Phantom poop messes with my mind everytime

I'm on the toilet. I feel a turd leave my butt. I look in the toilet and there is nothing there. It's as clean as before I sat down. There is always a second where I think, "did I just imagine pooping?" It's like I'm being gaslighted by my own shit and leaves me in a state of confusion. I contemplate whether I'm losing my mind.

 

Is it possible that my turd had the velecoity and shape to perfectly swim down the pipe without having to be flushed? That's truly amazing if so.

dustynothing -


Is it possible that my turd had the velecoity and shape to perfectly swim down the pipe without having to be flushed? That's truly amazing if so.

This is always my assumption. It fished itself though the plumbing.

 

What's worse than feeling it is hearing it hot the water, but upon looking it's nowhere to be found.

Its smaller than it felt and is just hiding on the other side of the curve of the drain.

Perhaps it really is a phantom. In the paranormal sense.

It's very possible your asshole is possessed and needs an exorcism.

There are four kinds of bad poops and they are much like the fantastic four.


Invisible women. AKA Phantom Poop.


The Thing. Overdried hard poop that tears your butthole.


Human Torch. Common poop after chili night or other spicy food.


Mr. Fantastic. the sticky poop that gets everywhere and takes forever to wipe. You wipe and wipe but it takes forever so you just hop in the shower.

Brockback Mountain - There are four kinds of bad poops and they are much like the fantastic four.


Invisible women. AKA Phantom Poop.


The Thing. Overdried hard poop that tears your butthole.


Human Torch. Common poop after chili night or other spicy food.


Mr. Fantastic. the sticky poop that gets everywhere and takes forever to wipe. You wipe and wipe but it takes forever so you just hop in the shower.

truth

When that happens it's probably a parasite hatching from inside of you (after laying eggs) and swimming off. 

 

I'm not a doctor.

It’s a beautiful thing. 

Or...

Your possessed by a demon and unable to see the satanic vile coming out of you.

Three Oreo cookies will cure you.