I love these stories, and I finally have one to add.
So at work today, my boss says, "Hey, I'm trying to set up a fight between you and 'Joe', he used to be a cage fighter" I say, "Oh really?" and call the guy over.
"Hey, you cage fight?"
"Where have you fought at?"
"Oh...with what organization? King of the Cage? Where?"
He says, "No, nothing like that. This guy who owned a restaurant used to set me up with fights" The guy is mumbling at this point and basically walks away. Guy is like 26 and supposedly has a 3rd degree in something. I guess he needed to feel like a bad-ass or something. What a tool.