Planning a Trip to Jamaica TME

I'd suggest going somewhere else. Jamaica is a complete shithole. You cannot wander anywhere off of hotel property or you will be abducted and killed. Seriously, go somewhere else, and thank me later.

Brandable - 


I'd suggest going somewhere else. Jamaica is a complete shithole. You cannot wander anywhere off of hotel property or you will be abducted and killed. Seriously, go somewhere else, and thank me later.


Any recommendations? My budget for a trip is probably under $4500.

dustynothing - 
OGTT_RKellyPeedOnMe -
Rantuckjr - I've been to the Carribean 5 times and Jamaica was my least favorite of any of the trips. The food was good, but other than that we didnt love it.
This, but only three times. We went to Montego Bay, and I was not impressed. I enjoy traveling and do it a lot; However, I will not be returning to Jamaica. Phone Post 3.0
We are looking to stay at an all inclusive resort and not spend much time outside of it. Phone Post 3.0

We stayed at an all inclusive in a town called Lucea the Grand Palladium Jamaica Resort and Spa / Grand Palladium Lady Hamilton.

It is halfway between Negril and Montego Bay. We chose it because the hotel was new and it was between 2 cities we wanted to visit.

Name dropper warning! The singer Pink stayed there the same week as us as her mom was getting married there. We got to chat with her a few times and we got to hear her sing for her mom's wedding. Amazing voice in person.

Anyways, back to the trip. It's not like you wont have a good time. We went off resort alot (Rick's cafe is really touristy, but fun) to small towns in the area, out to the beaches, zip lining. I dont smoke, but my cousin bought weed at the resort about 3 minutes after we arrived. The people are a little pushy but most speak English (if you need that when on vacation) and we never felt uncomfortable or in danger.

But for our money, we got so much more in Dom. Repub. for an equal price (very poor country, Punta Cana on the southeast side of the island against the Atlantic has great beaches and is far away from the dirtier cities), much nicer in Mexico (paid alot more though) and a much better time in Puerto Rico.

There is my 2 cents.

dustynothing - 
Brandable - 


I'd suggest going somewhere else. Jamaica is a complete shithole. You cannot wander anywhere off of hotel property or you will be abducted and killed. Seriously, go somewhere else, and thank me later.


Any recommendations? My budget for a trip is probably under $4500.

For $4,500 you can live like a king in DR.

You could have a good time for that in St. Lucia (and you wont die).

If not American (or willing to risk it) you can buy half of Cuba.

You can make Riviera Maya happen for $4,500 off season.

dustynothing - 
Brandable - 


I'd suggest going somewhere else. Jamaica is a complete shithole. You cannot wander anywhere off of hotel property or you will be abducted and killed. Seriously, go somewhere else, and thank me later.


Any recommendations? My budget for a trip is probably under $4500.


Costa Rica

Rantuckjr -
dustynothing - 
Brandable - 


I'd suggest going somewhere else. Jamaica is a complete shithole. You cannot wander anywhere off of hotel property or you will be abducted and killed. Seriously, go somewhere else, and thank me later.


Any recommendations? My budget for a trip is probably under $4500.

For $4,500 you can live like a king in DR.

You could have a good time for that in St. Lucia (and you wont die).

If not American (or willing to risk it) you can buy half of Cuba.

You can make Riviera Maya happen for $4,500 off season.
Thanks for your input. I will look into the other places you mentioned. We want to stay at a couples only all inclusive resort. I want to get drunk and lay on the beach and not have to worry about paying or tipping for everything. We want a nice relaxing vacation. We've never been anywhere tropical outside of the US. Phone Post 3.0

dustynothing - 
Rantuckjr -
dustynothing - 
Brandable - 


I'd suggest going somewhere else. Jamaica is a complete shithole. You cannot wander anywhere off of hotel property or you will be abducted and killed. Seriously, go somewhere else, and thank me later.


Any recommendations? My budget for a trip is probably under $4500.

For $4,500 you can live like a king in DR.

You could have a good time for that in St. Lucia (and you wont die).

If not American (or willing to risk it) you can buy half of Cuba.

You can make Riviera Maya happen for $4,500 off season.
Thanks for your input. I will look into the other places you mentioned. We want to stay at a couples only all inclusive resort. I want to get drunk and lay on the beach and not have to worry about paying or tipping for everything. We want a nice relaxing vacation. We've never been anywhere tropical outside of the US. Phone Post 3.0


His choices are excellent as well, just stay away from Jamaica. Have you looked into hawaii? 

Montego Bay - sandals is great water sports fun but expect plane noise.
Negril - great fun all inclusive + water sports, beach was eroding yrs ago.
Antiga - Sandals, great fun, great food, beach was public so some harrassment by vendors
Sandals white house - top notch in every way + nice tennis facilities
Sandals st lucia - another top notch, + public park for hiking (pigeon pt or something?)
Sandals grand bahama's - great + resort owns a private island with boat shuttle, + great piano bar, can be cool temps early in the year.
Dominican republic - hard rock resort, huge property, + casino + awesome beach, expect lots of extra costs for kids activities.
Costa Rica - palace resort, very fun + jungle tours + zip lines, roads are terrible (10 miles take awhile!!!), can be really hot 100+
Cancun palace resorts - great beach, great food, small property, and one I stayed at had gym off property so I just jogged through town all week.

