facetime and texting to keep up to date and communicate. 

The only advice I have to give is what my stepfather told me - Never let a job dictate where you want to live and who you want to be with . You can always find work of some sort,

Good luck with your decision. You are definitely in a tought spot.

TTT for maybe a couple more opinions