well we just had our first child and for the past couple of weeks its been absolutely nearly impossible to get along. even with me doing a big majority of the work around the house. is this a pretty serious issue that can cause alot of trouble? its been by far the low point of our relationship so far. does it usually play out after a while? id like to hear if u guys had any experiences like that because i feel almost helpless in doing anything. im sure her excercising would help. any other suggestions?
Take her to a psychologist, man. PPD is pretty common and can be devastating to the whole family, but like other kinds of depression it's treatable with medication and counseling. Post partem psychosis is much more rare but it does happen- this is what caused that one lady to drown her children.
When you say 'don't get along', what do you mean?
Are you fighting? I don't think depressed people really fight so much as they tend to shut down. I know because I've had clinically depressed people who were close to me.
Is she breast feeding? That right there makes me glad I'm a man. Going months with little more than a couple hours of sleep at a time would drive me INSANE!! Don't expect her to warm up to the exercise idea at this point with as little sleep as she's probably getting.
The first couple of months is the worst; kid won't sleep more than a couple hours (if they do, you're in there every 15 minutes making sure they're not dead!), mom has to breast feed, you're doing the lion's share of housework, etc. It can seem almost impossible for either one of you to get your feet back under you.
A follow-up with her OB/GYN is prolly a good idea before going right to a shrink. Most OB/GYNs are trained to diagnose PPD and will be able to help her out in some way (it might be a referral to a shrink if it's bad enough).
Hang in there!! You'll come to be amazed at what you can do on little to no sleep!!
P.S. Whatever you do, stay away from iBelieve's depression thread.
post partum depression can be devestating to the whole family. Its great that you are doing the lions share of the work. You should really do your best to be attentive to her needs right now. If you think that the issue needs professional attention, then by all means get it. I have had experience with this and it could possibly contribute to the downfall of your relationship as was in my case with my ex, and even lead to abuse and neglect of the child (Andrea Yates). If this is a problem then it needs to be addressed.
get your wife out of the house and get her active. i don't know if you live where it's cold right now, but have her walk at the mall, or go to the gym.
this time of year is the worst for seasonal affective disorder. add ppd to that and you have one miserable woman.
we had a daughter four months ago and i got my wife to go to the gym (i watch the demon while she goes) and even enlisted one of her friends to go with her. we even go to the mall together (we live in michigan) just to walk.
i gained weight when she was pregnant, so it's pretty much a team effort.