Sharted thru jeans onto car seat while driving :-(

I might be fresh out of the shower but my memory is still filthy from the horror that happened just 30 minutes ago.

I foolishly did not eat anything all day long but did have a large Iced Coffee from Dunkin Donuts with Mocha syrup added around 4:30.  My 2nd job is pizza delivery and tonight I had a pretty decent shift until the shart happened as I was driving back to the resturant after my last delivery.  A few minutes prior I had ripped some nice, mean dry farts but I guess those were just helping that terrible iced coffee remains to the edge of my butthole.

The shart was colored exactly like that Mocha Iced Coffee as it had entered me too, so I know it's the culprit.  But boy when it let loose, it was like bubbling hot mud springs must look like.  Even a few seconds after I stained myself, I felt a few small fart pockets escape through the mud.  If it were possible to see inside of my buttcrack I'm willing to bet there were visible mud bubbles escaping.

Well I am out of the shower, the car seat is cleaned and my jeans and underwear were blasted by the shower massage thing in the tub and now presoaking in detergent solution and I give them 50/50 if they'll be wearable or not.  It was such a dark brown chocolate color that I just don't see how it is all going to come out.  I had to clean myself up at the resturant and I know my manager heard the 6 flushes within a minute as I mummy wrapped my hand to clean out the vile goo between my cheeks.

Even when I got home a young couple was already in the elevator and I stood towards the back corner but I swear I could hear them sniffing the air as they were getting out of the elevator a floor below mine, thankfully no spiteful eye contact was made but I do fear they sensed my hidden shame.

Was probably good lube for your bf' hog Phone Post 3.0

Pizza pizza Phone Post 3.0

A fart is a helpless cry from an imprisoned turd... Phone Post 3.0

I couched and sharted while sitting in front of my work ready to start the day. I drove home with my ass raised off the seat...took a shower, wiped my seat as good as i could and went back to work like an hour late. Luckily no one saw me sitting in the parking lot earlier.

If you havent shit your pants as an adult, you havent really lived. Phone Post 3.0

Scrimgali - A fart is a helpless cry from an imprisoned turd... Phone Post 3.0
Not in this case. Phone Post 3.0

Read this story before.

Never trust a fart Phone Post 3.0

Happens to the best of us... Phone Post 3.0

Kings21 - I couched and sharted while sitting in front of my work ready to start the day. I drove home with my ass raised off the seat...took a shower, wiped my seat as good as i could and went back to work like an hour late. Luckily no one saw me sitting in the parking lot earlier.

If you havent shit your pants as an adult, you havent really lived. Phone Post 3.0

high five brother!

You cant shart through jeans. That was a bona fide shit, my friend. Phone Post 3.0

Crystal Meth Jesus -


serves you right for having that bannable SN

That makes two of you! Phone Post 3.0