SexintheCity writer regrets not having kids/lonely

Her best-selling book and the racy TV series it inspired taught a generation of women that they could 'have it all'.

But Sex and the City creator Candace Bushnell, 60, has admitted that she regrets choosing a career over having children as she is now 'truly alone'.

The TV series starred Sarah Jessica Parker as a writer in New York who famously chooses her independence over motherhood.

Miss Bushnell, pictured, divorced her husband – ballet dancer Charles Askegard – in 2012 and said it made her realise the importance of starting a family.

The former sex columnist, who is worth around £18million, told the Sunday Times: 'When I was in my thirties and forties, I didn't think about it.

Then when I got divorced and I was in my fifties, I started to see the impact of not having children and of truly being alone. I do see that people with children have an anchor in a way that people who have no kids don't.'

Speaking to the Sunday Times Magazine, Candace explained that she didn't feel like dating after her 2012 divorce from husband of ten years - ballet dancer Charles Askegard.

Moving to Connecticut after her divorce she admitted she went without sex for five years: 'It's not that long when you get to my age. I know women who have gone longer,' she said.

The writer, who has now returned to New York, lives between her partners penthouse suite on the Upper East side and a house in the Hamptons.  

Natural Selection works in many different ways.

However the former party girl also revealed that she regularly has Botox and doesn't until 4pm - because she's not hungry until then. 

Now back in the dating game, and in love with new real estate agent boyfriend Jim Coleman, Candace is releasing a new book, titled Is there still Sex in the City? in early August. 

The book is fiction inspired from her life and the aftermaths of her own divorce. She dives into what she calls 'middle-aged sadness,'  and the difficulties of bouncing back in your fifties. 

Candace argued that it is harder to recover from bad news in your fifties than in your twenties or thirties. And she added that in the eyes of many people, women, particularly those over 50 - where often blamed for the set-backs they had to overcome.

However, she added that she had found turning 60 a relief, which helped get rid of her sense of shame. 

She admitted to having Botox regularly, having had fillers done, and once considered going through a Mona Lisa procedure - vaginal rejuvenation laser surgery, priced at £3,000. 

However, she added that several editors had offered to help with her career in exchange of sexual favours, something she said was common at the time.  

While she also revealed that the characters in her upcoming book had been sexually harassed at some point in their lives but would just have dealt with it and told the men to 'go f*** themselves.' 

Talking about age and dating she also said she felt gender dynamics and sexual attraction evolved as you grew older, with competition taking a step back in favor of being 'nice.' 

I give her props for being honest and not doubling down on lies

This will be a more widespread issue in the future.

So, OP is a woman? I mean, how else would she come across this article unless she's reading, oh i don't know, Womens World?

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwjfx7GsjeLjAhVDm-AKHeFCBUQQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.apnews.com%2F9fa631e1a9fc4d8da0be711e80fb6609&psig=AOvVaw3nCNDkB7ZfMQzmmt53pkTe&ust=1564763744896385

Al Cappucino -

So, OP is a woman? I mean, how else would she come across this article unless she's reading, oh i don't know, Womens World?

Not taking the bait fatty

CRE - This will be a more widespread issue in the future.

Meh...

It is just midlife crisis type stuff. If she had kids, and didn't have the success she did she would be sad wondering what she could have acocmplished if she hadn't spent so many years at hoe raising children.

Some people have kids and have fulfilling lives full of love and wonder. Others have kids and spend most of their years struggling to get by, treading water financially, and resenting those around them for keeping them from living their best lives.

Other people don't have kids and end up sad and lonely, while some people never have children and live wonderful lives of excitement, schievement, and charity.

It can go any which way, but this isn't a signal of societal problems. It is the same old crisis everyone has at 40 and 50 and 60.

Tim Duncan -
Al Cappucino -

So, OP is a woman? I mean, how else would she come across this article unless she's reading, oh i don't know, Womens World?

