The hardest skill to teach- trying

As someone who is currently in training and is also now taking a role in raining others, I have noticed that by far the hardest thing to teach a person is not a skill or technique, its not strength training, its not defense or offense.

The hardest thing to teach someone is not quitting.

Without a doubt, I believe that very few people are naturally wired to "never give up". Most guys who have been around long enough can tell after the first really challenging practice weather a guy can hack it or not. I believe that perseverance can be taught, but you have to learn to recognize the fact that most people will seek the easy way out when they are truly challenged.

Things to look for:

1) When a student is sparring, does he turn away from punches, does he appear aggravated or discouraged when he can't get the upper hand right away. Do you sense a noticeable drop in energy during rolling or sparring when a person cannot execute a technique the fist time? (For example, if I have you mounted and you can't buck me on the first two tries, do your subsequent attempts become weak and seem like "just going through the motions"?

2) Does the person lack proper conditioning? Vince Lombardi said, "Fatigue makes cowards or us all". How right he was! Conditioning is the most important factor in novice level athletes. Without the time to learn all the ins and outs of the techniques involved and without experience, the athlete will not be able to relax. This will cause a person to burn anxious energy, and to "power" through all aspects of his or her game. Rolling is not smooth, but rigid, punches are tight and slow after a short time.

3) Does this person have the proper tools and training? With time the ability to relax comes into play. Rolling with all skill levels is important for newer fighters. But confidence is also essential. I recommend that persons roll with someone slightly at or below their skill level 50% of the time and persons slightly above their skill level 50% of the time. Newer players get discouraged if they are totally dominated in practice.

4) Talk about the psychological occurrence of being hit. Most people don't like being hit. Big surprise right? No really, they probably don't even realize that they don't like being hit consciously as they subconsciously dread it. When you are worried about sparring as a new person, you get tense, that makes the punches hurt even worse. You won't say it at the time, but that will stick with you. So will feeling awkward and slow due to being new and not having time to develop the skills needed to succeed immediately. I like to talk to my guys and tell them to take it slow, relax as much as you can, see everything (Don't lock into tunnel vision) and try to work on what you learned. Then afterward I ask them their thoughts on how the session went. Most people will not tell you they were hurt. So I tell them in a way that will not embarrass them. "Once you get more experience, the punches don't hurt as much, you learn to slip and relax in there. It is always worst when you begin and you are uncomfortable. Your athletic potential isn't even being seen right
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now, you have to crawl before you walk." This reassures an athlete and makes him feel like he can trust you with how he feels about things. Tell him not to worry about getting things "perfect" but rather, to just get a feel for it and try to be comfortable.

The hardest thing for most people is retaining focus when they are hurt or tired. So every day in practice, challenge them, tell them that through conditioning you will test their will and make it stronger and through time and dedication, you will be correct. When they are ready, they will have earned it, because they didn't quit.

buddie

yes. thanks.

good post

good point, then again, some people can't hack it in the ring, and should just play monopoly or stick to something that isn't getting hit...

for example if you ask Marc Laimon, by far the best BJJ coach I've ever worked with if he'll ever fight he quickly answers, "I'm not a fighter, I don't like getting hit in the face." Fair enough, he's just awesome at JuJitz, and knows what he wants...

MayheM

I agree that some people aren't cut out for it. But there are others who really have the desire to compete and to fight but get discouraged when they don't understand the psycological process that comes with starting to learn the process of fighting. I think more people should address the issue. When you are going hard in excercises and a guy who really has the ambition to make it starts to get so discouraged becasue he has to drop out of drills, he starts to question everything. That's when a coach comes in and tells him how, with hard work, he can get past that problem.

buddie

I don't know if I agree with you on all sides of the issue. There's an old saying "You can't teach heart." To me that makes sense, you beat some guys down and they keep coming, other guys just quit, maybe it's genetic, maybe it's taught over years, but I'm not sure if you can just tell the guy to start being tough and he's gonna do it...

