There are certain things I always wanted to do but it's impossible now because I'm old. I need to substitute certain items on my bucket list.
Example: you can't earn Boy Scout merit badges as an old dude. It's ridiculous even if it were possible. So I would love to earn some kind of survival badge from where? Is there an organization that tests your water finding, make fire, build shelter, make a knot abilities. Is there an adult survival school?
Example 2: I want to win a breakdancing contest against someone. But I'll likely throw my back out doing a retarded windmill. So how can an old timer have a dance contest against someone without being a retard.
How does one reconcile their missed childhood opportunities without looking like an old fool? 
Dance Dance Revolution in Japan and Ark on an official server with no hacks. You're welcome jinx bro 
There absolutely are survival schools. You're an adult, so you don't need to be tested for shit like that though. They'll give you the instruction, and it's up to you on whether you learn it
What about a tandem sky-dive?
Easy... for example if your dream is to go to Puerto Vallarta, maybe just get a Mexican Pizza at Taco Bell and rent Weekend At Bernie's. Want to go skydiving? Maybe try jumping off your roof with a sheet. Dream of running with the bulls? Maybe put a hotdog in your butt and tape some paper horns on your dog and then run around the house.
Mencken -But I want the merit badge or certificate
There absolutely are survival schools. You're an adult, so you don't need to be tested for shit like that though. They'll give you the instruction, and it's up to you on whether you learn it
Powdered Toast Man - What about a tandem sky-dive?That's not bad but I feel like everyone does that. It's as easy as paying 500 dollars and stepping off the plane. There's no accomplishment in it. It's just something to do.
Good direction though.
I need challenges. Things that require training and dedication to achieve.
mixedmartialfarts -Lol
Easy... for example if your dream is to go to Puerto Vallarta, maybe just get a Mexican Pizza at Taco Bell and rent Weekend At Bernie's. Want to go skydiving? Maybe try jumping off your roof with a sheet. Dream of running with the bulls? Maybe put a hotdog in your butt and tape some paper horns on your dog and then run around the house.
kkmmnn - Dance Dance Revolution in Japan and Ark on an official server with no hacks. You're welcome jinx broI would need some kind of certificate of accomplishment
RefriedJinx -It might seem like a lot of people have done it, and it's just a case of shelling out some dough, but it's much, MUCH more than that.Powdered Toast Man - What about a tandem sky-dive?That's not bad but I feel like everyone does that. It's as easy as paying 500 dollars and stepping off the plane. There's no accomplishment in it. It's just something to do.
Good direction though.
I need challenges. Things that require training and dedication to achieve.
I did it once and it is a sensory experience that has no equal.
The first 15-20 seconds out of the plane accelerating to terminal velocity is fucking MADNESS.
How about a marathon?
you are in luck
I am a level II Grand Eagle Scoutmaster and we can go camping this weekend and I am sure you could earn your badge
There are a ton of survival schools out there. I would be surprised if none of them offered at least a certification upon completion.
Eat more white rice
1) You are an adult now, just buy yourself a damn badge. Those things can't cost more than couple bucks.
2) Go to retirement home, challenge crippled elderly to break dance contest. If they decline, you win by default. If they accept, just smash them in the knee with a wrench while they are doing their 6-step.