Thanks for all of the responses. I will work on implementing some suggestions, talk to my coach, and go from there. 
good luck,just get a sweat going before your match
listen 12, i don't take advice from a guy whose child lost in competition to a former baker with a silly haircut
Veek,
I am getting some perspective on this now. You are so totally right.
After some contemplation, i definitely feel like during the last match there were three crucial situations where i did not know what to do - and they were all crucial events in the match that all pretty much resulted in me losing points or major position.
I need to pick an option for each of those situations and drill them a lot!
I'm not gonna lie, i've been feeling pretty bad about this all day but now i'm starting to feel like it was a blessing in disguise.
i will revamp my gameplan to eliminate the gaping holes that the last match revealed. I will learn about sports psychology. I will compete this year for the first time, and i will set a goal to win a match in competition this year.
Thanks again everyone for your responses. Yes, even you, 12.
Hey Veek,
What is a framed micro deadline at intervals?
How do you assign yourself a rhythm?
How does the pace of the match dictate the beat?
Do we subconsciously get into rhythms with our opponent during a match, which we can then recognize and break to gain an advantage? Is that what you mean?
I have to say, I am confused by your terminology when you talk about rhythm, tempo, and beat in the context of BJJ. Can you elaborate?
Thanks!
The Gimp - listen 12, i don't take advice from a guy whose child lost in competition to a former baker with a silly haircut
i can understand that
As you said, you subconsciously get into a shared rhythm with your opponent that may or may not favor your playing style. If you're not proactive about it, you're not sure if the pace will suit you.
If your opponent is the wild type, you might need to hold him down to be able to set the pace to which youre comfortable. If he is the slow and grinding type, you might need to do the opposite. You dont want to simply react to the current action he is doing, but you need to be able to have an idea of the rate of action he is at because that determines if your projected chain of techniques will be effective because it is determined partially by time.
So to answer your first 2 questions:
What is a framed micro deadline at intervals?
As a brown belt, its not my duty to smash the lower belts all the time in practice. I let them play, but that has its limits before it becomes unrealistic. I know when i have to do something, and my cue card is when my opponent is starting to do wasted movements ( ie effort that have no real return). I can count to three movements then i start doing something.
How do you assign yourself a rhythm?
Its on a by case basis, and depends partially on your athleticism. Against a lower belt, my rhythm can be slow because i dont expect them to see through my defense quickly. Against a person my level, i dont have such an insurance so i need to react quicker. If i wait too long to do something, it gives more time for my opponent to analyze me and make an effective chain of action.
Anyways i hope it gives you an idea of what i mean.
It does! Thank you for explaining.
I think your situation is just a combination of a few common issues that people run into in BJJ. If I may, here is a way to quickly turn the entire thing around:
1) First, define a gameplan. Make it as small as possible, in terms of quantity of moves. Here's an example of a small gameplan:
Goal - take the back and finish RNC
Clinch - underhook to single leg takedown
Passing - pass over the leg with the far knee. watch for opportunity to take the back if he goes to knees.
On top of mount - move up high, wrap the arm around the head, take the back.
On top of side - mount, or let him turn to knees and take the back.
Turtle - use knee switch sweep to off balance him and take the back.
Guard - drag the arm and take the back. if he is defensive, attack the neck until the arm drag presents itself.
Back - RNC
On bottom (mount, side, etc) - escape to guard and look for the arm drag right away
Do you get the feel for exactly how small this gameplan is? It's very focused. Step 1 is to write out a gameplan like this for yourself. It should include some of your best skills, and a couple that you want to develop. (If competition is right around the corner, then make it entirely out of strong skills.)
2) Once you write out your gameplan, attach dates to it. The first time I did this, I was a blue belt. I played nothing but half guard (with only three sweeps) for 9 months. I was incensed over a tournament loss because I lacked sufficient skill in half guard, and it kept me motivated to develop half guard for quite some time. My students and I experimented with different timespans, and ultimately my advice is to use 90 days.
So write up a plan (physically put it on paper), and then for 90 days, these are the only things you're allowed to do when sparring. I humbly suggest first quarter 2014, since we are right here at the beginning of it. What could you accomplish by March 31st if you start today?
