I always look like a stepped in a puddle of sass.
He spends way too much time on the net.
Two years ago, Kipp Kollar had a steel cage match set up between me and Kenny Florian for the Mass Destruction Chain Belt Title Fight. For six months it was the buzz of the martial arts world and the internet. Florian knew he would be outpowered in the fight so he hired a personal trainer, began lifting weights for four hours a day, and did three cycles of anabolic steroids in a feeble attempt to level the playing field. But all the training and weight lifting couldn't stop the fear and cowardice that entered his soul: Two hours before the fight was supposed to go off, Florian ducked me and refused to do battle as he knew my Aikido and Tai-Chi skills far outweighed his Muay Thai and jiu-jitsu. I was so offended I retired and started photographing fights instead. I've never gotten over it and the fear of that disappointment happening again has kept me from stepping foot in the ring since that unfortunate day.
Other than pussying out against me, Florian's alright. He apologized to me for the inconvenience and the dissapointment and now he hires me to do privates and seminars for him once a month. With my help, he could be a UFC champion. So I wish him the best.
One of the less talked about feats of Kenny Florian is that he actually invented the ellipse. He said "what if I take the vertex of a circle, and split it into two?"
I think he didn't patent it or something, though, and some engineer (Matt Grasse-y?) stole it.
I heard that one time he got a Cocoa Puff stuck in his nose and his girlfriend had to take to the emergency room to get it taken out.
Kenny Florian is 7 feet tall, and he will consume the other TUF competitors with fireballs from his eyes, and bolts of lightning from his arse.
He invites people to heel hook him...he likes the pain.
His DVD:
http://onthemat.com/xcart/customer/product.php?productid=173&cat=&page=
Two video clips at Boston Brazilian Jiu Jitsu website:
http://www.bbjiujitsu.com/mmedia.htm
Some goofy gifs he and I did long ago:
http://www.bbjiujitsu.com/Animated.htm
My wife HATES the guy but after watching highlight footage of him conceded that he was good. She even figured out the secret to his success. She noticed he has unusually long arms and called him an orangutan.
" Woops sorry, that was William Wallace, not me."
Shit dude i thought you were describing me ;)
The story of Johnny Appleseed is based on Kenny Florian, except instead of planting apple trees, he was raping men. Or was that Bratsky?
I also heard he invented the Capital Asset Pricing Model. Way to go Kenny!
I heard something about him killing a bear when he was only like 3 yrs old or something.
Man, I still don't think anyone's given him a bio on Kenny. :)
In any case, Kenny, sweet-ass triangle from the mount.
Max
Kenny was once the big man at Maine's local Skirmish tournament, until one day, out of the blue,Rodrigo Medeiros shows up and destroys everyone. That's what you get for entering the "Expert" class. Kenny however was not submitted! although he was like one second away from being arm barred when the time ran out in overtime. What was Rodrigo MEdeiros doing in Maine anyway?
Kenny is a total badass, I have seen him rolling with very good black belts and doing very good, I saw him rolling one time with one very muscular and technical Mexican and he was still able to submit him several times!
This show is going to do wonders for all those on it.
Name recognition is huge in this sport. Just ask Shannon the Cannon.
Kenny has a Ph.D in particle physics from MIT, and now teaches wave mechanics theory as a fully-chaired college professor at Caltech. He is, indeed, a very bright fellow.
Kenny is ILL at SOCCER!.. and its tru he is 7 feet tall
My website is being built right now at www.kennyflorian.com. Hopefully should have some content there in a couple of weeks.
Yup, the Maine Skirmish. It was a great experience for me to go against BJJ black belt Rodrigo Medeiros in Maine. I had a little over a year of training at the time. It helped me tremendously.
I have a small competition bio here at http://www.mkimonos.com/kennyflorian.html
You can also check out a couple of fight vids of mine at www.subfighter.com. One BJJ highlight and one MMA/submission highlight is there. Go to Fighter Highlights, page 8.
Thanks guys. That is some funny stuff.
I heard kenny used to roam the earth searching for undiscovered varities of carrots and single handedly destroyed enemy tribes by melting there faces of with war screams.
When I first met Kenny I had no job, no house, nop car, and I was addicted to crack coacaine. Kenny Florian gave me a chance and turned my life around. Im now the countries best telemarketer and Jehovah's witness. All thanks to Kenny