Mr Blauer Please read...

Friends,
In order for me to fully understand "MYSELF" I must ask these questions. In doing so, I hope that all who read this thread will learn something or maybe prevent something like from happening!

When I was a child, around 6 years old I had lost my father due to hepatitis. About 1½
Years later my mother past away due to cirrhosis of the liver. From this point I was adopted, twice. The first family that had adopted me had 3 sons. Unfortunately I was molested by 2 of the sons. During each session of molestation that had taken place I can remember how chaotic all of the emotions and thoughts were at that time.
I felt fear, hopeless, anger, confusion, along with a billion other emotions.. I was overwhelmed with the whole situation and the emotions.
The 2nd time I was adopted I endured a different type of abuse. At this time it was the late 60's early 70's. I was about 9 years old. The family that adopted me was a family of 6, 3 boys, 1girl, and their mom and dad. The oldest boy for did not want me in the family. At night I would be awaken to excruciating pain, the oldest boy would wake up in the middle of the night and punch me in the face then jump back into his bed like nothing happened. I would be placed on a chair that could spin 360deg, the oldest boy again would have all of the other children stand around the chair.
He then would then spin the chair, whomever the chair stopped in front of had to punch me in the face if they did not then they would be the focus of the beating. I have been put on top of a space heater (a gas heater) the heater would be turned ou to the highest setting.
I would be placed on top of it when I jumped off I would get a punch in the face and be thrown back on. I have been stabbed with pencils, screwdrivers, and knives. I never felt like I had a chance emotionally or physically.What bothers me the most was, I DID NOTHING!
Until I was about 16 years old. One day I "SNAPED"! Someone in school got me into a bear hug from behind, I remember my peripheral vision was going bye, bye. I could see my vision going like "tunnel vision" my head went limp and I could see only one thing a bare foot. I can remember like it was yesterday, I mustered every bit of energy and STOMPED on the foot as hard as I could. I broke his foot and a few toes, Next thing I knew I was free.
(The next part I do not remember), apparently I had dragged the kid that had me in the bear hug over to a corrugated block wall and begun to rake his face up and down the wall. I regret it now but I disfigured him for the rest of his life.
My whole point here is....
What about children, adolescents, or teenagers? At a young age MOST of us have not
Had to many "REAL" experiences with emotions other than being angry with someone because they broke my slinky. Or afraid that when "Mom or Dad comes home I'm gonna
Get it." Now at a young age when you DO enter a situation that is extremely "EMONITIAL" there is a sensory overload. Mass confusion, FEAR, Horror!
At a young age a bad situation itself is traumatizing' couple this with ALL of the
EMOTIONAL (mental), CHEMICAL and, sensory things going on, HOW can a child or teenager learn to recognize, address, or comprehend this? Most adults have a hard time understanding the "MENTAL EDGE" how can someone apply this information in the upbringing of a child. I have a 2 year old daughter and would like her to understand HER mind some day.

By the way the posts in the thread "1st question"
Is what got me thinking about this subject.

George

George,

I'm sure that Coach would like to address this when
has the opportunity, but for now i would like to
identify the courage and strength that it took to
firstly survive your childhood and secondly, to post it
here in the "Mental Edge". You possess great 'Warrior
Spirit' and the fact that you want your daughter to
learn from your experiences acknowledges this.

I know that Tony has experience in this area as he has
talked openly about his training with his two children.
So i'll let him deal with the specifics here. However i
would like to suggest that you pick up two books
written by Gavin De Becker. The first is the "Gift of
Fear", which looks at the 'Pre-incident Indicators' of
specific behaviors. The second and most recent is
"Protecting the Gift" which deals with FEAR and our
children.

The only other advice that i can offer is to continue
your research in this field, educate your children on
what FEAR really is, how to identify it and how to
overcome it as well as to always be there for them.
They are the most precious of gifts that anyone can
receive and no matter the size of the problem they
encounter, parental guidance means the world to them
and to a good parent as well.

I tip my hat to you my friend!!

Take Care and Good Luck!

Sean

Sean,
Growing up was.. "DIFFERENT" to say the least. My childhood is why I started MA training. The "ego-infested" systems are what turned me off.

Hopefully someone might read the post and it may possibly prevent something or educate someone.

Thank you for the book recommendation, I will pick them up.

I have received the BYOB package today. I can't stop there is so much info. Would have been nice to have 30 years ago!

