PWE WAR IS RAW 2/11/13 **Spoilers inside**


Hello everyone in the PWE universe and welcome to PWE WAR IS RAW coming to you live from studios! I’m your host Cleveland Mcsteamer and along side of me as always is my co-host Orangutan Tsunami! Ladies and gentleman last week we brought you action and excitement that you can only get here in the PWE AND THIS WEEK WE BRING YOU MORE OF THE SAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let’s head to the ring to hear from the chairman of the board the one and only Kirik Mcmahon!

-KM heads down to the ring and discusses the possible invasion from Natural selection and says he for one welcomes our new overlords but the crowd is confused as their short attention spans can’t help hem remember last week let alone remember the PWE originals. Kirik McMahon leaves the ring to leave us wondering what will happen!
The first match of the night is here and we have a six man tag team match!! Driscoll, bigironmike79 and ronnininthebox are taking on spinningbackfael, Barak Lesnar and T Sauce. Driscoll and Barak Lesnar start the match off in a hurry and put on a beautiful display of technical wrestling! Arm bars toe holds, Irish whips are plenty but Driscoll finally gains the upper hand with an African uppercut! He tags in Bigironmike79 who charges in the ring and looks ready for business but falls down and is out of breath as soon as he reaches Barak Lesnar. Lesnar makes the tag and spinningbackfael takes the advantage and puts a savage beating on Bigironmike79 who keeps asking for a time out to catch his breath but to no avail. Ronnininthebox has seen enough and comes flying off the top rope but spiiningbackfael catches his tiny boy body and throws his out of the ring and into the crowd! Its 3 ON 2 but driscoll heads into the ring and batters both T Sauce and spinningbackfael till both are laid out and not moving. It’s down to 2 ON 1 but it might as well be a singles match as bigironmike79 is still very winded and not fit to wrestle. Driscoll and Barak Lesnar start to beat each other to pieces and Driscoll knocks out the PWE official on an irish whip from Lesnar. Lesnar takes a chair and lays waste to Driscoll with several chair shots that make Mick Foley smile!! Lesnar is attempting to revive the ref and he looks to getting up but bigironmike79 comes from behind and rolls up Lesnar for the 1-2-3!!!!  My God what a match!  T Sauce is not happy and after the match beats the living hell out of Bigironmike79 and walks out of the arena while Ronininthebox is crowd surfed all the way back to the dressing room
Our next match should be a good one its TheOne vs InstantKarma!!!!! Both men are in the ring but TheOne attacks before the bell is rung. He gains a quick upper hand but InstantKarma fights back. Karma body slams TheOne  and that looked painful. Karma climbs the rope goes for the elbow drop but TheOne moves out of the way!!!!!! TheOne get back to his feet and starts mudhole stomping TheOne.He drags him to the corner and gives him a stiff superplex!!!!! Karma is looking hurt and I don’t see a way out TheOne is on fire!!! Karma is trying to regain some steam but looks beat. TheOne sends him into the ropes and then slaps on the sleeper hold… the ref is asking if karma wants to give up but he looks determined!!!!!!! He fires off some elbows into the midsection and breaks the hold. Karma then hits him with a hurricanrana and we have a match people!!!!!! Karma stands him up and double axehandles him into oblivion. TheOne looks battered  and Karma is about to finish him off! He goes for a chokeslam but TheOne  rolls it into an armbar!!!!! Karma taps out and ThOne is the winner!!!

-The video package of Salute to the troops plays on the Titantron plays as we several PWE stars paying a visit to the men in uniform. And the Armed services were so happy that their biggest star Major Dale Fuego was there! He shook hands kissed baby’s and cut one of his famous promos and told everyone “Vote Republican Faggots!” While drying off from his shower using the American Flag! * The PWE’S contract for Salute to the troops was terminated after the visit*

-We head to the back with our locker room correspondent Tony Shablowme “Ladies and gentlemen we are still waiting for the arrival of Natural Selection but we have found out the locker room is divided! Some of the guys want to welcome then while others want to get them away. All I know is the battle lines and coke lines are being formed and snorted (we don’t do that weak meth shit around here) and soon we will see what the future of the PWE holds!”  back to you guys at ringside!

