To all readers,

My question pertains to the "Defuse" aspect of the Three D's. When in a situation when attacker is brandishing a weapon, or any other violent attack i.e. rapist/mugger/killer, I would assume there is a psychology to support what to say or what not to say in order to hopefully defuse the attacker. Any insight into this subject would be greatly appreciated.

Thank You,

Scott Boyce


Have you re-listened to the three audios? Pay close attention to the sections on choice speech and post your thoughts. Remember, there's no magic cookie.



Aside of re-viewing the audios, manual and class notes, my only other suggestions are these...

Know your opponent...what do they want? what don't they want! what's the scenario? what's the environment? Where are you in the 'fear loop'? what's your visualization? What skills have you imbued your opponent with? Why?...

As Phil so elegantly put it, "There is no magic cookie"!

Remember, "You can only beat the opponent who makes a mistake!"

One hint though...when doing scenarios, BAGBG and then either develop a rapport with the BG or use choice speach in such a manner as to have the oppoent think of the future's rewards (again, what do they want?) opposed to the present confrontation. Tony explains this on the audios as a'psychological distraction'

Good luck with the training.

Sean Mulligan

I thank you both for the replies,

After reading them I realize I was looking for the "Magic Cookie". Seems maybe my other training is still intact and on more levels than I realize at this point. Thanks for the heads up.

Scott Boyce


It takes courage to post that. Now you just do the work and find the answers for yourself. Believe it or not, that's the easy part.

I look forward to reading the results of your 'experiments'.



I hope I am not abusing this forum, and I hope these Q's are in context to the way Tony wants this to run. Please let me know if I am out of context or being a pain.

Well speaking of "Experiments" I wonder if I have made a mistake. Let me paint the picture for you. I was doing some LARD's with my students. I do not wish to make many "Murphy Moments" so I was just asking them to react to when they are being hit, they are not being hit, just pretending. This is with the Kenpo I have been teaching them. I am scared at this point to go over board, but I feel I just may have anyway.

The striker has to react as if he/she is being hit(BAGBG)this is all at 1/4 speed. I was trying to show them what really happens and they will have to adjust, move forward ect. Instead of the static drills we have always been doing.

Well it backfired. Some did get it, but most felt frustrated. I explained why to them and I got lots of lip service. As I watched, they kept going back to the static drill format. I would stop the class or pair and go over it again. I could see the frustration in their faces.

I was then reminded of a story told at the seminar in which a school owner just about lost his school after going to a seminar. And I got scared and moved on to another drill, and it was a static one. They where happy.

But one student (the oldest one I might add) confronted me after and was asking Q's. He was very interested in the concept. So I did get my result, just not on a grander level.

So do I continue these types of glimpses? I wonder if I should ask them which ones they want to work on, allowing for both to transpire at the same time. I am 50/50, and caught in my FEAR loop. What do you, or anyone else think? These are pre-teens sorry for not explaining earlier.


Scott Boyce


Sorry for the late reply but I've been extremely busy of late.

I assumed that you were asking the question for yourself, not your students. I will second the caution that Tony recommends to all new PDR attendees and coaches. You need to train for yourself first and STRONGLY consider a stand alone PDR class to train the concepts in. You're doing some work which is great and the only way to make any real progress but you need to train with people who are looking for that information... don't 'teach pigs to sing' if you get my drift.

Since we're getting into 'coaching' concepts as opposed to end-user I'd suggest you go to the PDR forum and post your experiments there. I'll try to help in any way I can and you'll be better connected to the Team.



Hey don't be sorry, such is life. When I posted this I was not aware I could get into the private forum yet.

Yes I was asking for myself. I will not sabotage my passion by means of ego. I have stepped back and taken a breath. My students are very important to me. If they don't want it, I will not force.

Thanks for your time and help Phil, see you there.