Pretjah’s D&D Campaign THE BUTCHERS RIDE AGAIN!

Update

“Arlech, between gater guts and baby jewelry you’re going to be a rich man” - Gilbert

We join the gang as they explore an old, unused part of San Jammar’s sewers looking for a way down to the old cities San Jammar was built upon.

They just battled their way through a tribe of goblins scared of rape and a coven of hags and enter a new part of the sewers.

Upon entering this part of the sewer they find a few crocodiles. Kelren attempts to befriend them but a slip from barsat causes the crocs to attack. During the battle with the crocodiles some sort of strange oozes also attack The Butchers. Curly chops the large ooze into smaller ones for experience farming and Alrech finds an undigested bag of beans the the stomach of one of the dead crocs (barsat finds something too…).

After harvesting the crocs for useful meat the gang continues through the sewers. They are forced to walk in the water so Gilbert casts a water walking spell to make life easier (and less gross) for the gang.

They find a chamber with what looks like a way down but it’s full of some strange vegetation amd some sort of strange floating orbs. Gilbert turns invisible to investigate the room but the short members of the group can see what’s going on.

Gilbert triggers some sort of plant shambling mound things amd a battle ensues . Both kelren and Gilbert are engulfed at points during the fight only to be saved when they were hit with errant blows from Grimple and Curly respectively (or something like that).

We leave the gang deciding what to do next as they take a long rest and gather themselves to descend into the old cities of San Jammar or maybe they’ll decide to move some barrels or something.

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fyYs
Pretty wild night partying with the snuffleupagus

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Update

Let the love of Smrt flow allll over you.

We find the gang resting after a battle with some shambling mounds and a few other nastiest.

They rest and recover and Barsat finds out his new bag isn’t just a bag after all.

Then they need to find their way down a large hole. Not knowing what’s down there Kelren turns into a flying snake. He flies down the hole to discover it leads into a large underground cavern containing a very large lake.

The gang uses some water walk and feather fall to get down. They find themselves in a small fishing village full of Snuffleupagus or was it svirfneblin? Whatever…the drink some sort of mushroom beer that and party (and the DM regales a story of eating lsd in Tennessee and watching Stevie wonder).

Curly affirms his affinity to smrt and Gilbert finds out they might be heading towards a city of undead…but not before they have to cross some other underground lake that is supposedly habituated by a monster.

We leave the gang at the entrance to the lake with a giant elk, a panther and a weasel who can all walk on water thanks to good ol’ Gilbert.

Tune in next time to find out if I wrote the update last second because I kind of got lazy and put it off like I am right now!!

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Kelren found his calling last night
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Always a bit depressing when I see Pretjah’s name in posts. RIP

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We were reminiscing about pretjah and how much better he is at DMing than I am last night.

Update

“Why don’t you suplex it you piece of shit” -Kelren Bung

We find the gang standing on the banks of an underground lake that supposedly holds some sort of terrible monster.

As they look around they start to realize that they are not only at a lake but they’re also in some sort of temple.

Gilbert lights up Kelren’s elk’s antlers and they walk it all over the lake (Gilbert also cast water walk on the party) to have a look around. They then move out to an island in the middle of the lake to find it was some sort of shrine and alter to some tentacled beasts or something.

They are confronted by what appear to be apparitions of the beasts and then Kelren goes on to draw many dicks on the shrine. Forty three to be exact. Many of them hidden.

The gang then crosses the lake to get to the exit only to find themselves under attack from a charmed curly, Arlech and one of the beasts that the temple seems to be build for.

During the battle both charmed members were uncharmed and the beast was nearly slain. It narrowly escaped to the depths of the lake.

Gilbert finds out that he’s been stricken with some sort of disease he can’t cure and his skin turns translucent. He also seems to need to stay moist or he’ll take damage.

Angry and upset The Butchers decided to finish the beast so they wouldn’t have to worry about running into it on the return journey home. Gilbert is able to use a spell to locate it and Kelren does his best biblical character impersonation and parts the lake’s waters. I would’ve thought he’d have tried to turn water to liquor of some sort but whatever.

Finding the beast trying to escape into a lair at the bottom of the lake the gang (Barsat ) finishes it off.

The gang sets out to find the lost city of Las Vegas. One of the old cities San Jammar was built upon.

Tune in next time to find out if Gilbert can keep himself moist, or if he’ll need the rest of the gang to provide him with fluids when required…

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Also, there seems to be a big black curse on Curly’s face from when he suplexed Kelren.

A big veiny black curse

image
Curse? What curse?

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Update

I didn’t really write one so this will be quick.

We find the gang just entering the city of Las Vegas in search of the star of San Jammar.

They discover that the city is full of undead some are even friendly.

They get told to talk to “the king of Las Vegas” and he’s deeper into the city past the unfriendly undead.

The gang scries tombstones gang (they beat up the butchers pretty bad a while back).

