"1. the xtian belief that all people are sinful and need forgiveness."
Have you yet met anyone that is not sinful? Ofcourse we need to define sinfulness. You can start with the ten commandments, take the last two, do not give false testimony, or in other words don't lie and you shall not covet, or desire to have, your neighbors wife, or their goods. These two basically make all of us guilty. And it is a human condition. We don't need to teach our children to be selfish, they learn all by themselves. We don't need to tell them, look next time you get the ball, don't give it back, keep it all for yourself. They seem to come out of the womb with those inclinations. These inclinations, wind up making the world a not so nice place.
"2. the idea that God understands the human experience yet still condems sinners to hell. I understand how you can understand and still condem something, but an eternal punishment for sinning seems a bit like overkill IMO. It would be like killing your son or daughter because they got an F on a report card, at least that is what it seems like to me."
My views on this do not reflect the whole of Christianity, but let me make some points from my own belief system. First there is two words for hell, the first hades the second Gehenna or the lake of fire. Hades is where the unrepentant wait for judgement, it is a place of lawlesness but the body is not there. After the judgement I believe there is a reunion with the body and a chance to "pay for your sins" and an opportunity to accept Gods offer of life with him. (Christians, I know this isn't orthodox doctrine, and I do not have as much support for this idea from scripture as I would like, but I do have some, we can talk about it later if you want) The lake of fire is called by scripture the second death. I believe that at this time any who rejects God and refuses to be part of His heaven, will be allowed to cease to exist. There is no eternity of suffering, simple an end.
Secondly, I believe that we as free moral agents can decide our eternal fate. I believe that like Thomas we will be allowed to see with our own eyes at some time, and can choose to be with God or without. I cannot imagine someone turning their backs on God once seeing Him, but some of the angels did, so it is a possibility. I am not a universalist, but I have leanings in that direction.
the rev