nobu's farking sux


was gonna write a horrible review, but this one pretty much says it all w/o all the FUCKING FUCK YOU FUCKIRONCOCKSUCKER FUCKFACE. and i didn't want to ruin it w/ that.


July 15, 2009 By: John Curtas Category: Celebrity Chef Hell, Chefs, Food, Reviews

Nothing about this place is as great as its reputation.


So said the late, great Seymour Britchky about the Coach House way back in the 1980’s. But anyone who’s suffered through the overpriced, so-so sushi at Nobu knows exactly what he was talking about.

Our gripes: constantly describing things as “spicy” the menu when they’re not, a mushy, not-spicy-at-all “spicy” tuna roll that could’ve been rolled out by any all-you-can-eat sushi joint, a twenty-dollar hearts of palm salad that has to be the most overpriced restaurant dish in town, and finally, the ruination of a bunch of crab by baking it with a load of (once again) not-so-spicy mayonnaise.

Nobu Matsuhisha, like his down-market rival Roy Yamaguchi, may have been an innovator at one time, but his ideas have been co-opted by so many chefs and restaurants that the whole experience at either place feels as stale as yesterday’s toast.

And whichever one of them (we’re assuming it was one of them) invented the whole mayonnaise with Japanese seafood thing, should be shot….because baking mayonnaise on top of a bunch of crab is the worst idea since someone deep fried a Twinkie.

On the other hand, the urchin tempura was well nigh perfect — light as a feather and beautifully composed.

Which is what you could say about much of the crowd here — none of whom seems to be paying the slightest attention to the food, or the prices. Which is exactly the way the management likes it.

On the plus side, the service, despite the constant crush of SoCal hipsters, is invariably welcoming, fast and friendly.

So steeped in mediocrity (and mayonnaise) was our last meal here (the last of half a dozen over the years), that we’ll opt for Roy’s the next time we’re hankerin’ for hamachi. The parade of eye-candy may be missed, but at least the prices will be lower.

Our two sushi rolls and three small plates meal for two came to $103 with no booze.


In the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino

4455 Paradise Road

Las Vegas, NV 89169


youre hard to please.

actually i'm easy. i like safeway m&m cookies.