My ace fight that I done, repost.

Hahahaha, I can't stop fuckin' laughin'! I'm at me mate Posh Bloke Brian's house in Glasgow (that's fuckin' "Glasscow" for any yanks readin' this) an' we just had a fuckin' hysterical fight w'some junior twatfaces-in-trainin' a few minutes ago.

I come up on the train today from London, mate, 'cos I got the next few days off o'me work an' I left one o'them non-arab blokes in charge at me gym. Hopefully it in't fuckin' burned down when I get back. Anyway, after I had TWO blankety blanks on the train I were fuckin' hungry, mate, so I made Posh Bloke Brian show me where I could get pizza an' a kebab. So we're walkin' home an' Brian the fat bastard is eatin' his pizza out the box 'cos he's one o'them fat blokes what's always fuckin' eatin', an' some little fuckin' twats in kappa tracksuits what have been sittin' on the steps o'some buildin' come walkin' towards us. I'm tryin' not t'fuckin' laugh at their poofter kappa gear 'cos I just wants t'eat me kebab an' pizza, mate, but I can't fuckin' help meself when one o'them stupid midgets (Brian says they call those poofs "neds" in Glasgow, mate) shouts out "we're the pizza robbers!" in some really stupid-soundin' high voice.

Honestly mate, if I weren't holdin' me pizza I would have done a flyin' kick like Cantona right then an' fuckin' there, but instead I just says "what's the matter mate, did y'mam spend all y'money f'food on a fuckin' widescreen? That's the flaw in the benefit system, mate. Anyway, it's one o'them Teenage Mutant Turtle pizzas an' it's got marshmallows an' smarties on it, I doubt y'd like it."

I dunno if this twat even understood what I were sayin', lads, but the next fuckin' thing I know he shouts "FUCK OFF YOU STUPID ENGLISH TWAT" or some other bollocks an' starts runnin' t'wards me. I had me pizza an' kebab box in me hands, mate, so all I could do were one o'them karate front kicks, an' I am shite at kickin'. It decked him all the same, though, an' he falls back on his fuckin' arse. His mates were about t'catch up, though, so I knew it weren't gonna be over that easy. Posh Brian finally stops fuckin' eatin' an' puts his pizza down on top o'one o'them bins an' shouts at them little ned poofs that they can have their fuckin' go if they want. Brian's got that low self-esteem like Joe Riggs, mate, so he don't care if he beats up teenagers. That's English public schools for ya, in't it?

As I were sayin', the bender I floored w'me karate kick starts t'get up. I drops me pizza down on the ground (it's still in the box, mate, so it never got dirty, I am eatin' it now an' I in't thrown up or fainted yet) an' waves him on. He screams out some bollocks that I couldn't even fuckin' understand an' makes me laugh again, then tries t'kick me in the fuckin' knackers, the dirty bugger! I were right annoyed 'cos he grazed the boys in the barracks a bit an' it hurt like fuck. I were so fuckin' angry that I done what I does t'me cousin Billy (the mental special needs one) an' picks him up off the ground an' gives him a fuckin' WWF bodyslam, right on the fuckin' concrete.

Now, when I does that t'Billy it's usually on grass or the carpet in me livin' room 'cos I don't want t'give him worse braindamage, mate, but this time it were on the fuckin' street. Honestly, I in't never heard even them mad birds y'see tryin' t'start fights outside nightclubs scream that loud. He were screamin' so loud that everyone on the fuckin' street stops an' starts watchin'! I were right fuckin' embarrassed, mate, 'cos this twat is throwin' a wobbler an' thrashin' around. His mates are all just standin' there like a bunch o'students what's found out there in't gonna be no Glastonbury this year, they looked like they was about t'start fuckin' cryin'.

I comes t'me fuckin' senses when Posh Brian picks up his pizza an' starts runnin' away in the direction o'his flat (which is also posh, obviously) an' shouts at me t'hurry up an' fuck off. I were just standin' there an' starin' at little crippled Ned boy, who were still goin' "AHHHHHH!! AHHHH!!! FUCK!!!" on the fuckin' ground infront o'me, mate. Luckily I had enough presence o'mind t'grab me fuckin' pizza b'fore I fucked off after Brian, mate, 'cos otherwise the rozzers might have got some DNA (off me fingers, mate, not spunk or nothin') off it an' found out me name. Anyway, I can hear this fuckin' twat screamin' almost all the way back t'Brian's. At first I am shittin' meself 'cos I thought I fuckin' broke his spine or somethin', but Brian won't stop goin' "AHHHHH! AHHH!!! FUCK!!" in a ned voice t'me an' eventually I start fuckin' laughin', an' I still can't fuckin' stop. Just thinkin' about it is funny as fuck, mate, I hope I didn't get his poofter Kappa gear too dirty when I done that fuckin' WWF bodyslam on him. If I were thinkin' faster I would've done a pin on him for the three count 'n'all, mate, but y'can't always be as funny as the Skelboy usually is, can ya?

I am fuckin' ace.

Bro, I can not understand half of the things you write. I thought the brits were supposed to be articulate. Did you lose that after WWII as well. LOL

"I can not understand half of the things you write."

That's 'cos y'thick, mate.


For a brit, you are pretty funny. I almost spat my sprite laughing. Guy Ritchie should put you in one of his movies or something.

Guy Ritchie's a poof. I would deck him easy.

I take that back, mate, he should've put Skelboy in that "Swept Away" shite. I'd have fixed his missus's gap teeth w'one o'them kicks t'the head.

UK Punishment, just b/c I am going to be nice with Skelboy does not mean the same will apply to you. Beware. You always gotta find some brit mouthen off.

How can you not appreciate Guy Ritchie. Snatch was one of the best movies I have ever seen. The only problem with Ritchie is that his wife has a penis. She is the worst thing to happen to the world since the the British global invasion. Okay, not that bad, but she comes pretty close.

Bwahahaha, one time I had a wank while watchin' Surprise Surprise mate, it were b'fore she got all old an' started t'look like Maggie Thatcher's tarty sister.

Fuck bro, you are priceless...LOL. I swear if they put you up at an auction, they would not know how much to bid for ya....LOL. Thats some funny shit.

"i couldn't give a shit whether your nice to me or not, didn't write that post so we could start dating, i'd go to cilla black for that shit!"

Typical freaking british mentality. Don't give a shat about anyone but yourselves. Thats why the world will alwasys be pissed at you guys.

UK Punishment, they shows it on TV sometimes. Gentlemen, start your wanking!!

Pretty weak comeback.


"tarra chuck!"



The only thing what's bad that the English done recently is McFly, mate.

Yeah, they're crap. There's like five o'those poofs but I bet O-Zone would still deck them all easy, mate.

Even James from Busted would have Guy Ritchie w'no hassle, mate. Bwahaahaha!