At least it isn't eating literal shit this time.
Those are some delightful rapscallions.
headlines later that night:
"Cops shoot and kill black man carrying toy gun!"
I was in a car once with a guy I didn’t know too well. As we turned off broad street onto Snyder, some kids lit his car up with paintballs. Was really loud inside the car. I thought it was real bullets at first. The kids ran and dude driving followed them to about 16th street. They broke left and he went right. I said “where you going, they went that way?”. He said “I know where them little niggas is going”. He was black so it’s ok. But eventually he cut them off at the end of an alley and they almost ran into the car. He pulled his real gun out and told them not to move. Was 2 kids with 1 paintball gun. He grabbed the paintball gun and told them to get up on the wall and spread em like he was a cop. Then he emptied whatever was left in the paintball gun onto their backs, asses, back of the head. Everywhere. They ended up in the fetal position on the sidewalk.
Moral of the story: Philly is not a good place to shoot people with paintballs.