Buffer720 - I got married at Couples Negril. Stayed for a week, all inclusive so I had a pia colada in one hand and a red stripe in the other the entire time. Definitely go to dunns falls with your group, but it's probably a good idea to be at the resort when the sun sets.

Got a half of ganja for FOUR DOLLARS on the trip from the airport to the resort. Phone Post 3.0
Yeah ive visited couples negril and swept away.i done the 30ft and 50ft dive in ricks cafe but couldnt muster the balls for the 85 footer Phone Post 3.0

Brandable -
dustynothing - 
Rantuckjr -
dustynothing - 
Brandable - 


I'd suggest going somewhere else. Jamaica is a complete shithole. You cannot wander anywhere off of hotel property or you will be abducted and killed. Seriously, go somewhere else, and thank me later.


Any recommendations? My budget for a trip is probably under $4500.

For $4,500 you can live like a king in DR.

You could have a good time for that in St. Lucia (and you wont die).

If not American (or willing to risk it) you can buy half of Cuba.

You can make Riviera Maya happen for $4,500 off season.
Thanks for your input. I will look into the other places you mentioned. We want to stay at a couples only all inclusive resort. I want to get drunk and lay on the beach and not have to worry about paying or tipping for everything. We want a nice relaxing vacation. We've never been anywhere tropical outside of the US. Phone Post 3.0


His choices are excellent as well, just stay away from Jamaica. Have you looked into hawaii? 

Relax saying Jamaica is a shit hole. 70 percent of the island is trees. Its a nature preserve man. I went off the resort at 18 years old for hours at a time alone and nobody bothered me, except for the broke ones trying to get me to buy a trinket. They're all super friendly people. Its ridiculous to think youre going to get kidnapped if you step off the resort. I mean if you pulled out 1 or 2 thousand maybe. But not just like that. Phone Post

There's always one. ^

Look, i am simply stating that the place is a complete shithole, and despite a 40% drop in murders since 2009, it is still on par with places like South Africa and Colombia. Go ahead and bring your loved ones into that third world country and roll the dice, but don't say you weren't warned.

Brandable -


There's always one. ^



Look, i am simply stating that the place is a complete shithole, and despite a 40% drop in murders since 2009, it is still on par with places like South Africa and Colombia. Go ahead and bring your loved ones into that third world country and roll the dice, but don't say you weren't warned.

Did something happen to you when you were there? From what I've read many people seem to think Jamaica is one of their favorite vacation spots. Phone Post 3.0

dustynothing -
OGTT_RKellyPeedOnMe -
Rantuckjr - I've been to the Carribean 5 times and Jamaica was my least favorite of any of the trips. The food was good, but other than that we didnt love it.
This, but only three times. We went to Montego Bay, and I was not impressed. I enjoy traveling and do it a lot; However, I will not be returning to Jamaica. Phone Post 3.0
We are looking to stay at an all inclusive resort and not spend much time outside of it. Phone Post 3.0
Do yourself a favor and plan a couple trips with established guides from the resort. The waterfall hike there is amazing and the do some horseback riding on the beach and up into the hills too.

If you leave to just walk into town to buy some local stuff, only bring the cash you are willing to spend ;-)
Im in sales 14 years and the locals still sold me until I had no cash left. Got some sweet shit and anything ypu want you can negotiate to about 50% of what they are asking for it. Phone Post

I have a business buddy that lives there and i fly over every few months. It is one of the worst places in the world i have ever been to, and i have been to some real shitholes. Like i said, don't leave the hotel grounds and you should be ok. 

role model - I gave a jamaican 20 bucks and he gave me what must have been a half ounce of chronic. I was incredibly baked my whole time there. Phone Post
True story the weed seems to grow as a tree there for 50 I got a branch.

Weed and Jamaica is paradise Phone Post 3.0

Brandable -


I have a business buddy that lives there and i fly over every few months. It is one of the worst places in the world i have ever been to, and i have been to some real shitholes. Like i said, don't leave the hotel grounds and you should be ok. 

Fuck man either you're really desolate or an asshole. Either way its a gorgeous place to be and it sets the standard high for a not too expensive spot that's actually really nice Phone Post

I'm neither, but i guess our experiences differ. 

Will early June be too hot or rainy? Does anyone know? Phone Post 3.0

I am leaving Jamaica in a couple hours. Great trip. I did not go off the resort, no need to.

Spent every day on a nude beach. The nude beach was spectacular at times, crappy other times. Some old women with killer bodies. One woman was well in to her 50's had spectacular tits. I think she had a breast lift done, they were just perfectly shaped....and huge. Apparently, German women believe in a complete shave.....which is well appreciated.

The wife and I went to couples tower island Jamaica in 2011 for our honeymoon. The resort was a little on the old side but the staff was very friendly and the views were fantastic. Cost us right around $5k for round trip flights, 7 day stay, and all food and drinks included. They give you scars to fill out what liquors you want in your room and they drop them off daily. Wife and I would order breakfast in bed with mamosas(?) everyday. It does get a little boring after a few days of staying on site with the limited activities available, but they offer Tons of activities off site which cost extra $ and you will be drivin through some sketchy places, but we never felt threaten. I would look @ couples swept away or even sandals Montego Bay based on how close they were to the airport. Couples tower isle was over a hour from the airport. Phone Post 3.0