Nia Jaxx could the greatest female villain ever

They're wasting this gigantic bish.

She's not just big, she's fucking huge. And she doesn't seem sloppy fat like Big Daddy V or whoever that huge fat female was during the attitude era. Bayley is tiny. Sasha is super tiny. Alexa Bliss (that bonermaker) is 5'0" and about 74 pounds.

Nia should be killing these bitches, dead. She ought to have the belt and the other women coming up with convoluted schemes to try and gain an advantage.

But we all know she'll be the first eliminated Sunday night.

I HAVE A PLAN.

Give her Yokozuna's gimmick. Don't even try to hide it. Have Nia take half a year off, do some VERY basic sumo training (Yokozuna himself was a Samoan who never competed in Sumo), and a Japanese mouthpiece. If she actually competes in some low-level women's variant of Sumo, run the vignettes like, "Nia Jaxx making WWE proud!" while that's happening, show her getting flowers and bowing, all that good shit. Hype the fuck out of her return, but don't give a date.

Then Nia can come out, match her up against any of the tiny women's wrestlers, and instead of being "successful Nia" or the current "fake eyelashes jobber" that she currently is, have her come out to new music, dark Asian-sounding music, with her new Japanese mouthpiece, and fucking DESTROY Bayley. Right on Veteran's Day, like five Banzai drops. Do it just like Yokozuna did with Hacksaw Jim Duggan, have her drape an American flag over Bayley and fucking murderize her with Banzai drops.

BAM.

Then give her a serious Yokozuna-level title reign. If you want to be ironic, have her squash Natalya for whatever variant of women's title there is. Have Nia fatbishcrush the shit out of every woman on the RAW roster, make it seem like there is no end in sight.

Of course, on the Smackdown roster, real Japanese star Asuka would be well into her own fan-loved title reign. It would be the easiest booking in the world to have badass Asuka call out Nia for a champion vs. champion match at next year's Wrestlemania. Asuka doing it for real Japanese honor/whatever and her American fans. Nia doing it for "Fuck you I'm Nia Jaxx".

It'd be the greatest Women's title match ever, and ironically wouldn't use any of the four horsewomen. But that would be an awesome run. Bayley's fans destroyed, hugely emotionally invested. Sasha's fans destroyed, hugely emotionally invested. Charlotte could turn back face, be the blonde with the American flag, be the savior of the women's division like she was always meant to be, then get destroyed. The heat would be unbelievable.

Sasha and kinda Bayley are bonermakers in their own right

ShanTheMan - Sasha and kinda Bayley are bonermakers in their own right

Sasha does it for me. So hawt. Would jack furiously watching her eat five banzai drops from Nia.

Nia is a boner maker 

They'd be accused of "fat shaming" to do that gimmick, but it's definitely a creative idea. I say give her Rikishi's gimmick... thong and all!

AnthonyWeiner - 
ShanTheMan - Sasha and kinda Bayley are bonermakers in their own right

Sasha does it for me. So hawt. Would jack furiously watching her eat five banzai drops from Nia.

Something about Bayley's retardface and nice body is a bonermaker for me too.

She looks tiny in the pic compared to what I see on screen

nowaydo -


That's a nice sink

GS27 - She looks tiny in the pic compared to what I see on screen

They dress her in the most unflattering attire.

JoeMimic - 

They don't even need to do all that. Keep her off the mic and just have her start crushing everyone - faces heels doesn't matter who. The problem is she's already been booked like shit. Send her to Smackdown and have her smash everyone.


agree