-Wnky isWright heads Down to the ring with mic in hand “Last week my “Partner” and I were the baddest tag team on the planet! But when he hit me with read my lipsI knew our time was over! So now we go our separate ways but I want to send word and put PWE on notice! To all you boys in the back get ready for the biggest star to rise in the history of PWE!!!” FOG music hits and RML heads down to ringside and both begin chatting off mic. All of the sudden Winky hits RML WITH THE MIC!!!!!!!! Winky takes his former partner and puts him in the torture rack! Literally as RML was getting beaten a torture rack machine was brought to the ring! What a crappy promo by the writing staff only to segway into the separation of the greatest tag team in PWE history!
All the sudden as Winky is putting the finishing touches on RML out comes Freddie Strong the former Smackdown GM. “Whoa Whoa Whoa playa! hold on a click clacking rope a dope figgy wiggy minute! If you two are gonna fight it will be done right! Next week here on WAR you two in a singles match in the main event for the tag team titles’! RML shoots a confused look to his former partner and the look is returned.”That’s right it’s a one on one match and the winner takes control of the belts and can name a partner of his choosing! NOW CAN YOU DIG THAT PLAYA!” RML and Winky stare down for their epic battle next week!

UGCTT_ozzy and Sofa King Cool make their way to the ring to take on torubu and mattloveslamp
.Matt was severely beaten at the hands of three unknown assailants and does not look to be 100% the match gets underway and ozzy and sofa take the early advantage and use some major tag team maneuvers to get the upper hand. Matt is in the corner and picks up and slams torubu and makes his way over to help his partner. Sofa King Cool is trying desperately to fight off a massive assault but starts to get overpowered. Double power bomb on sofa and Ozzy comes in to stop it but gets wrecked! The early advantage is gone and now it’s turning into a job match! Both torubu and matt are smiling and Sofa king comes up to torubu and LOW BLOWS HIM!!!!!! Sofa King starts pounding away!!!!! is this a comeback in the making???? Torubu looks to stop the assault but he is clotheslined by the king. Sofa king and Ozzy pick matt and hit him with the pain transfer!!! The crowd is going NUTS!!!!! Matt comes back in hits a drop kick on both sofa and ozzy to stop the momentum. Matt is setting up Sofa for the LAMP SHADE! And he hits it! Ozzy comes in for the save and Torubu hits him with the spear and matt covers Sofa for pin fall!!!!!!

Violent Guy and his new manager DHG head to the ring and await the arrival of myunclescreepy. but MUC Is not coming out for his match where is he??? DHG grabs the mic
“Creepy had sort of an accident in the locker room today he ran into my path of violence!!!! Did he really think he was ready for ViolentGuy??? Was he that stupid???? The answer is yes he is” Violent guy smiles with Evil intent! ‘get a ref out here and count him out! The ref starts a count 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8  Creepy appears from under the ring with a baseball bat and slams it into the face of DHG!!!!! ViolentGuy is not pleased and grabs Creepy and goes for the spinning toe blow and misses! Creepy sends him into the corner and lights off lefts and rights!!!! Not to be out done Violent Guy pushes him off and hits him pipe wrench he had stashed in his pants!!! We know now what that bulge wasn’t!!!! Creepy is in pain and now with DHG cheering him on Violentguy starts the onslaught. He is tossing Creepy all around the ring hitting him with every weapon he can get his sadistic hands on. Creepy is hurt! DHG begins helping ViolentGuy and now this is just a gangland beat down!!!!  Creepy tries crawl away from the onslaught ViolentGuy grabs  His leg and creepy kicks him off and gets up and heads to the back DHG and Violent Guy Follow BUT WAIT A DAMN MINUTE! Natural selection is on the back and ambush all three of the competitors!!!!! DSaint, Artminaj, Nuckinfuts and Armbarheelhook take turns on on all three guys and it’s just messy. Creepy ViolentGuy and DHG are laid out this match is over what a sad finish to such a violent match!!!!!! !!! Natural Selection throws them a towel and is headed to the ring!!!!!!!

Jobber THABADGUY is standing in the ring and is scared shitless now that he sees Natural Selection coming down. They surround the ring and THABADGUY does not know what to do. Dsaint hops in and kicks him in the face!!! Oh God this will get ugly. Dsaint is relentless!!! He picks BADGUY and slams him into the canvas with a running power slam. Nuckin Art and Heel Hook are laughing at this poor showing of THABADGUY!!!!! He is begging for mercy but Dsaint shows none and finishes him with a guitar shot and shoves an Oscar Myer wiener in his mouth!!!!! Natural Selection takes the ring over…. “We warned the PWE universe that we were coming back!!!!!” “None of you listened, instead of welcoming us so we decided to welcome you.” Things are about to change here and we will bring the roster to its knees!

