This was posted in another thread, but I thought it deserved it's own.
Most of us are outsiders to the big show, so whenever I hear stories about fighters from their friends, I'm pretty interested.
By Shoman
"Here's an article I wrote for Authority Mag on Nate. Sorry so long. But earlier Nate said you see him as a hardass or goofball. He's easily one of my goofiest friends. Sorry for the FRAT.
The 'N' word
Yep. That's right. Nate Quarry. As a close friend of Authority Magazine and myself personally I get the pleasure of seeing one of the biggest clowns in all of mma regularly first hand. Let me tell you, the stoic father figure on season 1 of The Ultimate Fighter is anything but what he portrayed. Nate came off as a serious perfectionist that was focused on his 1 goal of winning the competition. In reality this is how competitors on the show SHOULD be. But no one would watch it because Junie Browning is way more fun to watch. Nate didn't even give you a hint of what he is really like in real life. He is really a clown. A doofus. Moron. Jerk off. A dumbass. Aloof. Basically any word used to describe 'that guy' in your circle of friends. But this is the reason Nate is one of the greatest guys ever whom I hesitantly call one of my close friends. If by the end of this article you haven't fallen completely in love with Nathan Quarry or more importantly myself, I will personally give you your money back. No, not really.
I was watching a dvd of Evan Tanner fighting Phil Baroni. In Evan's corner was Nate. I noticed a guy sitting next to Nate wearing a Captain Stubing hat. I text'd nate and asked him who the guy with the sailor cap on next to him was when he cornered Evan for the Baroni fight. I received a text back from him that read "I have never cornered Evan Tanner in my life". Dude, I'm looking at you shouting instructions to him on tv. "I've NEVER cornered Evan in my life. Months later when he was in town the look on his face when I showed him the dvd was priceless. He still tried denying it.
Here's a fun fact I learned this week at dinner with Nate. You know sometimes when you work around the house or do something alone you get thoughts where you think "Wow, I just thought up a really good point about something. Hmmm, next time I'm around people I'm going to bring this up. Possibly blow their mind"? Well, it turns out that this thought of Nate did blow minds. When he told his thought he earned the title "Dumbest man alive". He brought up the point that it's weird how brothers or siblings can be related but have such a different sense of humor. Such was the case of the comedians Paul Rudd (from '40 year Old Virgin' and 'Anchorman') and Paul Reiser from the tv show ('Mad About You'). Yeah. I'm going to give you, the reader, a second to really drink in this stupidity. Both are named Paul so they are brothers. Kudos on your UFC success Nate and to your brother Nate Marquardt.
At a UFC weigh-in in Anaheim Nate had 2 good ones. The first was him doing a stare-down with a fan for a photo op. Now, Nate loves to brag about how unbreakable he is when doing these stare-downs. How nothing anyone says or does will make him laugh. Well, not that day. This took place around the time of 'Chappelle's Show' and we were quoting the hell out of it. Dave Chappelle did a skit making fun of Howard Dean whose run for presidency was halted when he gave a resounding 'BYAAAAAAAAAAAAA' scream. So of course all of us were doing this because Chappelle is a genius. Well, mid stare-down with a fan I just rolled up on Nate and gave him a 'BYAAAAAAAAAAAA'. He tried to hold it back and laughed at the same time causing him to spit square in his fans' face. BYAAAAAAAAAA! Minutes later we were being told to leave the area and go left of some orange cones by security. Anyone who crossed the cones was given a stern warning. After Nate crossed the cones again he was issued another talking to by the security guard. 10 feet past the guard Nate sarcastically yells "Ok, everyone stay to the left of the cones because the parking lot nazi told us to!" From behind us the older African American security guard yells back "Sir I am not a nazi, I am black".
UFC 100 Expo in Vegas. Nate and I leave the restaurant to wash our hands before eating. Fanboys are everywhere. Every few feet dudes are pushing their girlfriends out of the way to get to any guy with any relation to the UFC. One guy spots Nate. "Nate Quarry! Can I get a picture?" Sounding like a combo of Universal Soldier/Terminator/Ron Burgundyish his reactionary response is "I have to go to the bathroom". You can see a little light go off in Nate's head. He makes up for his abrupt response by saying he'd be signing tomorrow and come by the booth etc. The next 3 minutes washing our hands I kept saying "I have to go to the bathroom" in the same delivery as when Ron Burgundy asked Veronica Corningstone to lunch. Nate laughs so hard that he runs to the stall to take a dump. Nate then has to wash his hands again.
In regards to the above story that was the 3rd time I had joked with Nate where he had to run to the shitter because my comedy is apparently a verbal laxative to him.