They fight some vampires while having to stay safe on a small strip of leather in the road.

That’s it.

Check in next time to see if I forget to write the update until last second!

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Phew!

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Update

The Great Zombie Slaughter!

We find the gang making their way to find the king of Las Vegas.

Having just defeated a small band of vampires the gang decided they don’t need rest and press on. They stay to the leather inlaid on the ground and the zombie and undead horde seems to ignore them.

They are then attacked by more vampires hunting the fresh meat within their city.

During the battle Arlech was felled by a vampire bite and the vampire tried to drag him off to join their army of undead. Luckily Gilbert was able to stop the kidnapping and heal Arlech bring him back from the brink of death.

At one point Barsat is charmed by a vampire and runs off the protection of the leather on the road to attack Grimple. This triggers the zombie horde to go after Barsat.

The gang dispatched of the vampires and Grimple seeing barsat’s zombie predicament steps off the path too.

Now the zombies are trying to get both dwarves.

Gilbert realizes he can cast his spirit guardians and basically become a zombie wood chipper for a while.

The gang makes their way farther into the city but decides they better rest.

The use their spare clothes and whatnot to lay out a floor in a house and try to rest.

Barsat decides he’s ready to move on in his paladin training and starts to dump his levels into that.

We leave the gang preparing to continue deeper into the city of the undead. Tune in next time to see if Barsat survives long enough to see level two of his paladin training.

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We have players missing from our party right now so we’ve changed channels. Stay tuned for our regular programming in another week or two.

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Meanwhile, while you guys wait….
Metal Head Rock GIF by Bax Music

jackie chan GIF

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Taking a quick break from our adventures in San Jammar, to do some side-quests. We like to do our one-shots in a realm where real humans get thrust into a D&D setting just to add to some of the fun in building one-off characters. The intention is to take a real-life profession and tie it into a D&D class or subclass (e.g. A beekeeper would be a “swarmkeeper” ranger, a life coach could be a cleric etc…)

That being said, let me introduce Dean and Chuck. Dean and Chuck are Lightkeepers over at the lighthouse. They work for the city and their union break is coming up. However in order to take their break they need to make it off the lighthouse island and a storm is rolling in unusually fast. We fought for these breaks, so there is no way we are missing them. Gotta get off the island ASAP…

Dean is a metal band ace who can play any and all instruments; usually rocking the local union hangout with his bandmates. Dean is a College of Lore Bard who uses the power of rock; He can play a rocking guitar solo that can summon a swarm of bats and also fling his guitar picks with deadly accuracy.

Chuck is what you could term as the muscle. Chuck knew what his life passion was at the ripe age of 14 when he landed his first issue of black-belt magazine. Ever since then he absorbed all of the martial arts knowledge you could find by checking books out of the library and by scouring YouTube, absorbing all of the death-touch seminars you could watch. He could show you how, but it would seriously injure you if he went full-ki with it. Chuck is a Way of the Drunken Master Monk, who spends all day drinking spiked Boba tea (just like sensei) and practicing with his bo-staff. He can don a headband and sweatpants that would make you think twice about getting a roundhouse kicked in the face.

Upon gathering their things to prepare for their exit from the lighthouse Dean and Chuck hear a knock coming from the front entrance. Chuck assumes this must be Varr, the gang’s companion who also procures all of their illicit goods. He was just packing up the boat to get everyone out fast. As Chuck opens the front door there is instead a group of tall scaled bi-pedal green things with tails. Long claws, pointed teeth and equipped with Spike shields and heavy clubs, Dean quickly deduces that these must be metal-head cosplayers (he’s seen them before while on tour, they’re crazy man!) Unfortunately, these cosplayers are demanding to be let into the lighthouse; but not with Chuck standing in their way.

Combat kicks off as the union brothers must combat these Metal-head cosplayers, some weird moving rocks and eventually metal-head cosplayers wearing crowns and with exposed genitalia. Chucks puts his drunken kung-fu to use, becoming nearly untouchable as cosplayer after cosplayer swings and misses, up until enough are gathered up so that Dean can blast them with a mighty Death-Metal scream. Just as Dean and Chuck make their way to the boat the last thing in their path that just lands is a Blu-tooth Dragon (man that thing would look sweet on the side of the van).

Varr shows up with his trusty dog (named STD) and is able to supply some powdered haste for Chuck to use, just you …you know…get his head straight. He needs to focus.

A few lightning strikes, lightning breath, some fireballs, and bo-staff strikes later the dragon is felled and the union’s boys make it to the boat (not to mention a quick phone call with Don the Supervisor) who is recommending them for drug testing as soon as they get back.

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@TheChief
@Mayfield

That sounded like a good time!

I think there’s a supplement dedicated to “Level 0” characters that might be of interest. Mundane classes that grow into badass adventurers.

try using some of the AI image generators for content. my DnD group is enjoying it.

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DM last night….

Animated GIF

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