3) At the end of the 90 days, evaluate the progress you've made. If you benefitted sufficiently, then do it again. One year, I did three consecutive quarters with very narrow gameplans like this (I was a purple belt). Those parts of my game went through the roof. I managed to develop parts of my game that were previously very weak, and make them my best stuff. It was awesome. I also did it for 3 months at brown belt and forbade myself to use any of my best submissions. For 90 days, I went for leglocks only, because I realized I didn't use them much anymore. In those 90 days, I learned why, which lead to MASSIVE breakthroughs in understanding the nature of my game, and why my strengths are what they are.
This challenge I've thrown down is not an easy one, but it's worth it. It will demand that you practice focusing, and that's something fairly uncommon in this BJJ world ("When do we roll?"). If you choose to go this road, though, it will pay off major dividends.
Good training to you,
~Chris
twinkletoesCT -
I think your situation is just a combination of a few common issues that people run into in BJJ. If I may, here is a way to quickly turn the entire thing around:
1) First, define a gameplan. Make it as small as possible, in terms of quantity of moves. Here's an example of a small gameplan:
Goal - take the back and finish RNC
Clinch - underhook to single leg takedown
Passing - pass over the leg with the far knee. watch for opportunity to take the back if he goes to knees.
On top of mount - move up high, wrap the arm around the head, take the back.
On top of side - mount, or let him turn to knees and take the back.
Turtle - use knee switch sweep to off balance him and take the back.
Guard - drag the arm and take the back. if he is defensive, attack the neck until the arm drag presents itself.
Back - RNC
On bottom (mount, side, etc) - escape to guard and look for the arm drag right away
Do you get the feel for exactly how small this gameplan is? It's very focused. Step 1 is to write out a gameplan like this for yourself. It should include some of your best skills, and a couple that you want to develop. (If competition is right around the corner, then make it entirely out of strong skills.)
2) Once you write out your gameplan, attach dates to it. The first time I did this, I was a blue belt. I played nothing but half guard (with only three sweeps) for 9 months. I was incensed over a tournament loss because I lacked sufficient skill in half guard, and it kept me motivated to develop half guard for quite some time. My students and I experimented with different timespans, and ultimately my advice is to use 90 days.
So write up a plan (physically put it on paper), and then for 90 days, these are the only things you're allowed to do when sparring. I humbly suggest first quarter 2014, since we are right here at the beginning of it. What could you accomplish by March 31st if you start today?
3) At the end of the 90 days, evaluate the progress you've made. If you benefitted sufficiently, then do it again. One year, I did three consecutive quarters with very narrow gameplans like this (I was a purple belt). Those parts of my game went through the roof. I managed to develop parts of my game that were previously very weak, and make them my best stuff. It was awesome. I also did it for 3 months at brown belt and forbade myself to use any of my best submissions. For 90 days, I went for leglocks only, because I realized I didn't use them much anymore. In those 90 days, I learned why, which lead to MASSIVE breakthroughs in understanding the nature of my game, and why my strengths are what they are.
This challenge I've thrown down is not an easy one, but it's worth it. It will demand that you practice focusing, and that's something fairly uncommon in this BJJ world ("When do we roll?"). If you choose to go this road, though, it will pay off major dividends.
Good training to you,
~Chris
Great advice!
I just realized I left off the obvious one.
4) When you compete, STICK TO YOUR GAMEPLAN!
:)
Cheers.
Chris,
Thanks for the super-detailed response!
I have a gameplan but guess what? It was missing a goal! At the risk of TMI, my plan is below.
My only question is what happens if you are too focused on one tactic to the exclusion of others? In the past when I have chosen to use "one move" from a position, sometimes i lose the opportunity to hit other moves because I'm so focused on that move! What do you think about that?
==
GOAL: side control, paper cutter series. mount, americana series.
STANDING: posture; pummel / handfight
PASSING
Knee slice
force half guard
opportunistic arm triangles
SIDE: paper cutter series
MOUNT: americana series
GUARD
posture, distance management
fight for wrists and go 2-on-1
all of their grips give me the 2-on-1
TURTLE: pull to rear corner
BOTTOM: escape to knees, then to guard
Edited to simplify even more:
GOAL: mount, americana series.
