More military jokes

While I don't necessarily subscribe to the punch line, this joke is damn funny, IMHO...

An Army Colonel has a heart attack and dies the day after his retirement, and wakes up in line by the pearly gates. He is standing behind a rabbi and a Catholic priest to talk to St. Peter and try to get into heaven.

First the rabbi walks up to St. Peter. St. Peter asks for his name, then looks in a big book. He says "Well Rabbi, you did this, and this, and this...Sorry, you're outta here!" With that St. Peter reaches down, pulls a lever, and the rabbi is dropped screaming through the ground, presumably on his way to hell.

The colonel sees all this, and starts to sweat. He knows that he was no holy man, but decides to see what happens to the priest before really panicking, since he is Catholic too.

The priest then walks up to St Peter and states his name. St. Peter flips open the book, frowns, and says "Look at that, and that, and that...uh-uh, no way. Goodbye!" With that, St Peter pulls the lever and sends the priest on the long ride down.

Now the colonel is really sweating, because he knows he is hosed. He walks up to St. Peter resigned to his fate, and states his name.

St. Peter then flips open the book, scans down the page, smiles and says "Go right in colonel!"

The colonel is so shocked and relieved he can hardly believe his ears, but he knows how he lived and asks "How can a soldier like me get in when I just saw two holy men sent to hell?"

St. Peter just gives the colonel a big wink and says, "What goes on TDY, stays on TDY!"

I was going to revive my old thread, but this one will work.

A CRUSTY OLD MARINE CORPS COLONEL FOUND HIMSELF AT A GALA EVENT, HOSTED BY A LOCAL LIBERAL ARTS COLLEGE. THERE WAS NO SHORTAGE OF EXTREMELY YOUNG, IDEALISTIC LADIES IN ATTENDANCE AND ONE OF THEM APPROACHED THE COLONEL FOR CONVERSATION.

"EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT YOU SEEM TO BE A VERY SERIOUS MAN. ARE YOU THIS WAY ALL THE TIME, OR IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU?" SHE ASKED. "NO," THE COLONEL SAID, "JUST SERIOUS BY NATURE!"

THE YOUNG LADY LOOKED AT HIS AWARDS AND DECORATIONS, AND SAID, "IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE SEEN A LOT OF ACTION." THE COLONEL'S SHORT REPLY WAS, "YES, A LOT OF ACTION."

THE YOUNG LADY, TIRING OF TRYING TO START UP A CONVERSATION, SAID, "YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD LIGHTEN UP A LITTLE. RELAX AND ENJOY YOURSELF." THE COLONEL JUST STARED AT HER IN HIS SERIOUS MANNER.

FINALLY THE YOUNG LADY SAID, "YOU KNOW, I HOPE YOU DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY, BUT WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD SEX?"
THE COLONEL LOOKED AT HER AND REPLIED, "1955."

SHE SAID, "WELL THERE YOU GO, YOU REALLY NEED TO CHILL OUT AND QUIT TAKING EVERYTHING SO SERIOUSLY......I MEAN, NO SEX SINCE 1955, ISN'T THAT LITTLE EXTREME?"

THE COLONEL, GLANCING AT HIS WATCH, SAID IN HIS MATTER-OF-FACT VOICE, "OH, IDON'T KNOW. IT'S ONLY 2130 NOW."

FUNNY!

What is TDY?

Holy shit at reviving a 17 year old thread with only 3 posts!

Since you asked, TDY is temporary duty travel. Basically you go on temporary duty somewhere other than your main duty

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TDY means a short period of trying to get as drunk as possible without missing crew show time the next morning.

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