Possible FRAT warning......
Once of the things I love about BJJ and especially my club is that once we throw the gi on, we are all equals. At my gym we have doctors, teachers, police officers, firemen, bartenders, electricians, plumbers, salesmen, students, you get the point. And as I said, on the mat, we are all peers.
I've been training for 6 years or so now, and am a particularly ordinary purple, but that probably has very little to do with my dilemma. Except that as one of the senior students our instructor does tend to take on board or even at times seek my opinion on a bunch of things.
The problem I face is that a new dude lobbed in to the gym tonight, and I happen to know for fact that he's a dealer. And has a bit of heat on him at the moment. Personally, as a father with young kids I despise people like this dude in my local community. I would much rather not train with him, or associate or be associated with him in any way. Knowing most of the boys at my gym fairly well, many would feel the same.
The dilemma is this. Do I raise my concerns with my teacher, or keep my own personal values out of the equation, and treat him the same as all of the other guys on the mat? Basically, mind my own business. Don't get me wrong, I am far from perfect myself, but with plenty of other fathers on the mat, as well as cops and the like, I am fairly sure I wouldn't be the only one with the same opinion.
Any ideas, suggestions or anecdotes from people who have seen a similar situation arise would be appreciated.
If he is still on the mat after the instructor knows the whole deal with the guy then he may be trying to change things up and trying to turn himself around.
If he doesn't know about this guy, let your instructor know and see how he handles it.
Thats a tough one. I have a bad record from what seems like a past life. It would have been really disappointing had someone threw me out of the gym. I too am a father and so i know where you are coming from.
i say as long as he doesnt bring any bs to the school and is humble enough to learn then dont worry about it. I wouldnt even bother telling the instructor unless the guy is bringing personal shit into the gym.
for me it would depend on what kind of dealer..
is it joe blow pot dealer just making a living or Mr. Meth?
I know plenty of people who do things that are considered illegal that don't harm anyone other than the willing participant adults involved.
depends if they had the chronic or not. if they had some shwag then yea i'd def give them the boot.
if it was coke, herion or whatever, i would suggest privates, he can afford them.
Tell your instructor. Drug dealers are shit-magnets, and if some serious dudes all of a sudden decide to shoot him for ripping them off/not paying his debt, the gym will be an obvious place to look for him if they know that he trains. I don't know what degree of shadiness this guy is involved in, but if I ran a gym, I'd like to know about things that could potentially be bad for business or the well-being of my students.
allchokedup - I wouldnt even bother telling the instructor unless the guy is bringing personal shit into the gym.
I disagree. I know if one of my older students knew something about the new guy, especially if he was a drug dealer, gangster, etc. I would really appreciate some notification. It may not necessarily warrant an instant ban, but I would be more cautious about the guy in general and talk to them. As someone looking out for the safety of their older students, younger students, safety of their business, and keeping an eye out on the new guy I wouldn't keep something like that for later.
The instructor needs to know. He can sit down and tell the guy he's heard stuff and what he's heard. He can train there as long as he doesn't live that life any more, but if his trash comes in the gym then it's over.
What about the Doctor that performs abortions? Or the Attorney that represents Drug Cartels? The Stock Broker/ Hedge fund manager that bilks people out of their retirement? Slum Lords?
You started this by saying that on the mat, everyone is equal. Does he sell drugs at the school? Did he run in to hide with the cops hot on his tail?
Leave the outside, outside. Everyone is there to train. As long as they are respectful, follow the rules, and don't bring their personal lives through the door, no one else on the mat is any better or worse, on the mat.
Chango
I don't think a street level dealer is the same as the above.
First of all, i wouldn't teach street trash like him. Second of all, if I was a parent and knew you had people of his ilk in your school, i would remove my kids and tell as many people as I know.
I find it funny that BJJ instructors seem to have shady sides to htem. IT is not too surprising when a lot of them seem to have have loose connections to the porn industry criminals, and the such.
It si smy house and i will keep it clean whichever way I know how.
gumby1 -and I happen to know for fact that he's a dealer.
of what?
man i was definalty not the person i am today when i started BJJ. My coach has seen many people come and go and is a good judge of charater. He has taught me alot about life through BJJ. If he had looked into my past i dont think he would have handled it any different. He is not there to judge us. If we are open to learn he is there to teach us the way. If not we will not last long. My coach was hard on me when i first started there and imo he roughed me up a few times. It was needed now that i look back.
There will always be undesirable people in the community outside of BJJ. Would you not want the person trying to do things to better themselves? Or instead shun them away and hope you dont have to come across them again in life?
I am very thankful to my coach for giving the opportunity
for me to learn from him. It has truly been a life changing experience.
I have been locked up for a few years of my life. I have 4 sons now that i lead by example.I had i rough as a kid with no dad and i was real pos untill i was around 25 yrs old. People from my gym,other than my coach do not know this about me nor would they ever suspect it.
You think having a degree in some specialty makes one a "good person" ? Or because you are a cop? come on get real!!!
There is a difference between letting the instructor know and kicking the guy out. "Keeping it to yourself" is not the right thing to do. I'm not for spreading anyones info out in the open, but telling the instructor/owner is the right decision.
ChangoBravo - What about the Doctor that performs abortions? Or the Attorney that represents Drug Cartels? The Stock Broker/ Hedge fund manager that bilks people out of their retirement? Slum Lords?
You started this by saying that on the mat, everyone is equal. Does he sell drugs at the school? Did he run in to hide with the cops hot on his tail?
Leave the outside, outside. Everyone is there to train. As long as they are respectful, follow the rules, and don't bring their personal lives through the door, no one else on the mat is any better or worse, on the mat.
Chango
^ This monkey makes very good sense! Perfectly stated, Senor.
You should let the owner know; it's their call.
Judo Scott - for me it would depend on what kind of dealer..
is it joe blow pot dealer just making a living or Mr. Meth?
I know plenty of people who do things that are considered illegal that don't harm anyone other than the willing participant adults involved.
Yep. Pot is pretty much legal in some states. But harder stuff may have problems close behind.
alcohol is legal in all states. You are a good person if your drug of choice is legal?
So is this about morals and integrity or what is legal as far as the just-us system?
I personally think drugs should be legal, but as long as they're outlawed it brings crime and other bad stuff. Take prohibition for instance. I like Chango's perspective, but I don't think it is very practical. If a guy is dealing and deals bad stuff, that element is gonna care where he is when they come looking. You COULD (not definitely) be bringing bad stuff into the academy.
Your choice really.
But if you're going on a moral crusade, make sure you have a moral backbone yourself.
If you decide to tell your instructor and expect him to ask the guy to leave, but you are not prepared to leave the gym yourself if he doesn't ask the guy to leave, that calls your own moral compass into question. You would be expecting the instructor to take a high road you wouldn't take yourself.
Not saying it's easy or clear cut. We all like to think we'd do the right thing in a situation, but it's impossible to know for sure until you're there.
Then again, a very good seminar instructor once showed us some techniques he learned from a guy in Brazil who everyone at the gym in Brazil said was supposed to be a hitman.