@RikerGoogling is hilarious

twitter feed of Commander William Riker's google searches

https://twitter.com/RikerGoogling?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

can you be gay for yourself

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) December 8, 2018

thot

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) December 6, 2018

starship os update failed

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) December 4, 2018

are starfleet pajamas compulsory

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) December 4, 2018

why won’t my holodeck make a taylor swift hologram

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) December 2, 2018

how to opt out of having your image used in holodecks

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) November 29, 2018

how to emit big dick energy from deflector dish

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) November 24, 2018

bake marshmallow yams in warp core

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) November 22, 2018

communicator badge repair youtube

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) November 19, 2018

holodeck programs for dogs

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) November 3, 2018

69

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) October 30, 2018

can a hologram get pregnant

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) November 1, 2018

how do they gerrymander sectors of the galaxy

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) November 8, 2018

symptoms of alien pregnancy

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) November 8, 2018

can i make a holographic woman whose ass is copied from my ass

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) October 29, 2018

which halloween monsters are real

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) October 23, 2018

 

how to degauss an ionic field dampener without resequencing the molecular inhibitor module

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) October 15, 2018

did the borg use facebook

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) October 15, 2018

is it normal to get erect during a mind meld

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) October 10, 2018

can potential energy be converted into big dick energy

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) October 8, 2018

how to fucc a pumpkin

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) October 4, 2018

is clear a color

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) September 27, 2018

can i cause a time loop on purpose

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) September 26, 2018

Lol @ "how to fuck a pumpkin"

what in the fuck

lolol awesome. first one is best. laughed so hard!

is a shuttlecraft extended warranty worth it

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) August 18, 2018

if we can transport through doors why do we use locks

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) August 16, 2018

how do you do a loop de loop in a big starship

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) August 15, 2018

open source program to make a hologram feel love

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) August 10, 2018

holodeck malfunction cannot end program penis stuck in hologram

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) August 9, 2018

can a sentient hologram have a real orgasm

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) August 6, 2018

webmd symptoms of alien possession

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) August 4, 2018

which pokemon looks like a dick

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) August 1, 2018

bigfoot erotica

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) July 30, 2018

big pussy energy

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) July 27, 2018

how to get people to send nudes

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) July 26, 2018

species that store pee in the balls

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) July 24, 2018

is klingon cosplay racist

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) July 23, 2018

etymology of balls to the wall

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) July 21, 2018

how to fully uninstall a holodeck program

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) July 19, 2018

what happens if you transport together during sex

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) July 14, 2018

can big dick energy be converted into matter

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) July 11, 2018

is big dick energy a stable power source

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) July 11, 2018

how to reroute big dick energy

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) July 11, 2018

big dick energy beings

— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) July 11, 2018
NotForgetGayJesus -

I don’t get it.

are you familiar with the Star Trek character? 

I also don’t get it 

“species that store pee in the balls”

Holy shit.

KZTT_MMAfan55 - 

I also don’t get it 

It’s Commander William T. Riker’s Google search history.

Thats really funny.

worf has one too called Worf Email, @worfemail

https://twitter.com/WorfEmail

Ensign Serrano,

When we arrive at the planet in two days, at 1100 hours you will accompany Commander Riker, Commander Data, and myself to the surface for a scouting mission.

Worf

— Worf Email (@WorfEmail) March 29, 2018

Captain,

Dr. Crusher has ordered me to inform you that I am too sick to work today. I have now completed the task she has assigned me. I will be at my post as usual.

Worf

— Worf Email (@WorfEmail) April 8, 2018

Security personnel,

Top priority

An unknown intruder has stolen my bat’leth and replaced it with a foil-wrapped chocolate replica. This is not a joke. Locate the thief.

Worf

— Worf Email (@WorfEmail) April 2, 2018

Security Personnel,

There will be a memorial service for Ensign Serrano in Ten Forward immediately following tomorrow’s security briefing. Bring flowers.

Worf

— Worf Email (@WorfEmail) April 11, 2018

Geordi LaForge,

I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.

  • Worf SonOfMogh

    — Worf Email (@WorfEmail) May 5, 2018

Commander,

I have a sensitive matter to discuss with you. After the recent incident on the holodeck with the sentient Mario character and his mind control hat, I saw Geordi working in engineering wearing that same hat, a wide mustache, and white gloves.

Worf

— Worf Email (@WorfEmail) May 7, 2018

Commander Riker,

Are you aware that there is an Orion pornographic holodeck program that features you as one of the performers?

Worf

— Worf Email (@WorfEmail) June 13, 2018

they're all done by the same guy.  he does one for picard too that's pretty good called Picard Tips, @picardtips

https://twitter.com/PicardTips

Picard management tip: Take no notice of cleavage.

— Picard Tips (@PicardTips) December 8, 2018

Picard management tip: Give the most interesting assignments to other crew members, not yourself. That's how people stay engaged.

— Picard Tips (@PicardTips) December 6, 2018

Picard management tip: Always be ready to change course.

— Picard Tips (@PicardTips) December 3, 2018

Picard management tip: Don't just be yourself. Be the best version of yourself. Recall who you were on your best day. Be that person again.

— Picard Tips (@PicardTips) November 10, 2018

Picard civics tip: When a foreign power has wormed its way into your institution's highest office, it is every officer's duty to resist.

— Picard Tips (@PicardTips) November 3, 2018

Picard travel tip: Bring a book.

— Picard Tips (@PicardTips) November 29, 2018

This isn’t terribly funny and I love ST:TNG.

Riker was the only really good one IMO.  

The Riker ones had me laughing out loud. 

I though Worf showed promice but faded. Riker was good. Love the is it worth to get extended warranty on shuttle craft.

jpm995 -

I though Worf showed promice but faded. Riker was good. Love the is it worth to get extended warranty on shuttle craft.

I thought the brilliance of these really comes down to the inevitable monotony of life on a Starfleet startarship.  Worf is hysterical because obviously he has zero sense of humor and no doubt would get fucked with like crazy.

The Picard ones arent funny at all but solid pieces of advice.

I’m dying