Ninjas are back

This is a 2005 Australian ninja story that the boys at the club though deserved a repost. Just in case anyone new has had any experiences with these mighty warriors...?

2005..Townsville Australia..
We have had an interesting week here in Townsville with some serious ninja stuff happening, I thought these stories were all made up but this happened to us for

Colin(Head Coach) wanted to put on a comp in March with maybe full contact Karate for our Karate students, some C class shooto/mma type matches and perhaps some kickboxing.. He must have called about 20 clubs and they were just about all either answering machines (you know, leave your number we'll call you back) or they don't compete or do full contact.

Especially one guy, he told Col in a fairly gruff sort of manner that they DO NOT compete, Their art is NOT A SPORT, they only train to MAIM AND KILL.

OMFG ,is this guy for real?...................... Ninjas...

Next day I was told about this I had to call him myself. Pretended I knew nothing really and was interested in joining and wanted to ask a few questions (sneaky me ) and was told very seriously about the maiming and killing as well as secret weapon training ,pressure points and their grappling skills which is a lot like bjj apparently. I then told him a few mates had gotten out tapes of ufc etc and I had watched them and did he think it was fair dinkum as I wasn't sure ..He told me it is like pro wrestling....

I next asked him if he was perhaps in the army and if he had killed anyone with this stuff. Overseas maybe .(,because really if you can claim it works then surely you have maimed and killed.) His reply was
' No ,I wasn't in the army but my father was, but I could kill someone quite easily as I have that kind of mentality'

You have got to be friggin joking! Who is this evil man? This is a grown man telling me this shit on the phone to someone he has never met, Next he told me to check out their international website and go to the yellow pages section and check out how huge they were ...
They are a fairly large organisation but surely they are not all like this ninja?

I looked him up and he registered as a10th degree black belt. Now that is scary. Apparently for their 5th degree they have to kneel down ,with their eyes shut, whilst behind them a guy with a wooden practice sword chops down at their head which they have to evade. This guy must be good.

You can also get a black belt online here
Now this was all good fun on the phone but I had to go and see this stuff in action so I asked him when and where they they trained so I could come and see him.
They trained on sat 5pm at a park (outdoors) not 5 min from our club..Perfect ..We finish sat training at 5pm..We are going for a look.. I will post the outcome...If I survive.

If you are thinking of visiting one of these clubs yourselves then go here first to learn how to make a ninja hood out of a tshirt.

I got carsick three lines into your frat

It takes a Ninja to teach a Ninja grammar.

You guys must be ninjas ... i will not be distracted by your devious diversionary tactics.

Ok here it was, about 5.20 pm Saturday afternoon.

Five of us (all experienced comp guys) rocked up at Ninja park where we found them training behind the toilet block. Freshly mown grass which was very soft and drizzly rain that was threatening to get harder. Four students ,paired off and the instructor were doing some sort of weird punching drills into kick shields held at chest level. All the students were beginners. We all lined up on the side near the toilet block wall and watched this stuff.

It was absolutely horrendous technique. .Picture someone with cerebal palsy practising fencing /swordwork.It was some sort of lunging punch thingy .followed by another sort of a punch(I think) followed by a step back but lunge forward sort of punch.....Thingy.... . It wasn?t punching like western boxing, They didnt throw like kung fu guys. It wasn?t karate or taekwondo , it was exactly how I described it. It was like nothing I have ever seen before.
We thought ok ,these are beginners then the head guy(about 6?2 , 45 yrs old and about 100kg) stepped up and showed them..YEP..They were doin it right....Just like he did it.

We watched this for about ten minutes and they had already been there for fifteen .we were all going to go when I thought no ,We?ve come this far I?m going over to talk to this dude. This is when my education started.

I went over and excused myself saying I could see he was busy but could he talk to me for a minute and maybe show me some things. First off he told me that his experienced students weren?t there because they didn?t like the rain and he was a bit upset because ?In real combat you never know what the weather will do? and they should have been there.

He then told that they were a pressure point school .I said that sounds good could he show me how it works .he then proceeded to point to various parts of my body pointing out these secret zones. I asked him if he could do one on me and explain what they do.

He asked me to grab his arm at his bicep and hold on .he was then going to apply pressure at my elbow to make me release, well, he poked and prodded and poked and prodded and said ?it?s here somewhere? after it didn?t work he said ?Oh well ,It works on most people? Remember. All this is in front of everyone.

