When I was 17 years old, I played on an AAU basketball team that traveled the country thanks to our coach/sponsor being a CEO of a Sports Agency. So he had bank.
We're in Las Vegas, and I'm rooming with the only guy on the team taller than me, a 7'1" guy named Bill. He's convinced the only way we can have fun on our day off is to go collect as many of those stripper cards the guys hand out on the strip and then calling the stripper agency with the best looking girl on the cover.
We do that, and on the elevator, Bill drops the entire pile on purpose in a crowded elevator. We had probably 75 or 100 cards from both of us after a few hours. The people in the elevator look down to see a ton of porn just sitting there, and pretend they don't even notice it. Bill picks up one card and we go back to our room. He calls and tells the operator person to send the best looking girl they have.
At the hotel, Security has to call up before allowing anyone in without a card, so we get a call from Security that there is a girl asking to come up. He tells the guy to hold on, and I go down to do a recon mission. As I walk past her non-chalantly, she makes eye contact with me and stares me down, and I know for a fact she knew what I was doing...I felt like an idiot. However: Verdict, not hot.
So we send her away and call the agency back pissed. They say they'll send over someone else. I don't want that embarrassment again, so when the desk clerk calls us again, Bill asks her, 'Is she hot?' The guy says, "Yasssiiirrrrrr!" like this chick was the fucking bomb. So we tell him to send her up.
She knocks on our door and I check through the peep hole. Through it, I saw a 5'2" middle-eastern looking woman with like...sores...on her face. Acne scars, the works. Her hair was akin to straw and she was flat as hell.
Bill is yelling at me to let her in, and I'm yelling back "NO! CALL THEM AND SEND THIS ONE AWAY TOO!" like she wasn't even a real person. Finally, Bill pushes me aside and opens the door to let her in. It was like watching air deflate from a balloon to see the joy in his face vanish as we let her in. She immediately burst past us, probably because she heard us(me) yelling that she was ugly. She throws her shit down and says, "The cost is $100 per half hour, plus tips."
Bill is so pissed, he pretends that the tipping part is the reason he decides to refuse. So she's this little tiny thing yelling at us to pay her for showing up, and she's got a 6'8" and a 7'1" guy yelling at her that we're not going to pay her and she needs to leave. So we say we're going to call the agency and say "You sent over an ugly girl again!" She bursts into tears and whips out her cell phone and calls her agency (I hope, and not some muscleman pimp), and she is like apologizing into her phone over and over again. She keeps trying to hand to phone to me, and I'm like, "Fuck that, I'm not talking to anyone. Keep apologizing." She finally 'leaves', but while sitting in our room we hear these over the top sobs, and I peek out the door to see she's just squatted in the hallway yelling/crying to nobody.
Bill says, "Let's leave, man, before someone shows up." While trying to explain that we'd have to come BACK anyways, we just walk right past her. Ignoring her as we do, she reaches out and tries to claw at our ankles and the only thing she's saying is "MONEY! MONEY!" not even crying anymore.
We managed to get in the elevator while she was like, stomping her feet. We went to the hotel next door, and saw Ray Allen and Cuttino Mobly(sp?) playing poker, then Busta Rhymes drove past us in a yellow lambo while we were walking back.
The stripper was gone.
