Share your "Walk of Shame" stories here! (FRAT)

It was the summer of my high school graduation. Due to my rather religious upbringing where my parents church forbid any drinking or drugs, once I found my first tastes of alcohol, for some odd reason I felt it would be fun and wise to "make up for lost time".

This led me to be a bit of a "competitive drinker" as I did have a considerable talent for putting away cases of beer, shots of liquor or even an entire 750 mL bottle in an evening.

Now, my first walk of shame was my 3rd time ever drinking and getting drunk. It was July 4th the summer of my high school graduation. One of my best friends was having an underage drinking party and a collaborative fireworks show, which obviously broke out into a fireworks battle between various factions of friends.

Earlier in the evening we went down to the Park District fireworks show and sat nearly directly under where the fireworks were going off and I clearly remember very hot pieces of firework cardboard shells raining down on us and one guys shirt caught on fire ruining it.

The house party and park district were within easy walking distance and we all had some kind of ambiguous container we took on the road containing the typical HS mixture of 50% hard liquor and 50% of some cutting agent like Pepsi or fruit juice. I had a Super Big Gulp of Rum & Coke, or as I would later order joking at bars, "a Bacardi & Rum".

After the fireworks battle, the police showing up as my friends house was right next to our Jr. High school, that's where memory begins to fade. I had a personal stash of MGD which I recall had just been released to market by the fine people at Miller. It was really something to be 18 years old and double fisting MGD long necks. Yeah, kids can be stupid.

After getting weirded out by some semi-hot chick begging me and another guy to do "something, anything" with her fatty friends, we both retreated to the safety of a vehicle and smoked up some weed, giving me my first experience of the spins. I stumbled back into the house to see that the females had flocked to another group of guys, so I was safe for now when the host's Dad introduces me to Scotch "Neat".

Being so inebriated, I went off on my friend's Dad claiming this expensive stuff was no different than "10 dollar, 1.75 mL Czechoslovakian Vodka" and was promptly banished from inside of the home for disrespecting the host. That was about 15 minutes prior to somebody lighting a very large gunpowder based M-1000 and again, the police returned but by that time I was quickly grabbed by The Fear and since everybody else was running anywhere in the opposite direction of the house, I filled my pants pockets or beer holsters with 2 for the road and a fresh cold long neck for the mere 1 mile walk home.

Now understand, this party was right next door to where I went to Jr. High school, I had walked this route every day for 3 school years and could have done it any other night blind folded. My friend the host even walked with me to the only major roadway and then gave me a pep talk, "dude, you can do it! you've made this walk countless times before, when you get home, just be sure to throw up outside if necessary so you don't wake your folks and get grounded for the rest of the summer".

But I never made it home.

Turns out I decided to take a detour to this freshman chick's house I had the hots for, threw a big rock through her window, breaking it, pissing her off as she couldn't understand a word I was saying. That is my last legitimate memory of that EVENING. I'd estimate the $150 window, which a week later I had to pay for or the police would be called and my parents informed, was broken around 2:30 am.

Next thing I remember is a voice. A man's voice. A kind man's voice asking me, "Son, are you alright?" Not even knowing where I was, if I was alive, I replied, "Yep! Just fine, been sleeping, gimme a minute and I'll be on my way. And thanks for having such soft grass". The voice went inside with a dog I somehow figured out he had let out to do it's morning business by hearing the leash jingle.

Not being able to get immediately up on my feet due to still being beyond legally drunk, I accessed my present situation:

- had been sleeping in somebody's side yard, not sure yet of my bearing but pretty sure I had passed out in the sub division I live in, BUT WHERE EXACTLY?

- for some reason my shirt was entirely unbutton, no memory of how that happened. Then the worst slowly dawned upon me as painful as that morning sunlight was to my new Vampire-like vision. How could I be so angry and enraged at the Sun for the first time ever shining too brightly?

- once my eyes adjusted to the bright morning sunlight, OH YES THERE IT WAS... the drunkards signature, vomit galore and all over me! My chest hair was caked with dried vomit but then, I learned the ultimate lesson concerning a true Walk of Shame.

I had shit my pants and the shit was hard as a fucking rock wedged between my butt cheeks. I was so disoriented it was impossible for me to even consider cleaning myself outdoors, so I began the slow shuffle home. It was a brutal 6 extra blocks I had walked out of my way and what a sight I must have been to the cars that passed me than morn.

Vomit caked to my chest, a big, mean heavy duty deuce in my butt and who knows what the additional body odors and alcohol odors contributed to my overall stench.

The only thing I did right was not losing my house keys. So I approach the door to my folks place, door is locked, takes me a good minute to get the door open and who is sitting at the bottom of the stairs as I open the door but my divine and innocent mother. She had stayed up the ENTIRE NIGHT waiting for me to get home.

Just visualize me through her eyes and what a mysterious train wreck I must have been. Mom only had one question for me which was "Where the heck have you been?" I replied, "I have no idea". Then she commented, "you smell awful! what did you do last night!". I firmly replied, "I have no idea but I must wash up and sleep, we'll discuss this when my head isn't pounding like a symphony Kettle Drum". Mom summed it all up nicely, "you better BELIEVE we're gonna talk about this stunt you've pulled".

I went downstairs, washed my hair/chest. Threw my shorts and underwear directly into the garbage and did a pure soup and hand only cleaning of my hairy buttcrack. My Dad let me sleep about 3 hours before he woke me up, make me clean my entire room and re-fold every single piece of clothing.

That's what sucked the most, my father not letting me sleep this bender off and this cruel act of forcing me to do the simplest of tasks in folding clothes when there were jackhammers going all out within my skull upon my brain.

Thus is the tale of my first Walk of Shame.

Ttt Awesome story. Can't add unfortunately. Phone Post

IN for a good read tomorrow

its a stroll of success.

Thats coming from some of my female friends

damn double post

and... here.... we.... go....

OPs story either epic or pure fiction. Phone Post 3.0

I went to university in portsmouth here in merry old england, and i went out with the lads, standard stuff, got with a girl using the line "I'm going home with you" and when we got back i was so drunk i couldn't get it up, the bitch laughed at me but i tried to keep my composure. I went to the bathroom to try and get the thing fired up, but i had nothing, i quietly slipped out in the darkness whilst she was waiting for me to come back. The worst part was in the panic of bailing i just shoved the condom in my pocket and bolted.
Bare in mind I'm walking down a busy street at 8am, there are school kids everywhere and I'm clearly unwashed and doing the walk, i reached in to my pocket and unknowingly pulled out the condom with my phone, (XL of course), and it fell on the floor behind me as I'm walking, this kid that cant have been more than 8 ran over, picked it up and gave it back to me. Worst day ever, i ran. Phone Post 3.0

In for later Phone Post 3.0

I'm a hetero male. I don't have walks of shame. Only walks of triumph, and walks of much lesser triumph.

Subbed Phone Post 3.0

Holy fucking novel Batman. Phone Post

I read that while story and it was awesome! Phone Post

IsoMetric - I read that while story and it was awesome! Phone Post

Fuck you!!!!!!!!

No. But really. Fuck you. Phone Post