Oldest Son Turns 21 Today

My oldest of 6 kids turns 21 today and even though it's just a number, it does feel a bit like a milestone of sorts. He is a great person. I don't know many people his age with his level of character. A week or so ago, we were talking and he said, "I'm just really happy about life right now". He's a mechanical engineering major living home while going to university and he still manages to contribute effort around the house and help out with his siblings. He is strong in his faith, strong in body, strong in mind, and has a sense of balance in his personal life where he likes to have some of his own time, but isn't constantly driving for more of it for himself or stressing out worried about not having this or that. He never fails to think me and my wife for anything we do to help him. Also, since my wife homeschooled him and he is so bright and well adjusted, he also makes us look not as crazy for having done so, as most people in our family talked mad shit to us for homeschooling when we started.

I think "pride" in it's most accurate form is kind of a bad thing, so I don't want to say how proud I am of him, as if it's to my credit, because it's really not, so I guess I will say I am just joyous and happy for him to have made so much so far with what little we have given him.

On another note, what the kids getting older helps me realize is that it's sort of like the first part of life consists of learning how to live and acquiring things, and then at some point, it changes to learning how die and get rid of things, because one of the positives I find with my son being 21 is that as he and my other kids get older, they are becoming more self sufficient and more able to help each other and their mother, so as they get older, it puts me in a position where I am closer to being able to die in good conscience. Maybe that sounds morbid or pessimistic, but I don't feel that way. One of the fun things about being single and with no kids when you are younger is that you can engage in high risk activities and care less for your own safety because if you die, you're not leaving anyone in a bad position. When you have kids, you feel a sense of responsibility to try to stay on earth a while to help guide them, and that part is kind of a pain in the ass. In the end, I would love to die knowing that all 6 of my kids are either in or on their way to being in a position to take care of themselves and others. We don't always get to know that, but it would be nice, and now at least I have 1 who is on his way to being capable of taking over the throne, such as it is. :)