“I warned all you not to come here!!! You want to blindside attack guys in a match how about I come down there and make all you OBEY ME!!!!!! OBEY charges to the ring but he is severely out numbered!!! He slides into the ring but ART and Nuckin are having none of it and proceed to beat the piss out of him. Armbarheelhook joins in while Dsaint just laughs in the corner
HOLD UP HOLD UP!!!!!!! DHG COMES OUT AND IS SIGNALING FOR SOMETHING!!!! ITS ViolentGuy and Myunclescreepy coming in to even the odds!!!! They slide in to the ring and start laying waste to Art and Nuckin!!!!!! Art tries to rally but is thrown out of the ring and then blasted by DHG!!!!!!!! Dsaint tries to go for ViolentGuy but he hits the spinning toe Blow!!!!!!!! Armbarheelhook comes to his aid and is going at it with ViolentGuy. Nuckin is up and he and Armbarheelhook are teaming on ViolentGuy. Creepy tries to save but is tackled by Dsaint who recovers from the toe blow…. Natural Selection seems to be gaining the upper hand but WAIT its THE PWE champion heading down to the ring!!!!!!!!!! IT’S THE GRIZZ!!!!! Grizz starts laying waste to the remaining members and Creepy is back to help!!! OBEY is back up and puts a beating on Armbarheelhook!!!! Natural Selection is out of the ring and they look unhappy!!!!!!!! MY GOD WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN IN THIS AFTERMATH!!!!!!!!

That’s all the time we have folks WE WILL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!!


The era of TheOne has begun.

Oh my dude. Had the most absolutely super shitty day at work. Come home, get ready to drink a beer and watch raw.... And then come to find out that this curtain jerkin semi retard jobber(pointing thumbs to himself like rvd) pulls off the 123!! Good show dude. Cured my case of the Mondays. Thank you! Bwahhhhh!!!!! Triple elbow drop to the latest wwe magazine, then proceeds to eat all 4 turnbuckles. And then all 8 other turnbuckles buffet style in the middle of this very ring. Your welcome! Phone Post

Sorry bout the shitty page breaks guys

Sofa King Cool - 

So you mean to tell me that Sofa King Cool, the reigning, defending, undisputed Television Champion of the world lays down clean in a tag match for some jobber I've never heard of?

No wonder this company is in the shape is in. Phone Post

Im new to the PWF give me sometime ill be writing amazing shows in the future :)

MyUnclesCreepy - 
Sofa King Cool - 

So you mean to tell me that Sofa King Cool, the reigning, defending, undisputed Television Champion of the world lays down clean in a tag match for some jobber I've never heard of?

No wonder this company is in the shape is in. Phone Post

Im new to the PWF give me sometime ill be writing amazing shows in the future :)

Whens the PPV?

we have one more war left then ppv

How do you like dem apples karma lol


*GRIZZ, DHG, Violent "The Hammer" Guy, UGCTT_OBEY and MyUnclesCreepy step out of MyUnclesCreepy's Rapin' Van*

*Violent "The Hammer" Guy spits blood into camera lens*

*DHG smiles bloody smile*

DHG: Now that's more like it.

A brotherhood forged in the fires of violence and pain.

It's no secret that Grizz and I have never seen eye to eyepatch, but lemme tell you boys, he JUMPED at the chance to put a hurt on you, Natural Selection.

You pendejos just got a full serving of shit sandwich, and I hope you're hungry, because Violent "The Hammer" Guy just cooked up a whole mess of it.

MyUnclesCreepy came to fight tonight, I'll give him that. If I had to tangle with him back in the day, I would have had to retire years ago.

Hat's off.

*The five saunter into a strip club, and order bottle service.*

MyUnclesCreepy -

we have one more war left then ppv

I demand another match with The One before our PPV showdown. That goddamn ref of yours screwed me on a slow count and then claimed I tapped out when I clearly did not. This show was more screwed up than a soup sandwich. Phone Post

TheOne - How do you like dem apples karma lol

Keep digging...revenge is best served cold Phone Post


instantkarma - 
MyUnclesCreepy -

we have one more war left then ppv

I demand another match with The One before our PPV showdown. That goddamn ref of yours screwed me on a slow count and then claimed I tapped out when I clearly did not. This show was more screwed up than a soup sandwich. Phone Post

You think the ref screwed you?

Last Man Standing at PPV, no referee, let the fans count to 10.

I promise you wont last.

I want to punch someone's teeth out the back of their neck. Next week any of you Natural Selection chumps want your toe spun and blown, just step up. With DHG in my corner it's gonna get violent. puts on "I'm a DGH guy shirt" Phone Post

wait until the LOL squad debut, this is bigger then NWO, DX, Nexus and the Shield combined.

puts on "I'm a DHG guy" shirt The voice of the violent. Phone Post

That's right. I'm so drunk I did it twice. Phone Post

And here I am, hanging around a titty bar with a man in two shirts.