Okay Newbs, Spazes, and ex-Wrestlers coming to class for the first time:
We've been hated on long enough. This week, FIGHT BACK!
Pair off with that smelly purple belt. Can Opener him viciously. Grind your knuckles in his ribs and jaws. SLAM him when he's playing guard. Break his grips by breaking his fingers. Bend them hard, and bend them fast.
Now here's the best part, but you have to play it right. When you do this to the hated purple belt, make sure the instructor is at the other side of the class, on the telephone or not paying attention to what you're doing. Then when the purple belt starts going for the beat down in retaliation, SCREAM AS LOUD AS YOU CAN!!! "TAP!!!!! TAP!!! STOP!!!!!" Hold your arm in agony, and say "MAN! I TAPPED! WHY DIDNT YOU LET GO?! AWWWWW!!!!"
Here's the most important part. Do this toward the end of the month, when your next month's membership fee is due.
The instructor will then become very upset with the purple belt for lacking any control, and potentially driving away a paying customer. He will then chew out the purple belt in front of everyone, then viciously beat his ass for the next two weeks when they roll.
I tell you, this works!