EFM
December 8, 2018, 4:48pm
#1
twitter feed of Commander William Riker's google searches
https://twitter.com/RikerGoogling?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor
are starfleet pajamas compulsory
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) December 4, 2018
why won’t my holodeck make a taylor swift hologram
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) December 2, 2018
how to opt out of having your image used in holodecks
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) November 29, 2018
how to emit big dick energy from deflector dish
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) November 24, 2018
bake marshmallow yams in warp core
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) November 22, 2018
how do they gerrymander sectors of the galaxy
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) November 8, 2018
can i make a holographic woman whose ass is copied from my ass
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) October 29, 2018
which halloween monsters are real
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) October 23, 2018
Lol @ "how to fuck a pumpkin"
lolol awesome. first one is best. laughed so hard!
EFM
December 8, 2018, 5:21pm
#8
NotForgetGayJesus - I don’t get it.
are you familiar with the Star Trek character?
“species that store pee in the balls”
Holy shit.
KZTT_MMAfan55 - I also don’t get it
It’s Commander William T. Riker’s Google search history.
EFM
December 8, 2018, 5:45pm
#13
worf has one too called Worf Email, @worfemail
https://twitter.com/WorfEmail
Ensign Serrano,
When we arrive at the planet in two days, at 1100 hours you will accompany Commander Riker, Commander Data, and myself to the surface for a scouting mission.
Worf
— Worf Email (@WorfEmail ) March 29, 2018
Captain,
Dr. Crusher has ordered me to inform you that I am too sick to work today. I have now completed the task she has assigned me. I will be at my post as usual.
Worf
— Worf Email (@WorfEmail ) April 8, 2018
Security personnel,
Top priority
An unknown intruder has stolen my bat’leth and replaced it with a foil-wrapped chocolate replica. This is not a joke. Locate the thief.
Worf
— Worf Email (@WorfEmail ) April 2, 2018
Security Personnel,
There will be a memorial service for Ensign Serrano in Ten Forward immediately following tomorrow’s security briefing. Bring flowers.
Worf
— Worf Email (@WorfEmail ) April 11, 2018
Geordi LaForge,
I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.
Commander,
I have a sensitive matter to discuss with you. After the recent incident on the holodeck with the sentient Mario character and his mind control hat, I saw Geordi working in engineering wearing that same hat, a wide mustache, and white gloves.
Worf
— Worf Email (@WorfEmail ) May 7, 2018
Commander Riker,
Are you aware that there is an Orion pornographic holodeck program that features you as one of the performers?
Worf
— Worf Email (@WorfEmail ) June 13, 2018
EFM
December 8, 2018, 5:48pm
#14
they're all done by the same guy. he does one for picard too that's pretty good called Picard Tips, @picardtips
https://twitter.com/PicardTips
Picard management tip: Take no notice of cleavage.
— Picard Tips (@PicardTips) December 8, 2018
Picard management tip: Give the most interesting assignments to other crew members, not yourself. That's how people stay engaged.
— Picard Tips (@PicardTips) December 6, 2018
Picard management tip: Always be ready to change course.
— Picard Tips (@PicardTips) December 3, 2018
Picard management tip: Don't just be yourself. Be the best version of yourself. Recall who you were on your best day. Be that person again.
— Picard Tips (@PicardTips) November 10, 2018
Picard civics tip: When a foreign power has wormed its way into your institution's highest office, it is every officer's duty to resist.
— Picard Tips (@PicardTips) November 3, 2018
This isn’t terribly funny and I love ST:TNG.
Riker was the only really good one IMO.
The Riker ones had me laughing out loud.
jpm995
December 8, 2018, 8:54pm
#18
I though Worf showed promice but faded. Riker was good. Love the is it worth to get extended warranty on shuttle craft.
EFM
December 8, 2018, 11:38pm
#19
jpm995 - I though Worf showed promice but faded. Riker was good. Love the is it worth to get extended warranty on shuttle craft.
I thought the brilliance of these really comes down to the inevitable monotony of life on a Starfleet startarship. Worf is hysterical because obviously he has zero sense of humor and no doubt would get fucked with like crazy.
The Picard ones arent funny at all but solid pieces of advice.