I have partaken in this journey because I feel that out of everything that I keep seeing reading hearing makes so much sense. Anyone would have to be pretty ignorant or stupid
to look away from what Mr. Blauer is offering.
THIS IS POWERFUL SHIT!!

No matter how bad things get or how bad things have been in the past, someone somewhere is living or has lived much worse.

Enjoy Life and Take Care,
George

I have already introduced her to some kicks,
and slaps. How and when are the mental "tools" introduced?

George

ttt

George,
Teaching SD to kids is what I have been doing for the past 3 years or so. It is hard to balance their need for having fun with my desire to help them keep themselves safe. They depend so heavily on others to keep them safe that I think they don't realize the importance until it is too late.(Don't we all) The reason I am interested in Tony's research is to do a better job with the kids. He has a lot to offer, but the challenge remains how to get it through to kids.
There is a lot of research out there regarding the myths of "stranger danger" and kid safety, but I don't know of any comprehensive systems for kid safety like Tony offers. I am working on it though. I think parents hold most of the responsibility when it comes to kid safety, but when that relationship goes sour, where can the kid turn and how do I teach that to kids with their parents sitting in the same room. The curriculum I teach now includes the parents all the way through so they can be better educated also.
You can contact the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) for free info on helping keep kids safe.

Peace,

Mike Galu

Great Post Mike!

George,

Again, i believe that Coach Blauer will address some of
the specifics here, but if you've already listened to
the "Cerebral Self Defense" audio, you probably have
some idea's kicking around already.

Personally, i believe that as soon as our children
acquire an understanding of things, they should be
taught 'FEAR Management' skills. Why? Because i believe
that Psychological FEARS are developed through negative
experiences and not genetically as others have
professed. Being a father yourself, you have probably
observed that once a child begins to crawl , they are
climbing objects, regardless of the height and into
things, regardless of the size. Once they begin to walk
they are constantly falling and isn't untill they
actually fall, hurting themselves or are stuck in an
object, that they become hesitant in trying that again.
If you begin to coach the child on how to identify and
address the psychological FEARs, i believe that you can
eliminate alot of the FEARs that we had grown up with,
without this knowledge.

I also believe that a child should be made aware of
how 'Biological FEAR' affects thier bodies, normal
reaction as the body prepares for adventure, so that
they can use this positively instead of viewing it in a
negative manner.Again, this is explained in much
greater detail on the "Cerebral" audio and in the
"ABC's of a Streetfight" video. Tony will most likely
expand on this as well.

Finally, once you begin to establish this base, i
believe that you will be able to aplly the TCMS
"Performance Enhancement Psychology" tools to help
build confidence and solid skills in your child.

I hope that some of this helps, keeping in mind that
these are suggestions and observations i have made
based on personal experiences and my involvement with
TCMS. I'm sure that Tony will either correct me if i'm
off track or expand some of these ideas.

Stay Safe and Train Hard!

Sean

Mr. Galu,

Thank you for responding and for your advice.
I believe that the process of teaching a child/teenager is different than re-training an adult.
As you have mentioned "It is hard to balance their need for having fun with desire to help them keep themselves safe" I agree. From all of the information that I have on Mr. Blauer's teachings, I KNOW how valuable it is for an adult. Just think how much it would help all children if they grew up with his information... they would have a much better shot of growing up a better human being. I think that for children, the answer may lie in the education of the parents.
One would think if the parents were educated in Mr. Blauer's TCMS philosophies, the CERBRAL Self-defense, that it can be incorporated in the up bringing of the child. Just as the adult in most cases would have to be RE-PROGRAMED to change the thought process, a child could learn from the start. Just think of the possibilities of being brought up to "think" correctly. Imagine if people in child services were to incorporate the teachings of Mr. Blauer. Just think!

Extreme Justice,
Thank You, You have articulated my thoughts 100%.
I think you have hit the nail on the head.
As I mentioned previously, imagine the possibilities!
I have the BYOB package. All of the information has endless possibilities. I am searching for some insight on incorporating the "Cerebral" into my daughter's life as she grows. I would not want to do this incorrectly
It could be catastrophic if done incorrectly

Again thanks for responding.Both of your thoughts
They are greatly appreciated.
George

ttt

i say write a book!

Great stuff.

Mike there are a couple of PDR memebers with special interest in creating a cohesive children's package.

I am really looking forward to seeing the synergy that will result when all of you finally get togehter!

Tony