Next was an introduction to their standing grabs .He asked me to grab his shirt/lapel ,he tried to wrist lock me .I turned out of it .He tried some other arm locks .I rotated effortlessly out of them. It wasn?t that im good Its just that he couldn?t do them. I wasn?t even trying. If he were even a beginner level at Aikido, for example ,I would have been put on my Ass.

Through all this he is telling me the principles of real combat and his art, Telling us that the head of their organisation had killed a documented seventeen people with his bare hands ?and god knows how many others?..GET F#$KIN REAL!! Who is this guy .He must be a mass murderer that the authorities just let walk around.

Im still coming to grips with the fact that this guy is a 10th Dan ,who advertises in the phone book and actually has real students.

Then he was telling us that they never do high kicks because it comes from the samurai and it is hard to do high kicks with full body armour.(Maybe he is getting mixed up with king Arthur.)

Next was the lesson on why you should never ever leg check a thigh kick.He asked me if I had seen the clip on the net where the guy snaps his shin....This was his reasoning, lol.

Ok this story is taking longer than I thought and Im not even up to the good part yet.

More to follow

lmao is this real?

'Telling us that the head of their organisation had killed a documented seventeen people with his bare hands ?'

IS this John Wayne gacey- Fu?

Ok next I asked him what they do when someone grabs them .I clinched with him with double unders to show him what I meant.(still acting like I was clueless) this is when we heard about the skin ripping. We thought we had misheard .:?Did you say ripping or gripping? He had definately said ripping but changed it to gripping.

Please explain? His defence for this sort of clinch was to reach down and grab my love handle skin with each hand and try and friggin rip it off. A bloody horsie for shits sake. Sure it didn?t tickle but it just makes you lock tighter and take them down, the complete opposite of what he thinks would happen.

I then asked him if he did that stuff anywhere else .like on nipples .I told him if he used nipple cripples then that was really savage. He didn?t realize I was taking the piss.

During all this he was still talking about other styles and told me that if I tried to learn bjj I would be a dickhead and any of that shootfightin sorta stuff was so sport orientated it wouldn?t be good for anything.
Alright that?s it mate ,your starting to piss me off Lets crank this up a notch I thought.

I asked him to show me how he would defend if someone came at him and tried to grab him ..I gave him a push and started to close in (not agro but with a little intent) as reached for me ,I clinched.....he tried to grab my under......side/back clinch...takedown Fairly solid....onto the ground to side control. to mount. Pushed his face to his right with my left hand and dropped a big right hand bomb into the ground(lucky it was soft) right beside his head..

He bucked around for a bit and then started trying to push me off I wasnt trying to hit him or submit him I was just lightly holding him
His students started to freak out a bit but the boys calmed them down
All through this however he was still showing me stuff.While I was mounted he suddenly reaches towards my face and then informed me that he had plucked my eye out. Luckily when I looked at his fingers they were empty. he then makes another movement and then tells me that my groin was gone..
The boys asked if he could have tried that while I was punching his head off.?

He just told us to use common sense or something.
So anyway I thought it might be a good time to ease off a bit so I roll off the guy and im beside him when he reaches out and grabs my arm (hes on his back Im on my Knees and he starts showing us where he could kick me in the ribs and shit. totally crap

Then he shows me his devastating scissor lock submission ..You are on the ground and he gets your back (wouldnt happen) he wraps his legs around you and squeezes......Thats it!!! Thats supposed to end the fight.He even had his ankles crossed .

Then he shows us his escape from the ground This was his grand finale For this he used his own student. They both laid down beside each other as though they had just separated or something when he jumps to a single kneeling position and then sort of stands and instead of getting away or simulating a kick to the head or establishing some sort of control..Who can guess what he did next?

Was it
A: A nipple cripple
B: Throw a smoke bomb
C: Do a forward roll on top of his student and escape to the opposite side
D : all of the above

I have a black belt and it was bought from Century, which you can buy online. They sell products online, it doesn't mean they endorse them.

JOn Hess double knee drop?

short attention span...


too long ts '

It's worth a read...good post!

The suspence is killing me!

'The suspence is killing me!'

No my friend, that is the Dim Mak that you are feeling!!

I think Ausguy is watching Desperate Housewives - he should be back with the rest of his story soon...

If you are coming, c'mon.