This is the picture my phone takes of me with everything set on auto.
The problem with that picture is that its not what I look like! My phone straight up photoshopped my picture!
This is what I actually look like.
I know I am not the most attractive man in the world but thats not cool! I need a new phone!
Shit, I think I need your phone. 
In that first pic, you look like the guy in the beginning of Prometheus.
why the long face, Mr. Clapton?
The Fella -LOL!
and so do I you fuckin Alien.
Ugly Ari Shaffir IMO 
Man, go to a chiropractor or something, your shirt is all over the place.
Also, you're jewish, right?
I <3 this thread.
Your phone doesn't know what it's talking about. You're a handsome gentleman and don't let anyone tell you any different, not even your cell phone!
lol
AlexanderTheGOAT - What kind of phone?
OP shopped it. If his phone is auto shopping his pics, how'd he take the 2nd one? 
Man, if you use a couple filters on instagram, you'll look like David Duchovny in no time!
It's a setting on the phone that filters you. When you have the front facing camera on it probably says "beauty face" click that turn it to 0 and you ugly mug will be its normal ugly with no airbrush.
Where's Dougie with the Daffy Duck gif?
It should have photoshopped out your chest hair if it really wanted to make you look good.
It's true, the camera does add 10 lbs of chest hair.
You should thank Samsung!
Roberto Silva - Have you got it on the wax museum setting?
Put your suit on and i will do you
