Remember my Thanksgiving guests?

Last year I posted about my wife's friend who called, broke down and asked could her family come to our house for Thanksgiving. Her husband had lost his job and they weren't going to be able to do dinner for their two kids. Anyone remember this?

So, even though I wasn't a fan of her husband (reminds me of Danny Bonaduce personality wise) I had them over and fed them. I didn't want the kids to suffer over the "sins" of their father. It went well, no problems, and we sent them home with pretty much everything left over.

So, the thing is that they're kinda hinting about coming again this year. He's still unemployed but he's done some shit that's annoyed me since last year. My wife was going to take my son to eat when I worked OT. I suggested she invite her friend and her 2 kids along. So, she does and when she goes to pick them up, the husband gets all pushy. "What about me? I'm not invited?"

My wife joked about it being women and children only but he was pissed she said. He pulled his wife into other room before they left and when she got her meal, she ate about half and got the rest to go. Guess who snatched the box up when they got home? Had it been me, I would've been grateful and thanked them for feeding my family.

He also refused to let the women leave the kids with him when they went to pick up some food (that my wife was paying for) that our two families were going to split. We've told him of job openings only to have him sneer because "it only pays $10hr". That's $10 more an hour than you're making now asshole.

So, what say you OG? I wouldn't mind the wife and kids coming again but I really don't care to deal with this ungrateful mofo. Do I suck it up and be miserable for Thanksgiving for their sakes? Or do I tell them to make other arrangements this year? I'm leaning towards NOT inviting them. Am I an asshole or not? Phone Post

You are the bigger man if you invite the asshole.... you know it, your wife knows it, his wife knows it...he knows it Phone Post

No obligation to do it but like you said, the kids shouldn't suffer because the dad is an asshole. 

Don't do it. You're putting a bandaid on a heart attack. Don't invite them - the mom will have to take a long hard look at her life and the life she is providing for her kids living with that loser. Maybe she'll leave him or force him to take on any job. I hate that the kids suffer because of this cunt but sometimes things need to break before they can start to heal. Don't feel bad. You can make it up to those kids later in other ways. Phone Post 3.0

Do it for the kids. They will appreciate it later in life.

Where the hell do you live where someone can be unemployed for 2 years? I don't know anyone who legit wanted to work that couldn't find something within 6 months.

Have them over. If he says anything smart/rude dont hold back, respond to him. Youll alpha him in your own house in front of his kids and his wife.

Some guy once said to make them a Thanksgiving meal and bring it to them. 

You should buy buy them the stuff to make the meal, but not cook it for them.

You should also get a BJ from your wife's friend.

AG_bull - 

You are the bigger man if you invite the asshole.... you know it, your wife knows it, his wife knows it...he knows it Phone Post


Plus a week after Thanksgiving you probably wont care that you invited the guy, however you could be feeling guilty about not inviting him.

Also, it's not like your'e inviting them to the beach or something, you're feeding them. Everyone deserves a meal

no good deed goes unpunished

If a big part of this is still them being able to afford it, offer to buy them basics for the meal. A turkey, potatoes, a vegetable, a pie for dessert. They can make it themselves and have their own Thanksgiving.

It'll be tough to do this without including the husband so be honest with the wife and tell her your willing to do it this way or nothing. They aren't family so you shouldn't feel obligated to suffer. No need to ruin your holiday when you can still help them out.

AG_bull - 

You are the bigger man if you invite the asshole.... you know it, your wife knows it, his wife knows it...he knows it Phone Post

This. It wasn't about him the first time. It's not about him this time.

Take every chance you can get to help people.

Like the dude a few posts up said, help buy a turkey or whatever and get a beej from his wife. It is only fair. Phone Post

If you buy them the turkey and maybe a few other things, they can cook for themselves. The kids will probably love helping make the food, and they will learn a few things in the process. Good memories for the mom and kids.

The father shouldn't be allowed to ruin another holiday for anyone but himself.

You aren't obligated to do anything, but the ones who matter will appreciate it.

Does your wife have strong feelings either way? If your wife really wants to have them over, maybe do it for her?

Canooke - Does your wife have strong feelings either way? If your wife really wants to have them over, maybe do it for her?
This is a good answer..... How does your wife feel? If she is keen to have them over to help her friend then do it (no point falling out with the wife over some bum).
Discuss it with her and make a joint decision.
Voted up for being a caring dude.....
Happy thanksgiving Phone Post 3.0

I agree with the people saying to buy them a turkey and potatoes, etc. Only for the sake of the kids. You did your good deed last year, don't let that asshole spoil your time with your family. Phone Post 3.0

Tough spot to be in ... Your a good dude first off!

I think there's a few options. If it's gunna ruin your day... Don't do it... Buy them a pre made from Boston Market(I did this for Franks Family last X mas and they said it was killer) you can get a meal for the Fam for less than $100... They go pick it up, u just call and place order and pay.

Or you have them over... Make them dinner and just be grateful that it's not you or your family in that position.

There is plan C ... Invite them over... Feed them all a great meal... Possibly slip some X-Lax in his gravy ... Lol all night long knowing he's stuck in the restroom making gravy !! They won't wanna come back next year!! Phone Post 3.0

although no good deed goes unpunished, i support the folks who say have the slob and his family over anyway.

they are right, its about his kids - who can do nothing at this age but suffer the consequences of their father being an idiot.

in some ways - its about your wife and her friend as well.

so put on a football game; play with the guy's kids; eat, drink and be Mary - ummmmmmm - merry

and tell your wife she owes you one

collect that evening

Some Guy - Fuck that just spend time with your family and if you feel bad mate take them round the leftovers.

Or perhaps if you feel really bad make them their own meal (Turkey or harvest you guys eat for thanksgiving) and drop it off to them.

Don't waste your valuable time and memories being miserable to look after them. Help by all means but spend a great day with your family without worrying. Phone Post 3.0

This is great advice.

Trust -

I don't understand people who would rather sit on their ass than make $10/hr.  Sure, it might be a lot less than what you were making - over a year ago - but if I'm an employer in whatever field he's trying to find a job, and I have two candidates, one who's been working for $10/hr and one who's done nothing, guess which one I think will be a better worker?  

I'm with you. I remember when I returned from Guam back to the mainland I put in apps the day after I arrived. Had a job 3 days later. That Supervisor told me that she chose me because she was "so impressed" that I was putting in applications less than 24 hours after my flight landed. It paid less than I had been making in Guam and I still had money coming in from that job for another month but I didn't want to wait until I was broke to look for work. Phone Post