Not taking the bait fatty

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwia4dnfleLjAhVkZN8KHbpVAj4QjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftenor.com%2Fsearch%2Foh-come-on-gifs&psig=AOvVaw22AViBJPfh1jkb_0n2eYzh&ust=1564765993212220

1 Like

She could always foster some children

not all children are great. u might have a kid thats a drug addict, steals from u, always coming to u for court costs...

or worse

u could have a kid that blasts rap all the time

Al Cappucino -
Tim Duncan -
Al Cappucino -

So, OP is a woman? I mean, how else would she come across this article unless she's reading, oh i don't know, Womens World?

Not taking the bait fatty

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwia4dnfleLjAhVkZN8KHbpVAj4QjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftenor.com%2Fsearch%2Foh-come-on-gifs&psig=AOvVaw22AViBJPfh1jkb_0n2eYzh&ust=1564765993212220

You got me once,  but never again!

Zned -
CRE - This will be a more widespread issue in the future.

Meh...

It is just midlife crisis type stuff. If she had kids, and didn't have the success she did she would be sad wondering what she could have acocmplished if she hadn't spent so many years at hoe raising children.

Some people have kids and have fulfilling lives full of love and wonder. Others have kids and spend most of their years struggling to get by, treading water financially, and resenting those around them for keeping them from living their best lives.

Other people don't have kids and end up sad and lonely, while some people never have children and live wonderful lives of excitement, schievement, and charity.

It can go any which way, but this isn't a signal of societal problems. It is the same old crisis everyone has at 40 and 50 and 60.

It depends what meaning you put into it.

 

Most people find it very easy to put meaning into their lives with children and families.  

 

Cash and career?  Well if you dont have a family, it's pretty hard for that to have meaning in the long run, especially when you get to the age when you see that career will be over within a decade. 

 

I'd argue that the people who have kids and wonder what kind of career they could have had at the end of the day dont struggle with the meaning and value of their lives the way thr reverse does.

1 Like

I think it is great that she's honest - but I don't think it proves anything about family is great or career at the expense of family is terrible.

She doesn't seem to be making an overreach general point- but OP seems to think he is?

CavemanDave - 
Zned -
CRE - This will be a more widespread issue in the future.

Meh...

It is just midlife crisis type stuff. If she had kids, and didn't have the success she did she would be sad wondering what she could have acocmplished if she hadn't spent so many years at hoe raising children.

Some people have kids and have fulfilling lives full of love and wonder. Others have kids and spend most of their years struggling to get by, treading water financially, and resenting those around them for keeping them from living their best lives.

Other people don't have kids and end up sad and lonely, while some people never have children and live wonderful lives of excitement, schievement, and charity.

It can go any which way, but this isn't a signal of societal problems. It is the same old crisis everyone has at 40 and 50 and 60.

It depends what meaning you put into it.

 

Most people find it very easy to put meaning into their lives with children and families.  

 

Cash and career?  Well if you dont have a family, it's pretty hard for that to have meaning in the long run, especially when you get to the age when you see that career will be over within a decade. 

 

I'd argue that the people who have kids and wonder what kind of career they could have had at the end of the day dont struggle with the meaning and value of their lives the way thr reverse does.

People who are going to have the crisis, are going to have it whether they have kids or got married or whatever or not.

Other people who don't have the crisis, will find value and fulfilling relationships in their lives whether they have kids, are married or whatever or not.

 

 

Pummeled by Silva - 

I think it is great that she's honest - but I don't think it proves anything about family is great or career at the expense of family is terrible.

She doesn't seem to be making an overreach general point- but OP seems to think he is?

Is she being honest? Or is she promoting another book?

Zned -
Pummeled by Silva - 

I think it is great that she's honest - but I don't think it proves anything about family is great or career at the expense of family is terrible.

She doesn't seem to be making an overreach general point- but OP seems to think he is?

Is she being honest? Or is she promoting another book?

This. Genius game plan if you ask me.

Step 1: write a book telling women how great it is to focus on a career and forget about family life

Step 2: profit

Step 3: write a book telling women, now that they are sad they never had families and are older, how to live with that sadness.

Step 4: see step 2.