OGer markets homemade Energy Drinks (pic)

Boone County resident, Jasper June, 72, was arrested today on felony charges of manufacturing and distributing homemade “energy drinks” containing the powerful stimulate methamphetamine. The Boone County drug task force raided June’s tree fort (June lives in 200 sq. ft. tree fort on his brother’s property) to find Jasper wearing only an adult diaper and reading an Arabic pornographic magazine.

Police seized approximately 25 2 liter bottles of June’s “energy drink” found in a cinder block pump house on the property. The bottles tested positive for methamphetamine.

June came under suspicion when he sold four bottles to several high school girls who hours later were checked into a hospital with internal bleeding. The children’s parents phoned authorities.

A police report contained several statements from June:

“They’re just energy drinks like Rockstar or Monster. It’s not meth in there. It’s just lemonade, caffeine, sugar and a couple drops of gasoline. I swear to God I didn’t put meth in there.”

Customers would come to June’s home to buy the energy drinks for $20 per bottle. One customer spoke on the condition of anonymity:

“I’m shocked Jasper put crank in his energy drinks. I didn’t know nothing about that. I just knew they worked good to keep me awake for a couple days. Stuff way better than Monster [energy drink].”

Hours after June’s first statement, he confessed:

“Okay, I put just a little meth in there to get them addicted and keep customers coming back. I know they’ll all testify against me so let me make something else clear: I pissed in every bottle.”

June also faces child endangerment charges for ‘poisoning’ the girls who drank his homemade concoction.

I could have sworn this was going to be Boone County, KY. Then it said he was wearing nothing but a diaper in a tree house. It was about -2 all day today, so unless he's dipping into his own supply... Phone Post 3.0

Is there a Boone County in Florida? Phone Post 3.0

Selling high school girls energy drinks from a fort in your brother's yard.

Definitely an OGer. Phone Post 3.0

"I just knew they worked good to keep me awake for a couple days." Phone Post 3.0

OF fucking course he was in Boone County

where does one acquire an Arabic porn mag?

That old Bottle pisser. He's nuts hahaha. Phone Post 3.0

Is that real? There's so many wtf things that jump out even in that lil snippet lolol Phone Post 3.0

Louisvillain - That's the most random story I ever read.

Adult diaper: check
Meth: check
Piss pranks: check
Arabic smut: check Phone Post 3.0
72 year old living in a tree fort: check

Awesome story. Phone Post 3.0

TTT Phone Post 3.0

Lol @ everything about this story especially "I pissed in every bottle" Phone Post 3.0

That guy needs a TV show Phone Post 3.0

Can't even buy a decent beverage from an old man that lives in a tree house and shits himself while he beats off anymore? This world sucks. Phone Post 3.0

Obviously not a real story, but pretty funny.

Stackdoe - Obviously not a real story, but pretty funny.
I don't wanna live in a world where this never happened. Phone Post 3.0