One thing I'll miss about our "pandemic"

When this whole shitshow jumped off, I watched the entire country scramble for clorox wipes, sanitizer, bleach, and soap. Being the clean freak and borderline germaphobe that I am, we had these things very well stocked. Always have. Always will.

It brought, for most I’d hoped, starkly into focus, what loathsome, filthy animals they were. My wife, bless her heart, hoped people would start being a little cleaner. She’s always trying to see the best in people. I love that about her. But I knew better, all while secretly hoping at least a few would “clean up”.

Now as we emerge from this crap, I notice all the filthy animals going right back to their filthy ways. Oh well. It was nice while it lasted. That, and the lesser traffic in this commie shithole, were the only “net positive” things, for me, during this pandemic.

That and I didn’t need a polite excuse for keeping people the fuck away from me.

3 Likes

I bet you are real fun at parties

5 Likes

I’m going to miss the social distance, I hate people near me.

6 Likes

I miss my commute to work with no traffic or school busses stopping every 50ft.

5 Likes

I will miss no traffic and people staying away from me. In the last month, I have someone stopping me to talk non fucking stop while taking my dog outside.

2 Likes

I fucking hate parties. Always have. I was that dude nursing a bottle of brown liquor in the corner watching people act like morons.

I’m trying to say I was obviously a fucking blast.

2 Likes

Hey OP. You know what germaphobes have? Fucking terrible immune systems because they never come into contact with germs. Think Native Americans coming into contact with the common cold and it wiping them out. You’re trying to be clean when in reality you’re allowing yourself to get sick easier. Also you’re clearly a faggot and your wife must look like a man.

3 Likes

I miss my company making me do 3 days on 2 days off, then 2 days on and 3 days off the next week but paying me for all five days for the next 3 months… that was sweet

2 Likes

Not OP and not a total germaphobe, but I have been fastidious about cleaning my hands every time before I eat and not touching my face for years. I almost never get sick. I’ll keep it up!

3 Likes

My immune system and recovery from the rare illness and (unfortunately) more common injury is almost inhuman. Wolverine-esque, according to my wife. The neighbors call me “The Cyborg”.

But thanks for playing.

My ninja.

1 Like

OP liked the “pandemic” cause people were using bleach to clean their bathroom? What? Boy, you need to take those high heels off, march on down to the doctor right now, and demand estrogen blockers and TRT shots cause you aint no kinda man!

You sound like a middle aged woman whose cleaning all the time to take her mind off her failing marriage. DISGUSTING

While at said party you can bet your ass he uses a coaster without being asked!

1 Like

OP sounds like Travis Bickle:

“Thank God for the rain, which has helped wash away the garbage and trash off the sidewalks. I’m working long hours now: six in the afternoon to six in the morning. Sometimes, even eight in the morning, six days a week. Sometimes seven days a week. It’s a long hustle, but it keeps me real busy. I can take in three, three-fifty a week. Sometimes even more when I do it off the meter. All the animals come out at night – whores, skunk p*****s, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal. Someday, a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets.”

1 Like

Damn skippy!

Actually, I never put my bottle down. Hated beer then, still kind of do now. Just me, my bourbon, myself and I.

Like I said, a fucking blast.

1 Like

That’s some seriously poetic shit right thurrr.

I’ll miss being able to drive to and from work without having to worry about traffic delays

1 Like

Fuck every single thing about the pandemic including OP

Noted