Spending time with relatives before a funeral...

So my mother is having some relatives spend the day and stay the night with her the day before a relative's funeral.

She wants me to pick up some take-out for everyone tomorrow night.

I am thinking of telling her I can't do it and she needs to get one of them to do it. My reasons are as follows:

I have spent time with the deceased over the past few years when they were sick while the others did not.

I would do anything for my mom but the relatives have not been there for her or the deceased.

I feel my mom is subconsciously trying to get me to "join the pack" by picking up the food for everyone even though none of them gave two fucks about visiting the deceased in their time of sickness and need.

I have nothing to say to any of them. They disgust me. While I would do anything for my mom I should not have to endure them. I was there for the deceased with every ounce of my being and left me and the deceased out in the cold.

Fuck them. I do not want to see them at all. I will not get the food. I did everything for the deceased and they did nothing. I have nothing to say to them. I will attend the funeral with them on Wednesday and that is enough.

If u would do anything for your mom you would do this. Not for them. For her Phone Post 3.0

I'm talking about a deceased grandparent who my sibling and cousin ignored while they where alive. I can't see them or pick up food for them. I give two shits about them. They can pick up their own fucking food. Fuck them. I just want to be left alone before the day of the funeral.

You are making it about yourself and are on a high horse. Make it about respecting the deceased which means doing what is needed for the funeral.

Crooked NYer - If u would do anything for your mom you would do this. Not for them. For her Phone Post 3.0

This. And do it for the deceased.

Crooked NYer - If u would do anything for your mom you would do this. Not for them. For her Phone Post 3.0

I looked after my grandmother when my Mom was not around. I went to rehabs and hospitals when she was ill. The sibling and cousin did nothing. I do not want to see their faces. Now they want to appear when she is dead. That is fine but I can not stand to see them. They can go pick up the takeout and leave me the fuck alone because they disgust me. I'm only making it about myself in the fact I do not want to see their fucking faces. I may not be perfect but I was there for my family. They can eat shit.

every funeral i've been a part of has basically just involved heavy drinking. whether or not I liked the other people there was pretty much irrelevant.....I reccomend booze. lots of it.

BJ Penn Forever - 
Crooked NYer - If u would do anything for your mom you would do this. Not for them. For her Phone Post 3.0

I looked after my grandmother when my Mom was not around. I went to rehabs and hospitals when she was ill. The sibling and cousin did nothing. I do not want to see their faces. Now they want to appear when she is dead. That is fine but I can not stand to see them. They can go pick up the takeout and leave me the fuck alone because they disgust me. I'm only making it about myself in the fact I do not want to see their fucking faces. I may not be perfect but I was there for my family. They can eat shit.

Consider that your job of taking care of the deceased is ALMMOST done. Do your best to make the funeral about honoring the deceased. After that, do what you have to.

Bro, sorry for your loss and for your situation. While I think everyone else is probably right to tell you to suck it up for your mom, I totally get where you are coming from on this. I say talk it out with mom and express how you feel tactfully. If she still wants you to do it, then do what you gotta do.

I'm kinda in your situation. Except the deceased hasn't died yet. I have a 100 year old grandma that I spend a lot of time with. My mom, grandpa and I are the only ones who ever see her. I know that as soon as she dies. The whole family is gonna act like she was a priority in their life. If I was in your situation. I would honestly just pick up the food. For your mom and for your grandma. Even though they didn't spend time with her. I'm sure she loved them and would want them fed. Grandmas have a thing for keeping everyone fed.

Cheesy jokes aside. Just go get the food. Phone Post 3.0

Mirko Troll Cop - I'm kinda in your situation. Except the deceased hasn't died yet. I have a 100 year old grandma that I spend a lot of time with. My mom, grandpa and I are the only ones who ever see her. I know that as soon as she dies. The whole family is gonna act like she was a priority in their life. If I was in your situation. I would honestly just pick up the food. For your mom and for your grandma. Even though they didn't spend time with her. I'm sure she loved them and would want them fed. Grandmas have a thing for keeping everyone fed.

Cheesy jokes aside. Just go get the food. Phone Post 3.0

I probably will go get the food. But I am telling them I have stuff to do and will leave, I'm not sitting down to break bread with those fucks. My sibling and cousin make me sick. I just can't eat with them or be around them right now. Plus I gotta be around them traveling to the funeral and at the funeral.

I really have no problem picking up the food but it is my mom's way of giving me a job in her little pack activity. There is no reason her sister or my sister/cousin can not go pick up the fucking food. I feel like after all I have done I have a right to be left the fuck alone tomorrow. She is encroaching on that right. I'm angry at some members of my family and she is not respecting my right to be angry and be left the fuck alone.

Good idea. Get the food. Then ditch. No reason for you to pretend to be happy with them. Phone Post 3.0

Get the food, drop it off, then bounce. No need to hang out with them if you aren't feeling it.

High road, gramps would have fed them. Phone Post 3.0

I understand OPs stance. I had a same instance. A grandparent passed and my cousin, who is a worthless shit, was a Paul bearer with us. He showed up to the funeral high as a kite. He's been on pills and drugs for over a decade. I can go on, but you get that he's very worthless if he comes to the funeral that messed up.

I carried my grandmother to my final resting spot. Am I happy he shared that with me and the other guys? No. But I know I was there for her and did my part. Sometimes, OP, it's not about how you feel. It's about what's the right thing to be done. Not saying its easy. But maybe take a step back and let your brain work, instead of your emotions. I'll pray for ya man. RIP to your loved one. Phone Post 3.0

This answers the question "I would do anything for love but I won't do that" Phone Post 3.0

Texas B - This answers the question "I would do anything for love but I won't do that" Phone Post 3.0
Little did we know Meatloaf was singing about delivery meatloaf. Phone Post 3.0

BJ Penn Forever - I'm talking about a deceased grandparent who my sibling and cousin ignored while they where alive. I can't see them or pick up food for them. I give two shits about them. They can pick up their own fucking food. Fuck them. I just want to be left alone before the day of the funeral.

Fair enough, I'd prob do the same

You have the whole rest of your life to be angry. Suck it up.

Well after I raised a slight protest with Mom I still told her I would do it gladly because I would do anything in the world for her. She knows that. I just told her I was not going to stay and eat/hangout. She ended up just picking it up herself before anyone arrived as they were coming late. She knows I've been there for her and my grandmother the whole time.

I'll see the whole gang in the am as I am riding to the funeral with them. I'll keep my mouth shut. Thanks for letting me vent OG bros.