You know, I teach self defense at my town and yesterday I received a message of a person making joke of me because of this. Of course, I just delete the message and nothing happened, but later it makes me think about a topic:
* What do you think about those persons who do not "believe" in self defense (or in learning self defense)?
* What do you think is the cause of this way of thinking? Because if it is a matter of common sense, everybody should want to learn how to protect themselves. Aren´t they?
And finally, Whay do you say as a self defense instructor, to that persons?
I know it is not a strictly SD question, but as a colleague, I just wanted to know your opinon and how you solve this situation.
You know it is funny you bring this question up. I had this just happen to me recently, I was passionately speaking with a few people about Coach's training and the appreciation that I have for it. He stopped me and asked me "why do you bother with that shit? there is no need to fight, you should be able to walk away from anything".....I aligned with him and said I understood where he was coming from. I thought about a story that Coach tells in one of his audios and also his Rape Safe Tapes. I told him that it was not about violence, fighting fire with fire, he had misinterpreted my conversation. I then asked him if he had something in his life that they really loved, I mean really loved, and he said that he had a son, a 3 year old. I asked him why do you love him, tell me about the happiest day you ever had with your son. The guy thought for a minute and then told me about this day that they had spent alone together fishing on his boat, and he went into all these details about the fish he caught and the excitement of his son, etcc. I said, cool, that sounds like a really special day, you must really love that kid. He was glowing. I then said, what would happen if you had come home and some god damn nut bag had broken into your house, had his wife tied up in the corner and the nutbag was naked dancing in front of his kid who was also tied and bound and was getting ready to sodomize the little boy.....what would you do?. Well, the guy turned red, I mean his veins in his forehead started to bulge and his hands tightened up, I thought he was going to hit me. He said "I would kill the guy, I would fucking kill him", this guy was physically shaking. I calmed him down and reminded him that this had not happened yet, but could. I asked him, how did you get so empowered? Where did you just become this great warrior? I then asked if it would be valuable to him if he would be able to take that rage and channel it emotioanlly, psychologically and physically to quickly end this situation? Of course he agreed. I then reiterated to him what Coach Blauer has pointed out time and time again. We are more likely to come to the defense of someone we love, or something we love, than we are to defend ourselves. Huge lightbulb moment for this guy. My approach to this person and situation comes directly out of the PDR curriculum and the learning library that Tony Blauer has. They are the tools and tactics that Tony Blauer has given me, I just happened to pick the target (his heart). The 3 T's, tools / targets and tactics.. They are all there, you need the awareness to access them.
Nice application, Joe.
You gotta love light bulb moments!!
There will always be some people who scoff at what you (we) do. Some will claim a gun solves everything, some will say you should just walk away, while others are merely insecure, and although they may doubt themselves and their own abilities, are too proud to let on that you have what they need. Thus, they put you down rather than admit to their own weakness.
"A Warrior seeks weakness" - BTS Maxim
Not everyone is a warrior at heart, although I believe everyone has the capability of rising to the occaision, when necessary and if properly focused. That is, as Joe shared above and Tony shares in his tapes, at the very heart and essence of the Personal Defense Readiness system.
Do the best you can, reach those you can, and NEVER take it personal (even though it may feel personal at times). Take pride in helping those that you can, when you can. The others, well, something may happen one day to open their eyes. As long as you have remained professional and "respected" their attitude, they may still come back to you in the end.
Adam LaClair, Personal Defense Readiness Team
Thanks Joe and Adam.
I have Rape Safe and the audio tapes and I have heard that story which I think it is the best way to empower a person.
Of course I understand there is a lot of people who is asking me to teach them, but it is hard to think that the rest of the people are not interested in learning something that is very useful for everybody.
Too bad girls can't walk away from being raped.
I keep an article in my wallet about a man whose house was broken into. He was a gun owner , and actually kept a gun in his night stand. He realized someone was in his house, and got out his weapon. Stormed out into to the hallway only to bump inot the guy. In a frightened hop, he dropped his weapon . He was beaten senseless while trying to retrieve his gun.
MARCOS worte: What do you think about those
persons who do not "believe" in self defense (or in
learning self defense)?
* What do you think is the cause of this way of
MANY THINGS...FEAR, DOUBT, INSECURTIY,
APATHY, VICTORIAN VALUES...
Because if it is a matter of common sense,
everybody should want to learn how to protect
themselves. Aren´t they?
YES THEY SHOULD....
And finally, Whay do you say as a self defense
instructor, to that persons?
NOTHING MUCH - ANYMORE...
I know it is not a strictly SD question, but as a
colleague, I just wanted to know your opinon and
how you solve this situation.
IF YOU WERE A THERAPIST, YOU'D HAVE HUNG
YOURSELFLONG AGO...TRY NOT TO TAKE TOO
MUCH OF YOUR WORK HOME WITH YOU :-)
REGARDING THIS VERY ISSUE, I TRAIN MY TEAM
USING THIS PARADIGM: DO WHAT YOU DO
BECUASE YOU BELIEVE...EMBRACE THE ASLET
MOTTO: THOSE WHO TEACH LEARN,
THEREFORE THE CLASS IS AS MUCH FOR YOU
AS IT IS FOR THEM...
BOTTOM LINE MARCOS, IF THEY DONT CARE
ABOUT THEMSELVES, WHY SHOULD YOU?
MOVE ON. THERE'S A STUDENT WAITING FOR
YOU AROUND THE CORNER BUT CANT FIND
YOU, BIECASUE YOUR WASTING YOUR TIME &
ENERGY WITH A PERSON WHO DOESNT GET IT.
Thank you Tony and all the guys who replied.
Famous advice :-)
Man, where does this guy get this stuff? Oh, wait--he's Tony Blauer.
One of the lessons I had to learn early on in my teaching career is that not everyone looks at things, values things, and believes in things the same way I do.
Also, I will never be able to convince everyone I want to think like me. If I could, I would go into politics or religion and become very very wealthy ;]
However, there are those who are misinformed, or have mistaken assumptions that you can reach. These are people who take self-defense seriously and want to learn. These are the people you can reach.
Someone mentioned the gun thing. I get that all the time. I teach a women's self defense class, and several men have said, "why don't you just teach the women how to use a gun".
Now, logic won't convince everyone, but my stock answer is:
Guns are tools and appropriate in certain situations. For this tool to be effective it must be carried or accessible (try that on a plane, or across state lines, or in a public building, or on a beach, or in the shower), you must predict the danger in time to draw and aim the weapon (so no surprise attacks - they are against the rules), you must - under stress - be able to aim and operate the weapon using rather fine motor control (explaining how adrenaline can make this difficult), and you must be willing and able to take the life of another human being. I don't know about the state you live in but if some guy throws a punch at me in a bar and I blow him away - I'm going to jail for a really long time.
Are there situations where I would want a gun - absolutely. However, if I buy a gun and think I'm now safe, I have become a prisoner to my weapon. It's the same with knives, mace, or even your favorite technique. It's the, "oh crap that didn't work, what do I do now?" that's going to get you messed up in a real beef.
To me, that's one of many spots where Coach Blauer's training shines.