Morality on the Mat

I was thinking about the Chitterling troll,and trying to figure out how this thing might go if it was a real situation.I know it depends on the school,state...a whole lot of stuff,but this isn't the only situation that causes people to have to make a decision.I for one being married chose not to roll with a particular hot girl in no-gi.My only reason is that I think my wife might have a problem with it.I wouldn't know because I never have brought it up,at home or at training.I haven't made a public statement about it,I just seem to always find a way to work around it.The point is she is a great fighter and I have no reason to discriminate.If I had to be honest I'm probably in the wrong.I was just wondering if any of you have had similar experience,or have been in a situation that caused you to make a decision based on something other than skill level?

If she is hot and you didnt roll with her i think its time for U to come out

...well played

And if she is hotter then your wife you should commit suicide

Well i dont practice MAs but I think i can still contribute to the discussion.

I think that you should do what you are comfortable with. It sounds like you hold her in high regard and respect her so this isnt discrimination in any way. This is about your boundaries and respecting your wife. I think you are doing the right thing.

If more people in the world were honest about their boundaries and simply stood fast to them... the world would be a better place.

You are doing the right thing.

boot

jw what is an ultimoplata? some sort of 10th Planet non sense?

..if you start from mission control....yea, uh never mind Eddie would have to explain it

lol

Insecurity has nothing to do with it.We all have boundary's and personal convictions.I didn't ask for a soap box speech about my personal decision.I really wanted to know who else has been in the type of situation that caused them to make a choice based on anything other than skill level.

There was a kinda ugly asian chick in my jiu jitsu class, and I made sure to get a boner when we rolled since I figured noone else wood.

I rolled with a homo just last week. Gay or not, that girl was strong! She was buff, not manly-looking, and smelled like sugar cookies. Best roll EVER! It was heavenly. She was even nice enough to point out the blonde hairs in my goatee when we were done. My (brunette) wife probably woulda hated seeing those.

theres a very good looking girl in my judo class and i randori with her same as anyone else. I evaluated the situation thoroughly before class one day and decided that if she chooses to randori or newaza with me then I would think I would be offending her and taking away from her learning experience by toning it down or treating her differently. Train with the girl whether she is hot or not. On the mat she is just another grappler. Believe me if given the chance she would choke you the fuck out or slam you on your head. Don't insult her because your wife owns your life so much that you can't wrestle in a non-sexual way with a female training partner.

p.s. I have a fiance and this is all discussed openly with her and she's never so much as done a double take on this topic. It's called trust, ethics, and professionalism buddy.

Your Arsonist - p.s. I have a fiance and this is all discussed openly with her and she's never so much as done a double take on this topic. It's called trust, ethics, and professionalism buddy.

I love that given a chance you just happens to have an opinion on how I can better my relationship and life in general with YOUR help.Still missing the point.I didn't ask for nor want your opinion on me or my relationship with my wife.Im an adult and am ok making decisions without consulting the likes of"your arsonist".Read the post and make a comment about you,not filtered through your opinion of my choice."Its called trust,ethics,and professionalism",stand down captain America your not running for office just talking about rolling.By the way I'm not her teacher,just another fighter there to train along with the other dozens of people.My choice doesn't hinder her in the least.

J-LauFan1 - if i was your wife i would have a problem with how insecure you thought i was


He actually has a great point. It is all about security. If she is uncomfy with you rolling with this girl its because of insecurities. Not really a bad thing, it just means she really loves you if you want to look at it from an optimistic perspective.

Here's an interesting question. Would you be secure enough for your wife to start coming to bjj classes and rolling with all the guys in the class? What if you werent there?

Just some food for thought

The TS is the one sporting issues, not his wife, or anyone else. More than likely it's an ego issue. No one wants to get tapped by a girl. Especially a hot one.

If you had a secure relationship with your wife, she wouldn't care who you rolled with. You are the one making a big deal out of it by NOT rolling with the girl. You haven't even given your wife the chance to trust you... that says more about you than her.

i stopped rolling with the smelly kid. as far as i can tell he's asexual.

I have not problem rolling with hot girls and i don't think my wife has a problem with it either. It is a completely non-sexual thing, so your wife and you shouldn't really have a problem with it.

I had no idea you guys would go Dr. Phil on me,all I can say is that this is def not a security issue.Thanks for trying to share your point of view,but sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.By the way,I will do technique training with her,just not rolling.I shouldn't have to mention this because I really didn't want this to be about me,but it really has a lot to do with me being a Pastor.I don't want to set myself up for ANYONE to get the wrong idea.Until you have been in my position you have no idea how harshly people can judge you,especially those that are older and have no grasp of what BJJ is.I'm still waiting for you Jr. psychologists to share a story about your decisions.

ultimoplata - I had no idea you guys would go Dr. Phil on me,all I can say is that this is def not a security issue.Thanks for trying to share your point of view,but sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.By the way,I will do technique training with her,just not rolling.I shouldn't have to mention this because I really didn't want this to be about me,but it really has a lot to do with me being a Pastor.I don't want to set myself up for ANYONE to get the wrong idea.Until you have been in my position you have no idea how harshly people can judge you,especially those that are older and have no grasp of what BJJ is.I'm still waiting for you Jr. psychologists to share a story about your decisions.



Not too sure what the distinction would be between rolling and just doing drills/technique. The initial issue for you was physical contact with a hot chick that might upset your wife, no? Or that people might get the wrong idea if you are pastor, that makes a little more sense, but the physical contact is going to happen whether you are drilling or rolling.... Your wife shouldn't care and neither should you, its a sport. The issue in all of these stories comes down to what many people have already stated, that its a sport/training and sexual thoughts shouldn't be occouring whether you are gay or straight. How sexually repressed do you have to be to associate training with sex?

If you are going to offer up a story you should be prepared for people to ask you questions about it and comment on it...

The only people I avoid rolling with are the ones who don't trim their nails. That shit is annoying.