Sh*t your kids have said to strangers

in

My 3 yo daughter : "look at the fat man. Why is he fat." that was a phase, I'm glad we are done with that shit. 

was at the store today with a buddy's kid.  standing in line the person behind us said to his wife, "i don't feel like doing the whole fireworks thing tonight, do you?"  friends 7 year old said, "hey mister, it's the 4th of july.  we gotta watch fireworks, think about eagles and stuff, and cook some B B Q!".

1 Like
EFM -

was at the store today with a buddy's kid.  standing in line the person behind us said to his wife, "i don't feel like doing the whole fireworks thing tonight, do you?"  friends 7 year old said, "hey mister, it's the 4th of july.  we gotta watch fireworks, think about eagles and stuff, and cook some B B Q!".

Smart kid

sicko -
EFM -

was at the store today with a buddy's kid.  standing in line the person behind us said to his wife, "i don't feel like doing the whole fireworks thing tonight, do you?"  friends 7 year old said, "hey mister, it's the 4th of july.  we gotta watch fireworks, think about eagles and stuff, and cook some B B Q!".

Smart kid


not sure about that.  she's very funny though.

Myself and a few other dads on my team used to bring out kids with us to the gym while we would have some free rolling or striking sparring on saturday mornings.

One time when my son was around 3, he was in the family room playing with the other kids so I didnt think he could hear me talking to my teammates.

When we left the gym we went to kroger. When we were checking out i realized that he had overheard at least part of the conversation when he told the cashier "I found out today that my dad likes BIIIIIIIIIIIG BUTTS!

1 Like

She didn’t say it to them, but when my daughter was five, we were sitting in a pizza joint outside Osan AFB and she blurted out “why are there so many brown people here?”:flushed:
Surprised I didn’t choke on my pizza.

1 Like

This is actually funny, and few others, but some are just sad…

I’ve been showing my less than 2 year old nephew Super Humman videos on YouTube. The other day he went up to my brother ( his dad) stood on the edge of the couch and said, “fuck, this, shit! Woop! Woop!” Then jumped on my bro.

1 Like

Some funny ones.

I was ordering at a fast food drive up. I just finished ordering and I hear my son yell “Listen up Butthole”. He had rolled down the back window.

I paid for the food but didn’t eat it. Must have learned that from his mom.

1 Like

Great story. Thanks.

I was ordering McDonalds takeout and my 2 year old loves the fries. So me and my two sons were in the car, i give the order to the lady and my 2 year old yells from the backseat, “AND FWIES!”.

1 Like

We went out to dinner with my son who was 1.5. Had taken him to dinner before. No problems.

The waiter arrived and he is the definition of a ginger. My son starts losing it. Complete batshit crazy tantrum like he has never done before or since. We had no idea why. The waiter would leave. Son would calm down. It took 3 rounds of him returning to the table before we could figure out what was happening.

my g/f’s niece did the same thing or rather "look at the monkey because g/f’s father would say that to her all the time … this was back in the early 70s

My dads’ is much bigger

8 or so, my best friends dad was always saying shit about Harleys, what pieces of shit they are and making jokes about them. Sooo, being the wise ass that I was we were at the store one summer day, 1976 ish, back in the day you could still smack a kid and get away with it lol
And couple guys pull in on Harleys …
As soon as they shut the bikes off my friend Travis and I walked up and I asked one of them where his bucket was, clearly not expecting it from a kid he actually answered me… “what bucket”?
“The one to pick up all the parts that fall off that piece of shit every time you ride it”?

Well… I learned at a young age how precious HDs are to those who own HDs!! That cocksucker smacked me upside the head so hard I saw stars and my ear rang for a week!

To this day, he’ll occasionally say hey, go ask that guy where his bucket is see what he does lol

1 Like

Oops

my 4 years about shit his pants waiting on the waterheads at Panera Bread drive thru to get my wife order. The girls hands it to me and says “thank you for your patience”… my son in the back “what took you so long?!”… thanks Vic… we were all thinking it.

Well not to strangers but what my 10 year old said to me today

  1. He got up from eating . I said where you going. He walked to bathroom and said “I have to drop a nuke on Tokyo”. Trying not to crack up I explained he can’t be saying that

  2. We were driving and car in front of us had license plate of MRGSAYS

he said “if you take out to S it says MR GAYS. That’s a lot of gays”

after my mom flipped out on me and embarrassed me by spanking my ass in a grocery for hitting her ankles with the shopping cart for the 3rd time , i screamed “Child abuse! ! ! ! ! ! ! !”

i remember 2 of the guy employees come over and shake their heads at ME , nod to my mom, and tell me to listen to my mom

1 Like