The Discrepancy (big penis story)

Intro:

Upon reading the following demented tale, you may reach the following conclusion – I must be a fag of some sort. I posted this little blerb on another thread and I thought it would be good to include here to signify that I am by no means a fag of any sort.

“You know how I know I’m not gay? I play a little game with myself sometimes whenever I’m out in public and meet a new guy. I tell myself in my head ‘you gotta suck his dick’. And every time I do that it repulses me. Try it yourself sometime. Every time you come across a new male tell yourself ‘ok you want to be gay, you gotta suck his dick’. Because that’s what fags do, they suck everybody’s dick, any male. It doesn’t matter if they’re some fat bald brown guy, you got to suck his dick. That instantly reminds myself that I’m not gay because fags suck everybody’s dick and there’s no way I could do that. Now, if it was Channing Tatum or someone like that than maybe if I was on meth or something, but other than that, no way.

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What. The. Fuck. Did I just read?? 
   This is like Jim Norton’s Monster Rain story. Except he was 6. 
   You’re a fig Newton bro. Ain’t no judgement. 

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If you gotta test yourself...just come out and bang bro.

"What. The. Fuck. Did I just read?? "

 

The type of response I thoroughly enjoy. Another similar tale, entitled 'Crisci Returns - Jerkbutt and the Gay Retard' cumming soon as well as more terrible tales!

Frat summary.

 

You decided to invade your friends privacy while he jerked off, and jerk off with him.  Friend had a tiny cock.

 

Friend awkwardly lusted after your cock.

 

You refused to give into your clear homoerotic fantasies on display the night you were drunk out of fear.

 

The awkward, budding romance fell apart.

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^ haha thats 1 way of looking at it. Thanks for reading. But like I said in the story, I was used to whacking in the same room at my step bro so I thought it was normal. I didnt know any better. Also, maybe I'll include in another story, one night me and my step bro stuck our dick in the vaccuum cleaner. I remember i tried it on my balls too and it literally stretched my sack a foot long and scared the shit out of me lol. Cheers.

Dangerousdoug -

^ haha thats 1 way of looking at it. Thanks for reading. But like I said in the story, I was used to whacking in the same room at my step bro so I thought it was normal. I didnt know any better. Also, maybe I'll include in another story, one night me and my step bro stuck our dick in the vaccuum cleaner. I remember i tried it on my balls too and it literally stretched my sack a foot long and scared the shit out of me lol. Cheers.

Seriously just let your buddy suck your cock.  You will both be happier afterward.


 


No judgment. It's fine.  Nobody will care. 


 


No homo (but actually kinda homo)

Hilarious beginning and then it got boring.

 

One day you will find the right guy. 

 

Doug have you noticed the common denominator in pretty much all your stories? 

anal sex of the gay kind.

someone wrote in another thread that you had an admin erase the Crisci threads because the family tracked you down? is this accurate? I see you are about to release another one. 

VHStapefan - 

Hilarious beginning and then it got boring.


 


One day you will find the right guy. 


 


haha glad I included the intro now as I was thinking of excluding it. thanks for reading.

funny

Dude has been watching porn for years and doesn't know he has a small dick?

Peruvian Necktiez - 

Doug have you noticed the common denominator in pretty much all your stories? 


anal sex of the gay kind.


someone wrote in another thread that you had an admin erase the Crisci threads because the family tracked you down? is this accurate? I see you are about to release another one. 


Thanks for reading. While sodomy and incest is a common theme in my tales, most of them have nothing to do with it. Its just the ones that are most popular and get the best reception tend to have this theme. Me thinks its because its unique and no one really writes that way. Cheers.

hooke - funny

Dude has been watching porn for years and doesn't know he has a small dick?

Thanks for reading. Cheers.

Ya the Crisci threads I took down myself. The new one will bear the same name but will not focus on the original subject matter. This one is about another branch of that family who had a severely retarded brother who was also gay and some other goofball type stuff when I was like 13. Jerkbutt was me and my buddies low-budget version of jackass which was huge at the time.

hooke - funny

Dude has been watching porn for years and doesn't know he has a small dick?

Yeah wtf. He's watching grown porn stars bang but your 15 year old dick made him jealous. Get the fuck out of here.

^ maybe he thought he was average and pornstars all had huge dicks? or maybe its a perspective thing. because until then, i thought I was average or even smaller than average before that happened. later in life, i even compared my dick side by side to a 'large' dildo one time and my dick was slightly bigger - both in girth and length so i am indeed well-endowed. but dont get too excited now and ask me to stick it in your bum like ryan did, because, as i said, i do not swing that way. i just whack off occasionally in the same room or stick it in vaccuum cleaners with another dude. nothing gay about that though. cheers.

How do I go about getting a SN change?

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Dangerousdoug -

^ maybe he thought he was average and pornstars all had huge dicks? or maybe its a perspective thing. because until then, i thought I was average or even smaller than average before that happened. later in life, i even compared my dick side by side to a 'large' dildo one time and my dick was slightly bigger - both in girth and length so i am indeed well-endowed. but dont get too excited now and ask me to stick it in your bum like ryan did, because, as i said, i do not swing that way. i just whack off occasionally in the same room or stick it in vaccuum cleaners with another dude. nothing gay about that though. cheers.

Easy on the gay accusations. Not all of us thought jerking off with other dudes was normal growing up. It's kind of funny you're saying your step brother made you think it was normal because if my step brother tried that shit it would have immediately sent my WTF alarm into red alert. You fruit.

You’re either gay or a faggot. You pick.
Nothing I just read is normal for a straight dude. I never think about sucking guys’ cock. I also didn’t jerk off next to my friends and I sure as hell didn’t jerk off with my brother.
Aren’t you the guy that did gay shit while on Meth? 
 

^ not gay buddy. sorry if i got your hopes up. thanks for reading. yes, i used to do meth and yes it makes u do some weird stuff. when in rome..