My co-worker the "cagefighter"

I love these stories, and I finally have one to add.

So at work today, my boss says, "Hey, I'm trying to set up a fight between you and 'Joe', he used to be a cage fighter" I say, "Oh really?" and call the guy over.

"Hey, you cage fight?"


"Where have you fought at?"

"Las Vegas"

"Oh...with what organization? King of the Cage? Where?"

He says, "No, nothing like that. This guy who owned a restaurant used to set me up with fights" The guy is mumbling at this point and basically walks away. Guy is like 26 and supposedly has a 3rd degree in something. I guess he needed to feel like a bad-ass or something. What a tool.

And the funny thing was, this morning, I was getting my ass handed to me by pro fighters.

no one ever believes these stories, I've posted mine. They seem to think this shit doesn't happen.

you should have asked him what's his favorite submission, does be prefer top or bottom, and whats his best combination.

^^^^^^Good idea!!! I'll ask tomarrow. I'm sure he knows jack shit so if I ask him if he prefer's top or bottom he'll probably think I'm ghey.

act as though you believe him. Then strike up a conversation about you having difficulty with a certain submission. Ask him how to properly execute the sub you are having trouble with, say for instance the head and arm triangle. The one that Rob MacDonald got chocked out with.

^^^Okay, then should I try it on him a choke him out?

absolutely, I guarantee the only thing he knows about mma is how to tap out.

"Met plenty of guys that gasps and screamed in subs and chokes because they didn't know to tap."

My cousin lives in Vegas and I stayed at his place once when I went down to the UFC.

There was a party next door and this guy asked what I was doing in town, so I told him I'm here to see the UFC.

He mentioned Royce Gracie and said he had trained some.

Him and my cousin wrestled for a few minutes and then he wanted to roll with me.

We started from the knees and he went REALLY hard for the takedown, so I just pulled guard.

I armbarred him right away and slowly applied pressure.

All of a sudden this guy screams, so I let go.

He jumped up and was in my face explaining how this is just friendly wrestling and I shouldn't try to break his arm.

Every time somebody would show up that night, he'd tell the the story of how I tried to kill him.

i went balls to the ball once

I was just nervous because we were at work....but in the cage....I would OWN you!!

I'm little more than a live heavy bag and grappling dummy at my gym for the fighters. There's no way in hell I'm going to tell anyone that I'm a "cage fighter."

The guy who works for my uncle last opponent had to be saved with emegency tracheyotomy in the ring.

I had a guy who came in and told me all about the cage fights he had up in Canada and how he knocked someone out and nearly killed them and the power he could generate was so scary he vowed never to fight again and in went on like that with no pauses for quite a while.

I was talking to a producer of a big radio show re: Forrest interview for them...he went on about having watched the UFCs "since the 80's" lol.

kirik, that is canada bob, and every word is true - i didn't start mma until i knew that he was retired

I wonder if when I worked in the IT department of an accounting firm and told people I was an ultimate fighter whether they thought these same things...?  :)


"Hey mate, that Elvis character claims he's a cagefighter! And why is he using a fake name?"


oh yeah, G'Day Elvis...sad about Mr Irwin.

Do you have AOL im?


I worked with a guy who "trained" a guy in Kung Fu who "almost" made a TUF. It wasn't even a style applicable to MMA, it was internal Kung Fu. But, he couldn't show me the deadly techniques 'cause his shoulder hurt. Dude...