STANDING: basic handfighting / pummeling game
PASSING: Knee slice
GUARD
posture, distance management
fight for wrists and go for armdrag
all of their grips give me the armdrag
SIDE: control, go to mount
MOUNT: americana series
Please don't say you can dominate people with "one hand behind your back" and but you magically lose when they are actually trying. That is ridiculous.
The Gimp,
I dig it! Two things I'd suggest:
1) I like your most simplified one. Do make sure all of your paths lead to the same finish. Where does your armdrag series go? Make it somehow lead with the Mount, and I think you'll be in good shape.
2) To answer your question, YES this will make you miss opportunities to do other things. YES sometimes you will be trying to make one thing happen while other, easier openings are happening. For the purposes of this exercise, you are choosing to omit those things. You are learning to FOCUS (which, by definition means to exclude all else), and you are focusing for the purpose of elevating some parts of your game to the next level.
Sure, you could just "do that other thing that's presenting itself", but I bet it'll feel cheap afterwards. You'll feel guilty for just having done "the easy thing" instead of pushing these parts of your game to progress. I know this because I've done it. I've jumped off of my gameplan, often out of frustration, and then immediately regretted it because I knew I was cheating myself the opportunity to really make the progress I wanted.
So knuckle down and ride it out. If you're actually able to do it, I think you'll be really pleased with the results. And do post here when you do!
PS - Please, for the love of Helio, don't do what one of my blue belts once did. He decided to spend a lot more time improving his side escapes, so I encouraged him to start every roll from under the side and work from there. At the end of one class, he said to me "I really feel like I'm making tremendous progress. I spent the entire day under the side. I didn't leave there once!" I had to explain to him, at that point, that we was supposed to actually be successfully escaping. I'm not sure he caught on...
This is good advice. I often change my deadlines depending on who I am playing with. Someone better than me my deadlines become very, very short. Then depending on the skill level and what I am working on I can play out slack in that same deadline. 
That was meant to quote veek
twinkletoesCT - The Gimp,This also, is great advice. Even to this day, if im working on something and abandon it from in favor of the easy sub I feel guilty. Lol yes, it is fun and easy to play catch as catch can, but it takes true discipline, skill and strategy to be able to accomplish a very specific thing. Especially against someone closer in skill to you.
I dig it! Two things I'd suggest:
1) I like your most simplified one. Do make sure all of your paths lead to the same finish. Where does your armdrag series go? Make it somehow lead with the Mount, and I think you'll be in good shape.
2) To answer your question, YES this will make you miss opportunities to do other things. YES sometimes you will be trying to make one thing happen while other, easier openings are happening. For the purposes of this exercise, you are choosing to omit those things. You are learning to FOCUS (which, by definition means to exclude all else), and you are focusing for the purpose of elevating some parts of your game to the next level.
Sure, you could just "do that other thing that's presenting itself", but I bet it'll feel cheap afterwards. You'll feel guilty for just having done "the easy thing" instead of pushing these parts of your game to progress. I know this because I've done it. I've jumped off of my gameplan, often out of frustration, and then immediately regretted it because I knew I was cheating myself the opportunity to really make the progress I wanted.
So knuckle down and ride it out. If you're actually able to do it, I think you'll be really pleased with the results. And do post here when you do!
PS - Please, for the love of Helio, don't do what one of my blue belts once did. He decided to spend a lot more time improving his side escapes, so I encouraged him to start every roll from under the side and work from there. At the end of one class, he said to me "I really feel like I'm making tremendous progress. I spent the entire day under the side. I didn't leave there once!" I had to explain to him, at that point, that we was supposed to actually be successfully escaping. I'm not sure he caught on...
I will say, however, that there is an art to plucking the submissions from the roll as they appear. It too is something to practice. I feel like some guys neglect this aspect.
As a blue who experiences similar anxiety issues when competing thanks to everyone for posting. OP You might surprise yourself in a competition against strangers. I've had similar problems rolling at in house competitions against people I can usually manage well. I subconsciously put extra pressure on myself to meet expectations in front of my peers. That can lead to me tensing up and hanging on to defensive positions rather than be aggressive which is when I have greater success.
grips....be first. changes everything. from passive to aggressive....