Nate and I are nerds and frequent the San Diego Comic-Con every year. Our friend Autumn came with us one year and we took a break from the Con to get some food. While we were on line Nate was giving Autumn a hard time about something and Autumn says, "You know what Nate, fuck you!" In front of us was a father and his young son. The father turns around and says, "Look son, it's UFC fighter Nate Quarry." Without missing a beat Nate says, "Son, when you grow up try not to hang out with women of loose moral fiber who swear in public."
At the WFA fights we had a booth outside of the venue. Nate was there to sign autographs and kiss babies etc. Some dude walks by and spots Nate and yells, "Whoa Nate Quarry! Hey man, How's the knee? (referring to Nate's broken ankle from The Ultimate Fighter, 2 years earlier)" Nate replies "Great!". He just answered the guy's question. His knee has never been injured.
We have a community pool and spa in my development. Nate and I went swimming. There were 5 teenage girls in the pool who promptly left as soon as we entered. After 10 minutes we went to the hot tub. Guess who was there? We got into the hot tub and the girls went back to the pool. After 10 minutes we went back in the pool. The girls just left the area completely and possibly called the police. 2 completely different things went on at the same time. 1) Nate and I were just getting our swim on and 2) A group of teenage girls thought we were old pervs following them around.
When my son was 4 years old Nate and my son were playing with a Transformers toy. Nate was trying to show him how to Transform the toy and he did it wrong, slipped, and hit my kid in the head with the Transformer. To this day Nate is known as 'your friend who hit me in the head with a Transformer'.
cont...
"Nate was Josh Haynes' cornerman for one of his UFC fights. In the cage Josh asks Nate to slap him. Nate obliges. WHACK I'm Rick James, bitch! CRACK What did the 5 fingers say to the face? SLAP Back-hand! Pimp-hand! 5 across the eyes! Bitch, where's my money?!? Agassi back-hand. Nate threw a total of 6-10 HARD smacks. Josh lost via tko that night. But the rumor is he had a concussion going into the fight thanks to Nate.
At a jiu jitsu tournament Nate was approached by a fan who came up to him very excited. The fan nervously said, "Oh my God..." In Nate's head he was thinking, "I know. It's me, the awesome Nate Quarry". The fan finished his sentence, "You're Jake Shields!" Nate took a second to gather himself and replied, "Of course I'm Jake Shields. Who else would I be?" Nate's biggest supporter then goes into how much of a fan he is of Jake and tells him about what a bind he is in and needs to sell a couple of bjj dvd's. Nate obliges him and buys the dvd's. Nate says, "Jake Shields feels your pain. And not only does Jake Shields want to support you, Jake Shields will buy not one, but two of your dvds." The fan responded with nothing but praise for Jake/Nate, "Oh, man! You're the best! Thanks so much Jake!" Nate responds, "Jake Shields appreciates your praise." The best part is that this was in 2006 and Nate just fought in the UFC for the title and Jake Shields hadn't even fought in Rumble on the Rock, EliteXC, or Strikeforce. To even know who Jake was at that time you had to be a seriously hardcore fan. That said, most hardcore fans would know the difference between Nate and Jake. Maybe the fan confused Jake with his brothers Jacob Volkmann and Jake Ellenberger.
In conclusion, yes, this is all 100% true. These are just Nate's greatest misses. I could write an even longer article about what a dependable, loyal, and reliable friend Nate is or about his countless hours of community work. I could go on and on about how he is the spokesman for NuVasive travelling around speaking on their behalf telling his story of success and overcoming a spinal injury that almost crippled him. I could elaborate on how much Nate loves his daughter and every decision he makes revolves around her best interest. I could discuss all of those things but isn't hearing about Nate Quarry's irritable bowels way more fun?"
AWESOME!
Enjoyed reading it but the setup was over the top and it couldn't live up to it. None of those things are particularly zany or amazing. The most boring guy in the office makes jokes/has anecdotes along those lines.
Not trying to be a downer, just expected some crazier shenanigans with a setup like that.
Fake Pie - Enjoyed reading it but the setup was over the top and it couldn't live up to it. None of those things are particularly zany or amazing. The most boring guy in the office makes jokes/has anecdotes along those lines.
Not trying to be a downer, just expected some crazier shenanigans with a setup like that.
set up was over the top?? "This was posted in another thread, but I thought it deserved it's own.
Most of us are outsiders to the big show, so whenever I hear stories about fighters from their friends, I'm pretty interested."
hmm...
I don't see how this was set up to be a barn burner.
Perhaps the story of Nate telling Fake Pie how to take his clown shoes off, and keep em off, would have been some crazier shenanigans. Maybe part 2?