"To me that makes sense, you beat some guys down and they keep coming, other guys just quit, maybe it's genetic, maybe it's taught over years, but I'm not sure if you can just tell the guy to start being tough and he's gonna do it..."

Yeah. Winners never quit and quitters never win, but on the other hand those who never win and never quit are just stupid.

Besides, it's not exactly fun to always get beaten by bigger, stronger, and more skilled guys no matter how educational it might be.

"it's not exactly fun to always get beaten by bigger, stronger, and more skilled guys no matter how educational it might be."


That sums up my beginings as a fighter... the trick is to tough it out and eventually get through all that, and beat everyone. A good coach will make a younger, weaker guy train UP, so he might come in a wad of cookie dough, but leave carved of wood.

"I don't know if I agree with you on all sides of the issue. There's an old saying "You can't teach heart." To me that makes sense, you beat some guys down and they keep coming, other guys just quit, maybe it's genetic, maybe it's taught over years, but I'm not sure if you can just tell the guy to start being tough and he's gonna do it... "

Very good answer!

You can't "make" toughness, just like you can't "manufacture" desperation or any other emotion really. But, most people have more potential than they realize. As a coach you have to find out what makes them tick and get them to respond. If you can motivate them and teach them to focus (I feel lack of focus is at least 50% of failure) you will get the most out of what is inside of them. True that some people are just tough and stubborn, but the majority have to work on becoming tougher. As I said, I recommend at least 50% of the time a beginner engage in sparring/rolling with someone at or below his skill level at a controlled pace under an experienced eye.

buddie

You have to take that little voice that tells you to quit and kick
it square in the nuts, then push him down the stairs.
Eventually it'll go away... Mine has


mayhem

thanks...... The Buddie

A post with some thought and logic - most excellent. Good points as well.

I was watching a kid on a skateboard last week, he kept grinding a curb, I guess thats what it's called........

well, after about the 6th time, the board flipped, in the air when he landed on it, went right up into his chin,

blood was all over the place after that, sheesh. I ruined a jacket holding it to his chin while he called his mom to prepare her for when he got home....

yesterday, I saw him at the same spot, doing the same thing!!! I walked over & asked him how his chin was....... he had 6 stitches. I said, yet here you are again & I laughed. He said .....

"somethings you just gotta keep doing..... til you get it right, especially since I love it & I don't give up easily".

 He said his mom dislikes that about him. I told him, thats the part she should be most proud of.....

Very good post buddie, I enjoyed it.

*waves at Momita*


It's no longer Buddie its, THE BUDDIE

"I some people are naturally tough

Some people will never be tough

it isnt an either/or issue"



I agree that some people are naturally tough however, there are people that may not be so tough but when the deck is stacked against them and their back is against the wall, they answer the call, their will power takes over, and their instinct to survive kicks into another gear. Personally I have never considered myself "tough", but I have all the skills and training to become tough if the situation calls for it. i.e, if my daughters life was in danger then there would be no word that one could use that would describe my reaction. You could bet your ass that whatever was in my way would not only see tough, they would see fierce. White blind rage could not even describe my reaction. I think that a lot of people are the same as me, they may not be "tough". Oh but they are TOUGH!

There is a fine line between not giving up and just being stupid. If it is going to permanently damage you why not give up. That being said don't let people make you their bitch. Unless you're really tired:)

I kinda agree with the seemingly opposite viewpoints expressed in this thread. People are made out of different mental toughness, but like everything else, it can be improved and worked on, with the techniques Buddies talks about. Just like sprinting classes and trainng will make you run faster but genetics are a BIG factor.

Sometimes, its all about perception. Just like you "know" when to not apply max pressure on your partner's arm you or you yourself when to tap or how intense you can and cannot be in sparring, you learn how to deal with pain and asswhooping and your own treshold.

Of course, it depends too on what you are after. I dont intend to have a pro carreer, maybe, just maybe one or two or three amateur fights down the road, so of cousre I wont put up with constant pain, bruises and blackeyes. I train for FUN too.